didn't really feel like discussing my awkward situation with my parents with anyone, least of all someone I'd just met.
We visited a few bakeries, more than one stationery shop, and a few dress places, just to try things on. Looking at myself in the endless mirrors, I felt next to nothing. It was just me in a big fluffy white dress. I wasn't a bride. I was just playing a part.
"I'm surprised I can fit into my normal size, after those burgers last night," I commented as we left one of the dress shops.
"Tell me about it." Lindsey laughed. "Worth it, though, right?"
"Always." I hesitated. "So, you guys used to go there a lot when you were kids, huh?"
"Not as much as we would have liked to." She turned to look at me. "Has Daniel told you very much about his childhood?"
I shook my head. "Almost nothing."
"I figured as much," she said. "He doesn’t like to talk about it. That's his way of coping, I guess." She was silent for a moment. "I don't mean to make it sound like our family life was some kind of horror show. It wasn't really all that bad. But it was hard, sometimes. We didn't exactly have a lot of money to spread around in the early days. The first time Dad took us out to Jerry's Grill, it was because we came home from school early - there was a problem with the gas lines or something, I don't even remember now - and we walked in on him with another woman. He promised to take us out for burgers if we kept our mouths shut. Being a couple of little brats, of course we kept demanding to go back every time we were unhappy, or he did something we didn't like. I feel terrible about it now. I'm sure Dan does too. But we didn't know what we were doing at the time, really. Kids are selfish. We just wanted to eat something for dinner that wasn't out of a box from the discount store. I have no idea how my dad scraped the money together to keep taking us there, but he found a way."
I had no idea what to say in response to all that. My head was swimming. I just nodded silently and waited for her to continue.
"My mom never found out, as far as I know. I guess it was better that way. I don't know if my dad kept doing it. They were both young, and I realize now that I'm not sure if they ever really loved each other. It could have very well been a shotgun wedding. For years, I shied away from close relationships because of what they'd taught me through example. Thank God I met Ray. He stuck by me even when I tried to push him away." Her eyes were very far away as she spoke. Finally, she turned back to me. "I've got to say, I was really happy when Daniel told me that he'd found someone. I was afraid it would never happen for him. I think the whole situation affected him more than it did me. It's hard not to get cynical about love, coming from a background like that."
"Yeah," I said. "Believe me, I know. I mean…I don't know if my parents cheated on each other, but they definitely weren't in love."
Lindsey nodded. "There's a lot of that going around, isn't there? People getting married for every possible reason, except for the right ones."
Tell me about it .
I wanted so badly to tell her, then - to just blurt out the truth. But I knew I wouldn't be able to handle the way her face would fall, realizing that Daniel hadn’t found his true love after all. I had to let her believe we were happy together, at least for a little while.
I was horrified realize tears were welling up in the corners of my eyes. I forced them back, swallowing the lump in my throat and walking forward.
"Anyway," said Lindsey. "Enough of this depressing crap. Have you picked a venue yet?"
"No," I admitted. "To be honest, I've been putting a lot of things off…it's just so overwhelming, but I know it's not going to get any easier the longer I wait."
"That's what I'm here for!" said Lindsey. "Why don't we head back to the apartment and start looking at places online. We're going to want to narrow it down before we start driving all over the state looking
We visited a few bakeries, more than one stationery shop, and a few dress places, just to try things on. Looking at myself in the endless mirrors, I felt next to nothing. It was just me in a big fluffy white dress. I wasn't a bride. I was just playing a part.
"I'm surprised I can fit into my normal size, after those burgers last night," I commented as we left one of the dress shops.
"Tell me about it." Lindsey laughed. "Worth it, though, right?"
"Always." I hesitated. "So, you guys used to go there a lot when you were kids, huh?"
"Not as much as we would have liked to." She turned to look at me. "Has Daniel told you very much about his childhood?"
I shook my head. "Almost nothing."
"I figured as much," she said. "He doesn’t like to talk about it. That's his way of coping, I guess." She was silent for a moment. "I don't mean to make it sound like our family life was some kind of horror show. It wasn't really all that bad. But it was hard, sometimes. We didn't exactly have a lot of money to spread around in the early days. The first time Dad took us out to Jerry's Grill, it was because we came home from school early - there was a problem with the gas lines or something, I don't even remember now - and we walked in on him with another woman. He promised to take us out for burgers if we kept our mouths shut. Being a couple of little brats, of course we kept demanding to go back every time we were unhappy, or he did something we didn't like. I feel terrible about it now. I'm sure Dan does too. But we didn't know what we were doing at the time, really. Kids are selfish. We just wanted to eat something for dinner that wasn't out of a box from the discount store. I have no idea how my dad scraped the money together to keep taking us there, but he found a way."
I had no idea what to say in response to all that. My head was swimming. I just nodded silently and waited for her to continue.
"My mom never found out, as far as I know. I guess it was better that way. I don't know if my dad kept doing it. They were both young, and I realize now that I'm not sure if they ever really loved each other. It could have very well been a shotgun wedding. For years, I shied away from close relationships because of what they'd taught me through example. Thank God I met Ray. He stuck by me even when I tried to push him away." Her eyes were very far away as she spoke. Finally, she turned back to me. "I've got to say, I was really happy when Daniel told me that he'd found someone. I was afraid it would never happen for him. I think the whole situation affected him more than it did me. It's hard not to get cynical about love, coming from a background like that."
"Yeah," I said. "Believe me, I know. I mean…I don't know if my parents cheated on each other, but they definitely weren't in love."
Lindsey nodded. "There's a lot of that going around, isn't there? People getting married for every possible reason, except for the right ones."
Tell me about it .
I wanted so badly to tell her, then - to just blurt out the truth. But I knew I wouldn't be able to handle the way her face would fall, realizing that Daniel hadn’t found his true love after all. I had to let her believe we were happy together, at least for a little while.
I was horrified realize tears were welling up in the corners of my eyes. I forced them back, swallowing the lump in my throat and walking forward.
"Anyway," said Lindsey. "Enough of this depressing crap. Have you picked a venue yet?"
"No," I admitted. "To be honest, I've been putting a lot of things off…it's just so overwhelming, but I know it's not going to get any easier the longer I wait."
"That's what I'm here for!" said Lindsey. "Why don't we head back to the apartment and start looking at places online. We're going to want to narrow it down before we start driving all over the state looking
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