I'll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson

ask.
    â€œWhere the hell is Ralph? Where the hell is Ralph?” Prophet demands again, still in a tizzy. Jude leans out the window by the bed, hollers, “Sorry, Prophet, nobody knows!” I didn’t know she talks to Prophet too. I smile.
    â€œA Ouija Board,” she says. “Found it in Grandma’s room. She and I did it once. We can ask it stuff and it gets the answers.”
    â€œFrom who?” I ask, though I think I’ve seen one before in some movie.
    â€œYou know. The spirits.” She smiles and raises her eyebrows up and down and up and down in an exaggerated way. I feel my lips curving into a grin. I so want to be on a team with Jude again! I want things to be like they used to be with us.
    â€œOkay,” I say, “sure.”
    Her face lights up. “Come on.” And it’s like the whole horrible sticky stupid conversation didn’t even happen, like we weren’t just both in bits. How can everything change so quickly?
    She teaches me how to do it, how to hold the pointer just barely so the hands of the spirits can push it through my hands to the letters or to the “yes” and “no” written on the board.
    â€œI’m going to ask a question now,” she says, closing her eyes and putting her arms out like she’s being crucified.
    I start to laugh. “And I’m the weirdo? Really?”
    She opens one eye. “This is how you have to do it, I swear. Grandma taught me.” She closes the eye. “Okay, spirits. This is my question for you: Does M. love me?”
    â€œWho’s M.?” I say.
    â€œJust someone.”
    â€œMichael Stein?”
    â€œUck, no way!”
    â€œNot Max Fracker!”
    â€œGod no!”
    â€œThen who?”
    â€œNoah, the spirits aren’t going to come if you keep interrupting. I’m not going to say who.”
    â€œFine,” I say.
    She spreads her arms and asks the spirits again, then puts her hands on the pointer.
    I put mine on too. It beelines to
No
. I’m pretty sure I pushed it there.
    â€œYou’re cheating!” she cries.
    The next time I don’t cheat and it still goes to
No
.
    Jude’s supremely perturbed. “Let’s try again.”
    This time I can tell she’s moving it to
Yes
. “Now
you’re
cheating,” I say.
    â€œOkay, once more.”
    It goes to
No
.
    â€œLast try,” she says.
    It goes to
No
.
    She sighs. “Okay, you ask a question.”
    I close my eyes and ask silently: Will I get into CSA next year?
    â€œOut loud,” she says, exasperated.
    â€œWhy?”
    â€œBecause the spirits can’t hear inside your head.”
    â€œHow do you know?”
    â€œI just do. Now spill. And don’t forget the arms.”
    â€œFine.” I put my arms out like I’m on the cross and ask, “Will I get into CSA next year?”
    â€œThat’s a wasted question. Of course you’re getting in.”
    â€œI need to know for sure.”
    I make her do it over ten times. Each time it goes to
No
. Finally, she flips the board. “It’s just a stupid thing,” she says, but I know she doesn’t believe it. M. doesn’t love her and I’m not going to CSA.
    â€œLet’s ask if you’re going,” I say.
    â€œThat’s dumb. No way I’m getting in. Who knows if I’m even going to apply? I want to go to Roosevelt like everyone else. They have a swim team.”
    â€œC’mon,” I say.
    It goes to
Yes
.
    Again.
    And again.
    And again.
    â€¢Â â€¢Â â€¢
    I can’t lie awake in bed for another minute, so I put on some clothes and climb onto the roof to see if the new kid’s on his. He’s not, which isn’t totally surprising since it’s not even six in the morning and barely light yet, but I kept thinking while I was tossing around in bed like a caught fish, that he was awake too, that he was up on his roof shooting electric