In Darkness Lost by Ariel Paiement Page B

Because your people need you.” As soon as he said it, he looked into my eyes and he saw it wasn’t enough. “I need you.”
    “You do not. You’ve frozen me out in the last week or so. Do you think I didn’t notice your formality and cold distance when we were visiting the last few encampments?” I dropped my gaze to my hands, which were still clenched against his chest.
    He looked at me, eyes worn. For a moment, it almost seemed he would cry. He rested his forehead against mine. “And I’ve been dying inside every minute of that time.”
    I looked up into his dark eyes again, startled. “But… I thought you… I thought you hated me. Why did you do it, then?” I searched his face for answers.
    “Because I didn’t think I could or should let myself love you until I knew if we’d get out of this. Because I didn’t want to get you drawn into those feelings any further until we knew if we’d have a future. And… I couldn’t bear the thought of loving you just to lose you.” He brushed his lips across mine, and stared at me.
    I put my arms around his neck, heart thudding. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why close yourself off to me? I thought I’d lost you, and… When I got back… When my mother was dead, I thought I’d lost everyone I cared about. I thought you didn’t care about me anymore.”
    He shook his head. “That was never true.”
    My eyes glittered with tears. Then he was kissing me. And the pain was starting to become bearable again. It felt like maybe, just maybe, I could face the world again. But only if I knew he was going to help me do it. Because I knew, even if no one else did, I couldn’t make it without his steady strength and loyal love guiding me.
    I let myself fall into his kiss, not ever wanting it to stop. When it did, I looked at him. “Promise me that you won’t ever withdraw and leave me alone again.”
    He looked at me. There, in his eyes, I saw something battling against his willingness to promise. I briefly wondered what it was.
     “Promise me…” I pressed, my voice softening.
    “I promise. I love you, Dairdra, and I won’t let anything get in the way of that again.” His answer, when it finally came, was quiet and fierce.
    I nodded. I wanted to ask him again if he’d ever consider marrying me, but I didn’t think either of us was ready to consider that option seriously yet.
    “Thank you.” I pressed my lips against his again.
    He kissed me back, and I tightened my grip on him. Despite his promise, I was still worried I might lose him again anyway. Scared that if I lost him, I might not get him back.
    When he pulled away again, he whispered, “They’re holding your mother’s funeral in two days. I’ll stay with you for as long as you need, but you need to promise me not to think about dying again. You can’t leave me. Not after everything we’ve gone through. You can’t die now. You promise me that.” He looked at me, earnest.
    I looked back, uncertain. “But what if I can’t help it? I am on the battlefield. I am the Queen, and I have to be out there leading my people. That’s not exactly safe.”
    “Then just promise me that you’ll do everything in your power to avoid dying.”
    “I think I can do that.” I nodded. “I promise you that, Crypt.” I whispered.
    “And… One more thing… I’ll have to talk to the Council about it, but with their permission, when the war is over, will you marry me?” He smiled down at me.
    I sat there, shocked and dizzy. He’d asked me! I had been beginning to think he never would. But he had. He’d finally asked me.
    My voice dropped even quieter until he could barely hear my answer. “If we both live through this war, and you get the council’s approval, I’ll marry you, Crypt Valldresson.”
    My words hung softly in my ears long after he went, and for the first time since the beginning of the war, I truly felt that we might be able to win the war after all. Crypt had agreed to help me, and he’d