His Robot Girlfriend by Wesley Allison

to a room showcasing all the
props from the Klingon episodes. This led into the “Klingon Raid”
ride. This ride simulated being teleported onto the Starship
Enterprise and then a ride on a shuttle craft through a Klingon
battle. Mike thought it was quite well done. Then he and Patience
continued on through the room dedicated to the Borg.
    “ I don’t care for the
Borg,” said Patience warily, looking at the mannequins dressed up
as cyborgs.
    “ Yes, well, you’re not
supposed to like them. They’re the bad guys.
    “ I don’t want to go on this
ride.”
    “ Alright,” said Mike. “You
don’t have to. You can wait for me at the exit.”
    “ I don’t want you to go on
it either,” she said, frowning.
    “ I don’t think I’ve ever
seen your face look like that? I might think you were the evil
double of Patience.”
    “ There is no evil double of
Patience. I am Patience and I am for you. This ride is anti-robot.
It is making you think that there is something wrong with
me.”
    Mike looked at Patience. “Alright,” he said,
taking the slow steady voice he reserved for mad dogs and crazy
people. “We won’t ride this ride. We’re going to leave here and go
down to the promenade, where there won’t be any Borg.”
    Patience nodded her head in understanding.
“We could go on the Vulcan ride or the Gorn ride.”
    “ I think we’ve had enough
rides for the day, anyway. It kind of made me sick to my
stomach.”
    Mike took his robot girlfriend’s hand and led
her back out the way they had come in, taking a right as they
exited to step into the life-sized replica of Deep Space Nine’s
promenade deck, filled with gift shops and Quark’s bar. Once there,
Mike pulled Patience to the side of the hallway next to a
replicator replica.
    “ Are you
alright?”
    “ Yes.”
    “ Are you sure?” He looked
into her eyes, and she looked back as if nothing had happened.
“You’re okay now?”
    Patience nodded.
    “ What was that all
about?”
    “ I don’t like the
Borg.”
    “ I guess not.
    “ Why don’t we go have
something to eat?” said Mike, eyeing the entrance to Quark’s
bar.
    Patience nodded again.
    They entered and were seated by a very short
man dressed as a Farengi.
    “ Enjoy your meal,
Hoo-mahn,” he said, handing each of them a menu.
    “ Thanks,” said
Mike.
    Mike looked at the menu with one eye and at
Patience with the other. She was looking around with wide eyes. He
didn’t know if that was because of the interesting things to look
at, of which there were many, or an impending recurrence of her
apparent anxiety. For his part, Mike was realizing that he was
pretty hungry and he thought he could really go for a burger. He
always enjoyed a good diner burger and he had been eschewing fast
food during the past two weeks as he tried to lose weight. Then he
noticed the names of the food. He ended up ordering a chicken
quesadilla called a “saucer section” and an order of Holy (onion)
Rings of Betazed. Under the circumstances, there was no way he was
going to order a cheeseBorger. Patience had a bottle of water. As
Mike was enjoying his meal, a Klingon came by.
    “ Greetings human!” said the
Klingon. “It is a good day to die!”
    “ If you say so,” replied
Mike. He was still carefully watching Patience, who had not said
anything the entire time they had been in the
restaurant.
    Mike had finished eating and was paying his
check when the Farengi came back by. “You ridiculous hoo-mahns,
clothing your women!”
    “ He keeps me naked at
home,” said Patience.
    “ I bet he does,” said the
man in the Farengi costume, his voice losing all trace of his alien
accent.
    “ Hey, stay in character,”
said Mike.
    “ Uh, good luck at the Dabo
tables,” said the Farengi.
    Mike and Patience spent a few minutes looking
around the gift shops. Mike spent fifty dollars on a toy
communicator just like the one Captain Kirk used. There were quite
a few other nifty items that he would have liked, but