Holt's Holding part two (The Holt's Series) by a dagmara Page A

need him…I think the two of you have
always needed the other…don’t let go of that.” Sebastian spoke into my hair,
offering a kiss then a sigh.   I was
beyond shocked.   This was not what I
would have expected from Sebastian.   Where was the shrewd, imposing man I remembered?
    “Well, I see why you wanted me to take a walk” Charlie’s
voice was clipped.
    “Not what you think Charlie” Sebastian let me go and stood
up.
    I turned to Charlie, whom looked in a blaze of jealousy.
    “Charlie” I spoke thru a strained voice.
    He looked down at me and I saw his rage.
    “Charlie…” I repeated.
    “Do you love him?” Charlie sternly accused.
    “No Charlie…I love you and you know it!”   Of course, there would always be that
doubt.   I had slept with Sebastian.   That would forever plague me.
    “I’m sorry” he closed his eyes as a single tear fell down
his face. “I’m sorry this is not what you need of me and I’m being a jealous
ass.”
    “Come here Charlie,” I whispered
    “I’ll go fetch the doctor, and see when you can go home
Lillian” Sebastian offered as he walked around my bed and placed a hand on
Charlie’s shoulder.
    “Thank you Sebastian.” My eyes never moved from Charlie as
Sebastian left the room.
    He was still in his draw sting pants, tennis shoes and a
sweatshirt. He looked so much younger dressed like this. I saw the blood stains
on his pants, now dark and crimson.
    “I’m so sorry Lilly…I’m so sorry” he repeated shaking his
head.
    I pursed my lips tight trying to hold my tears at bay. He
walked over and it seemed like he was afraid to touch me.
    “They said the placenta was underdeveloped and had
separated…they couldn’t do anything the pregnancy was too early and she
wouldn’t have survived,…they said you can have another after you heal that is
if you want to.”
    His words were telling... “If I wanted to” not us. I could
help but wonder if this was the beginning of the end for him and me.
    “Are we over Charlie?” I couldn’t look at him…for I knew if
he lied to me, I would see it in his face…and for once, I didn’t want to know
what was truth or a lie. I just needed his answer.
    “You have no faith in me and don’t trust me Lilly…what does
that leave us? You can’t even look at me can you? Your hate for me will
resurface if it hasn’t already?”
    “Is that what you think? I. Love. You…whether you deserve
my love is another question entirely….I just lost our…yes our baby… What do you
want of me Charlie?   The pain and loss I
feel right now is something I just don’t know how to deal with.   This pain is something I’m not equipped to
handle at the moment and I need time.”
    “Your right Lilly…I’ve done nothing but bring you pain…this
is my fault…your heart is breaking because of me. Love will never be enough to
get past all that I’ve done will it?”
    He was running…I saw it in his eyes. He was leaving.
    He walked over and kissed me on the forehead. And my heart
broke a thousand times more…I was way too familiar with that gesture. I knew
this would be the last time I would see him… until the takeover. He and I were
done…we hadn’t even really started and we were done like that.
    “I’m gonna call Brady and update him…”
    “Don’t go Charlie” my voice was broken “Please don’t go
Charlie”
    He moved from the bed.
    I rose up, as he walked away. I pulled myself from the bed
grabbing my IV making my way to his back.
    “Please don’t” I was begging and realized how much I needed
him to stay.
    He turned and held me… “I love you Lillian…always” lifting
me up he placed me back in the bed… “Always…but you deserve better than me…you
always did. My father was right…I’m not worthy of you”
    He kissed my lips with all his emotion and pulled away
walking from my room.
    The pain was worse than what I had experience this
morning…the tears were uncontrolled as I curled up facing away