Humpty Dumpty: The killer wants us to put him back together again (Book 1 of the Nursery Rhyme Murders Series) by Carolyn McCray, Ben Hopkin
Authors: Carolyn McCray, Ben Hopkin
Tags: General Fiction
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the best falafel he’d ever had. Taking cab rides. Showering in a nice hotel room. Buying new clothes on someone else’s dime. Joshua was more content than he could remember being since his family was torn away from him.
He turned the water to cold, allowing the needles of freezing water to pelt into his skin. It was a cat-o-nine-tails, and Joshua would keep beating himself with it until the pain diminished. The dirt and sweat of the last week circled the drain at his feet, sucked down to the sewers where they belonged. The corrosion of his soul was going nowhere. It would stay right where it was.
That seemed more than appropriate to him.
Stepping out of the shower, he grabbed the floor mat and used that to dry himself off. It was rougher than the towels that had been provided, and he scraped his skin with vigor, turning it red with the friction. That would serve as the shirt of hair.
The thought of putting back on his torn and bloody clothes was repugnant. Therefore, he forced himself to do it. He dragged the shirt on over his head, wincing in pain as the action tugged at his bruised ribs and the fabric caught on his wound.
This was more like it.
Passing by the minibar, Joshua pulled out two bottles of alcohol and downed them without looking to see what they were. Captain Morgan and another Smirnoff. Perfect.
When he stepped out into the hall, Coop was waiting for him.
“Ready?”
Joshua gave a bark of bitter laughter. “Are you kidding?”
Agent Cooper shrugged her shoulders. “Hey, I’m just glad you took a shower.”
The first clothing store she tried to take him to, escorted by the annoying Pakistani driver, Joshua rejected out of hand. It was trendy and expensive and he refused to even set foot in the establishment.
Next was a mall. They left after Joshua called the attendant at Hollister “drag queen bait” and security was called.
They were now at a Gap outlet, and while he was still annoyed, Joshua was at least finding some t-shirts and jeans. Coop was off to the side, her mouth set in a hard line and her foot tapping. Joshua was doing a great job as far as he could tell.
“You know that we’re going to be interacting with the public, right?” she asked.
“Whatever.”
“No, not whatever ,” Agent Cooper snapped back. She took a deep breath and held it for a second before continuing. “We have to look like law enforcement.”
“I’m undercover.”
She got out her phone and looked at the time, then back at Joshua. “I’m the one with the card, so I’m not sure why you think you have any say in this.” She set her phone down on top of a display for a moment while she looked at a button down shirt.
The phone buzzed, vibrating on the hard surface. It moved toward the edge, almost falling to the ground before Joshua scooped it up and answered.
“Agent Cooper’s phone,” he spoke into the receiver, as Coop moved toward him, hand outstretched to take the cell away from him.
“Ah… Joshua?” It was Agent Tanner. “Where’s Agent Cooper?”
“She’s around here somewhere. Didn’t you want to ask if I managed to take a shower? I was going to, but when I was taking off my underwear I found this green spot of rot between my legs…” Before Agent Cooper managed to snatch the phone away from him, Joshua was sure he heard the sound of retching from the other end of the line. Man, that agent really didn’t like talking about personal hygiene. Felt like Joshua had uncovered the super agent’s kryptonite.
“I’m sorry, sir,” Coop spoke into the phone, glaring at Joshua. “What did you need?” There was a pause, then, “Yes, sir. Will do.” She ended the call.
“What was that about? Checking up on my blood-alcohol level? It’s point-two-oh, by the way. Oh, and how’s that monitor treating you?” He pointed down at her ankle.
Agent Cooper peered at him, maybe looking for a scrap of decency. Boy, was she going to be disappointed. Whatever she seemed to find didn’t
He turned the water to cold, allowing the needles of freezing water to pelt into his skin. It was a cat-o-nine-tails, and Joshua would keep beating himself with it until the pain diminished. The dirt and sweat of the last week circled the drain at his feet, sucked down to the sewers where they belonged. The corrosion of his soul was going nowhere. It would stay right where it was.
That seemed more than appropriate to him.
Stepping out of the shower, he grabbed the floor mat and used that to dry himself off. It was rougher than the towels that had been provided, and he scraped his skin with vigor, turning it red with the friction. That would serve as the shirt of hair.
The thought of putting back on his torn and bloody clothes was repugnant. Therefore, he forced himself to do it. He dragged the shirt on over his head, wincing in pain as the action tugged at his bruised ribs and the fabric caught on his wound.
This was more like it.
Passing by the minibar, Joshua pulled out two bottles of alcohol and downed them without looking to see what they were. Captain Morgan and another Smirnoff. Perfect.
When he stepped out into the hall, Coop was waiting for him.
“Ready?”
Joshua gave a bark of bitter laughter. “Are you kidding?”
Agent Cooper shrugged her shoulders. “Hey, I’m just glad you took a shower.”
The first clothing store she tried to take him to, escorted by the annoying Pakistani driver, Joshua rejected out of hand. It was trendy and expensive and he refused to even set foot in the establishment.
Next was a mall. They left after Joshua called the attendant at Hollister “drag queen bait” and security was called.
They were now at a Gap outlet, and while he was still annoyed, Joshua was at least finding some t-shirts and jeans. Coop was off to the side, her mouth set in a hard line and her foot tapping. Joshua was doing a great job as far as he could tell.
“You know that we’re going to be interacting with the public, right?” she asked.
“Whatever.”
“No, not whatever ,” Agent Cooper snapped back. She took a deep breath and held it for a second before continuing. “We have to look like law enforcement.”
“I’m undercover.”
She got out her phone and looked at the time, then back at Joshua. “I’m the one with the card, so I’m not sure why you think you have any say in this.” She set her phone down on top of a display for a moment while she looked at a button down shirt.
The phone buzzed, vibrating on the hard surface. It moved toward the edge, almost falling to the ground before Joshua scooped it up and answered.
“Agent Cooper’s phone,” he spoke into the receiver, as Coop moved toward him, hand outstretched to take the cell away from him.
“Ah… Joshua?” It was Agent Tanner. “Where’s Agent Cooper?”
“She’s around here somewhere. Didn’t you want to ask if I managed to take a shower? I was going to, but when I was taking off my underwear I found this green spot of rot between my legs…” Before Agent Cooper managed to snatch the phone away from him, Joshua was sure he heard the sound of retching from the other end of the line. Man, that agent really didn’t like talking about personal hygiene. Felt like Joshua had uncovered the super agent’s kryptonite.
“I’m sorry, sir,” Coop spoke into the phone, glaring at Joshua. “What did you need?” There was a pause, then, “Yes, sir. Will do.” She ended the call.
“What was that about? Checking up on my blood-alcohol level? It’s point-two-oh, by the way. Oh, and how’s that monitor treating you?” He pointed down at her ankle.
Agent Cooper peered at him, maybe looking for a scrap of decency. Boy, was she going to be disappointed. Whatever she seemed to find didn’t
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