Hollywood by Charles Bukowski

sodas.
    “You’re all bullheads,” said Sarah. “Surely something can be worked out.”
    But everything was just as it was in the beginning. Nobody gave way. And I had no ideas. I couldn’t break the deadlock.
    We even began talking about other things. We told various funny stories in turn. The drinks went round and round.
    Toward the end, I don’t remember who was telling the story, but it got to Mack Austin. It struck him, health food sodas and all. He fell backwards laughing loudly. His gold chains bounced up and down.
    Then he pulled himself together.
    Soon after that, it was time to part. Tom and Mack had to leave. We said our goodbyes. After their car backed down the drive Jon looked at me:
    “Did you hear that fake laugh? Did you see how those fucking gold chains bounced up and down on his neck? What was he laughing about? Did you see all those fucking gold chains?”
    “Yeah, I saw them,” I said.
    “He was nervous,” said Sarah. “He was the only one who wasn’t drinking. Have you ever been in a roomful of drunks when you aren’t drinking?”
    “No,” I said.
    “Listen,” Jon asked me, “can I use your phone?”
    “Sure...”
    “I must phone Paris! Now!”
    “What?”
    “Don’t worry, I will call collect. I want to talk to my lawyer. It’s about an addition to my will...”
    “Go ahead.”
    Jon walked to the phone and began making arrangements for a connection. I walked over and refilled his glass. Then I came back.
    “It’s awful,” said Sarah, “there goes the movie.”
    “Well, almost something is better than nothing.”
    “Is it?”
    “Come to think of it, I’m not so sure...”

    Then Jon had his connection. He’d had more than a few drinks and was excited. He was easily heard:
    “PAUL! YES, IT’S JON PINCHOT! YES, IT IS URGENT! I WANT AN ADDITION TO MY WILL! ARE YOU READY? YES, I’LL WAIT!”
    Jon looked over at us.
    “This is very important...”
    Then:
    “YES, PAUL! THERE IS THIS MOVIE. I HAVE CONTROL. IT IS CALLED THE DANCE OF JIM BEAM , WRITTEN BY HENRY CHINASKI! VERY WELL, GET THIS DOWN! IN CASE OF MY DEATH THIS MOVIE IS NEVER TO BE DIRECTED BY MACK AUSTIN! THIS MOVIE CAN BE DIRECTED BY ANYBODY ON THIS EARTH EXCEPT MACK AUSTIN! DO YOU HAVE THAT, PAUL? YES, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, PAUL. YES, I AM WELL. HOW IS YOUR HEALTH? ALL RIGHT, ANYBODY BUT MACK AUSTIN! THANK YOU SO MUCH, PAUL! GOODNIGHT, GOODNIGHT!”
    After that, we had one more drink together. Then Jon had to go. He stopped at the door.
    “Did you hear that fake laugh? Did you see those gold chains bounce?”
    “Yes, Jon. . .”
    Then he was gone and that night was over. We went out to call the cats. We had 5 cats and we couldn’t sleep until all 5 cats were in the house.
    The neighbors heard us calling those cats late each night or early in the morning. We had nice neighbors. And those 5 cats each took their damned time coming in.

19

    3 or 4 days later Jon was on the phone.
    “Jack Bledsoe has read the screenplay and he likes it, he wants to act in it. I’ve been trying to get him to come see you but he claims he doesn’t want to be overwhelmed by you. He says you must come see him.”
    “Will that overwhelm him less?”
    “I guess that’s what he thinks.”
    “You think he can play the part?”
    “Oh yes, he’s from the streets ! He once sold chestnuts in the streets! He’s from New York!”
    “I’ve seen some of his films...”
    “Well, what do you think?”
    “Maybe...Listen, he’s got to stop smiling all the time when he doesn’t know what else to do. And he’s got to stop beating refrigerators with his fists. And he’s got to stop that New York strut where they walk like they’ve got a banana up their ass.”
    “He used to be a boxer, this Jack Bledsoe...”
    “Shit, we all used to be boxers...”
    “He can do the part, trust me...”
    “Jon, he can’t be New York . This main character is a California boy. California boys are laid back, in the woodwork. They don’t come rushing