How to Ruin My Teenage Life by Simone Elkeles

Abercrombie model come to life. Nathan is the opposite. He looks as awkward as he acts and doesn’t even care that he’s a loner. Avi has a bunch of loyal friends.
    Avi and I fell for each other after hating each other for the better part of the summer. In the beginning, we fought every time we came within two feet of each other. When he kissed me, it was as explosive as the fighting and more incredible than any kiss I’d ever had.
    I’m sure kissing Nathan would be nothing like kissing Avi.
    I put my hands on either side of my head and squeeze my eyes shut. How can I think about kissing Nathan? Eww.
    Okay, I’ll admit he has unique green eyes. They have little specks of brown and gold in them, and when he looks at me I find myself searching for those specks. A guy like that shouldn’t have such cool eyes.
    â€œHey, Amy, you okay?”
    It’s Jessica. I don’t feel like talking right now, even to my best friend. I’m kind of fine being depressed all by myself. “I’m fine.”
    â€œYou think the youth group is weak sauce, don’t you? I’m sorry I made you—”
    â€œIt’s not weak sauce.”
    â€œThen why are you all mopey?” My best friend rolls her eyes at me, if you can believe it. “Seriously, Amy, you’re gonna have to get over Avi. You’ve been acting like a total recluse lately and it’s getting on everyone’s nerves, especially mine. Can’t you move on? I guarantee Avi’s not moping around, making his friends and everyone else around him miserable.”
    I stand here wide-eyed, not believing for a second Jessica just bitched me out. She’s never done this before. We’ve always supported each other through guys and zits and parents and school. “I guess it’s too much to ask for my best friend to support me when I need it the most,” I say.
    â€œYou know what, Amy? I was thinking the same thing,” she says, then stomps back to the sukkah -building activity.
    What the hell was that all about? I’m too confused to think right now. All I want to do is go home. What’s worse is that I’m at the mercy of Jessica because she drove me here.
    Stomping back to my group, I plop myself down next to Wes from Lickity Split again.
    â€œAmy, you just sat on a banana,” Wes informs me, then bursts out laughing. Nikki and the rest of my group follow. All eyes are watching to see what I’m going to do next.
    I could cry—that wouldn’t take too much effort. In fact, I can feel a waterfall forming behind my eyelids.
    Closing my eyes, my brain focuses on the wet, gushy mush soaking the jeans I spent over a half hour picking out. And on Jessica’s tirade. And on my mom’s pregnancy. And on Avi and Nathan and my dad’s date disaster. And Mutt’s insatiable addiction to sniffing everyone’s crotch.
    In case you haven’t noticed, my teenage life is officially ruined.

12
    Rabbi Glassman said he realized he wanted to study to be a rabbi when he was in high school.
To be honest, I think God chose him to be a rabbi
instead of the other way around.
He’s too unbiased and wise to be a regular person
    Yes, I had to last the rest of the night with wet, sticky banana-encrusted jeans. And no, Jessica and I still aren’t talking. Miranda is, though.
    â€œThat was so much fun, wasn’t it?” Miranda says as we get into Jessica’s car at the end of the night. I put down a plastic bag before I sit in the back seat while the engine is warming up.
    Jessica grunts and I say, “Yeah. Great fun.” I love being laughed at by an entire group of high schoolers and smelling like baby food. Where can I sign up for the next meeting?
    â€œSorry about your pants,” Miranda says from the front passenger seat. “I’m glad you came, though. There’s not many kids from CA here.”
    â€œWe don’t necessarily have a huge Jewish