I Shall Live

I Shall Live by Henry Orenstein

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Authors: Henry Orenstein
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was it. All kinds of thoughts were racing in my mind: the excitement of a gigantic struggle between two large armies, fear of the Germans, hope that all this could somehow lead to the end of the war. I rushed home with the news. Sam, Felek, Father, and I spent the whole day talking, worrying, hoping. Since we were a hundred kilometers from the border, we felt that we were in no immediate danger. The Soviet army was very large and well equipped; even at worst, it would certainly not collapse as quickly as had the Polish army.
    The Soviet radio made no announcement until late in the day. When it came, it was, of course, typical Soviet propaganda: “The heroic Soviet army will deal the treacherous fascist invaders acrushing blow,” and so on. Even the master of treachery himself, Stalin, apparently found it difficult to believe that Hitler, his new friend and ally, would launch such a massive attack against him without the slightest provocation or warning. Even though we were caught in the middle, we felt a certain satisfaction at the ignominious end of the cynical pact between those two despots.
    Once again, as in September 1939, it was likely that Sam and Felek—and this time perhaps I as well—would be mobilized. And once again, it all became academic because of the rapid advances of the German army. By the third day of the war we watched, with dis-belief and broken hearts, Russian tanks and soldiers fleeing east in a disorderly retreat. Soon the BBC confirmed German claims of having dealt the Soviets a smashing defeat, and those menacing low-flying Stukas appeared in the skies without challenge from Soviet fighter planes.
    Once more we discussed our options. We might flee with the Russians; the problem there was that Father was ill with asthma and had a double hernia, and it would have been very dangerous for him to embark on a long journey without knowing whether medical care would be available at any point along the way. We felt—as events were to prove, correctly—that almost certainly we would have been caught by the rapid advance of the German armies, and would have found ourselves somewhere in the Ukraine without the conveniences of our temporary home in Ołyka. The idea of escaping into the forests, as a few young people were thinking of doing, we never seriously considered, mainly because of Father’s health.
    Hitler had not yet begun his systematic destruction of the Jews. After the collapse of Poland there was a wave of atrocities, usually forced marches on which tens of thousands of Jews, mainly men, were killed by the Einsatzkommandos. That was followed bya period of increasingly dehumanizing policies: Jews were sealed into ghettos, were forced to surrender most of their money in the form of “contributions,” and were made to suffer many indignities. But there had been no mass killings including women and children, as yet. The speeches of Hitler and his lieutenants included a great deal of rhetoric concerning their plans for rendering Europe free of Jews (
Judenrein
), “stamping out the Jewish vermin,” and so forth, but only the extreme pessimists could believe that Germany, a nation of poets, philosophers, musicians, and scientists, a nation that had given the world Beethoven, Goethe, and Kant, could actually embark on a program of deliberate mass extermination of the Jewish people as a whole, including innocent children, helpless old people, and women.
    So we decided to wait for the arrival of the Germans and their occupation, hoping that we would survive somehow, that the Russians, with the help of “General Winter,” would eventually defeat Hitler as they had Napoleon in 1812, and that America would sooner or later enter the war and rescue Europe once again as she had in World War I.
    We thought too that in the meantime we might find a chance to rejoin the rest of our family in Hrubieszów. It was now a year and nine months since we had left home, and

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