If Only by Becky Citra

is that baby’s father? D’you think Martin, I mean River , smokes pot too?”
    â€œHow should I know?” Danny says. “Probably. Just play , will you?”
    Danny likes sports, and he’s usually pretty good at sinking baskets, but today he’s missing a lot too. Finally he sighs in disgust, “Let’s quit.”
    â€œOkay,” Hugh says. His cheeks are pink and his round glasses are steamed up. He takes them off and wipes them on his shirt. “What do you want to do?”
    Danny’s fingers slip inside his jean pocket and touch the folded scrap of paper with Raymond’s address. Five forty-one Basken Street. He’s memorized it. All morning it’s been eating away at him. He’s been flipping back and forth in his mind about whether to ask Hugh to go with him.
    He pulls out the paper.
    â€œWhat’s that?” Hugh says.
    â€œAn address,” Danny says. “Some place I gotta go.”
    He makes up his mind. “Can you keep a secret?” he says.

Pam
    When Billie says it happened to her sister Nancy, I can’t handle it. I don’t want to know.
    I mumble goodbye and then lie awake most of the night, worrying and wondering.
    I don’t get up until almost lunchtime the next day. Danny has gone out again. I heard the phone ring ages ago. Maybe it was Hugh.
    I check to see where Dad is (in the living room in front of the TV ) and close the kitchen door. I dial Billie’s number.
    A woman answers the phone and says she’ll get Billie.
    Billie says, “Hello.”
    â€œIt’s me again. Pam.”
    â€œJust a sec.”
    A door closes. Billie is back. “Hi,” she says.
    â€œI’m sorry I…I…” I take a big breath. “I didn’t know what to say last night. What happened?”
    There’s a long silence. I’m pretty sure Billie is crying. I’ve really screwed this up. I don’t know what to do.
    Billie says, “Sorry.That was weird. I didn’t think I was going to do that. I thought I was over it.”
    Then Billie talks and I listen.
    â€œIt was my cousin. Paul. He’s my stepcousin, actually. He’s way older than me. Twenty-one, I think. His mom and dad are my aunt Susan and uncle Ted. He’s not Aunt Susan’s real son, he’s her stepson. Uncle Ted was married to someone else before, and Paul came to live with them when he was a teenager because he was having a lot of problems. I really like my aunt and uncle. I hate Paul.”
    A shiver runs up my back. “What did he do?” And then I add, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
    â€œI do want to. It’s just hard.” Billie hesitates. “It was last July. A month after my sister’s high school prom. Mary was only about two months old. Mom kind of fell apart when Mary was born. She got really depressed and she acted like she didn’t even want Mary. I think she was kind of shocked she’d even had another baby so long after me and Nancy. Anyway, my dad finally talked her into going for a drive, and me and Nancy stayed home with Mary.”
    My chest tightens. This is scary. I’m not even sure I want to hear the rest.
    â€œWe were watching TV and then we put Mary to bed and I went into my room to read. I heard the doorbell and I yelled, ‘Who is it?’ and Nancy yelled back, ‘It’s just Paul.’ I could hear them in the kitchen, kind of laughing and joking around. Paul had brought a bunch of food. Aunt Susan was always sending over stuff like casseroles and cakes because Mom didn’t feel like cooking. I went down the hall to join them, and then I heard Paul ask if it was okay if he had one of Dad’s beers and Nancy said that, yeah, it was okay and she was going to have one too. I hated it when Nancy tried to act all cool like that. She didn’t even like drinking. So I went back to my room and shut my door. I