Holt's Holding part two (The Holt's Series) by a dagmara Page B

from him. I
couldn’t watch him leave.
    Charlie walked out of my room with what was left of me…the
last part of my heart.
    Sebastian came in with the doctor, then allowed them to do
a brief checkup and a rundown of what happened, and what I should expect
regarding recovery. The tears now barren and unable to be produced, as my eyes
stung in pain.
    Sebastian stayed through it all, even offering to take me
home as I accepted. He called Brady as I felt the need to let him be. Brady had
been caring for me for the past three months and he deserved a reprieve from my
problems.
    As Sebastian and I pulled up to my house I knew Charlie
would not be here. I knew he was gone.
    Sebastian helped me inside and onto my sofa.
    “Do you want company?” his words and offer were kind,
sincere and sympathetic.
    “I’ll be ok” I responded flatly, as I couldn’t muster any
emotions.
    “I don’t feel right about leaving you like this” he
breathed out in concern.
    “Like how? I’ve been alone for a long time Sebastian…I’m
use to the solitude, perhaps it’s how life was always designed for me.”
    “Don’t go there Lillian…don’t let this close you off
permanently.” he spoke as if he understood.
    “Thank you for being here and for the ride home…but I need
some time Sebastian.”
    “Ok…but I don’t feel right about leaving you.”
    “Please…I appreciate your concern …I truly do…I will be
fine.”
    “Ok.” He kissed me on the cheek and slowly rose up from me.
    I heard him leave closing the door behind him.
    Cuddled into the sofa, I just sat there for hours…I was
numb the tears fell randomly throughout; on their own.
    I just sat thru the darkness until the morning sun made its
way into the blue sky. I just sat watching out in the world unable to
understand all that had happened.
    I had no concept of time. When Sam came in, I was so zoned
out, I heard nothing of what she said. My gaze still locked, staring through the
windows…releasing a tear here and there. I was unsure what I was crying for
most…the baby I lost or Charlie. Nana came next, then Brady…my house was
filling up with people, yet I could not move or acknowledge them…I just
couldn’t get my mind and body to connect.
    It would be a full 48 hours before I form words or speak to
anyone.
    Christmas would come and go and New Year’s was fast
approaching.
    By this point, I could at least function. The routine was
simple eat, sit, stare, eat, sleep…for days, I went like this.
    Brady, Sam and Nana took shifts staying with me.  

Chapter 6

 
    I woke up like normal, numb. Moving myself to the kitchen,
I made myself a cup of coffee and moved to my normal spot on the sofa.
    Nana in the kitchen was prepping breakfast; when the door
bell rung.
    I didn’t bother and just sat and stared.
    I heard her answer and shut the door.
    “Lillian, Niemen Marcus just sent over your dress for the
charity ball tonight. It’s beautiful dear.”
    “That’s nice nana” I sipped my coffee.
    Then it registered slowly…I was the chairperson of the
ball…it was a charity ball I organized every year to benefit children who were
autistic…it was my mother’s. I had always helped her organize and fund raise
and after her death, I took over in her place as a tribute to her.
    Placing my mug on the coffee table, I stood to my feet and
turned to Nana.
    She cried looking at me.
    “It is lovely isn’t it” I looked to her then the dress she
held…my tears from nowhere fell.
    “Yes it is…just like you Lilly”, she was crying, as I
finally came back to the living.
    “I’m sorry Nana”
    “For what my dear…your heart has been broken…you have
nothing to be apologizing for!”
    “Will it ever stopping hurting Nana?”
    “Oh Lilly…yes…it will. When you’re ready it will stop
hurting”
    I walked to her as she placed the garment bag holding the
dress on the sofa and took me into her arms.
    “I lost my baby Nana,” I cried into her hold… “I lost