sit with the Captain either. He wanted our company so much last time that I thought we were being stalked. Do you have the room with the butler? My, not to be recommended – they get in the way awfully. Although they do make a fabulous Wallbanger. If you get my drift – fnar fnar.
But instead Frankie said, ‘Thirtieth? That’s amazing. This is our first. We’ve been planning it since we were at school together.’
Roz was gobsmacked. Boy, Francesca Carnevale had changed!
‘Evening, everyone,’ came the chirpy voice of a beautiful Filipino woman with cascading black hair tied back in a pony-tail, very much like Frankie’s used to be. ‘I’m Angel, your wine steward for this cruise. Would you like to order some drinks or something from the wine list?’
‘Blimey,’ said Olive. ‘We’ve got Jesus cleaning the room and an Angel bringing us drinks.’
‘I’m just waiting to see Saint Peter on port security,’ giggled Roz.
It turned out that it was Royston and Stella’s first cruise on the Mermaidia , so Eric looked pleased that he was the leading authority on the ship.
Ven took some almond and pistachio bread from the basket and buttered it liberally. The menu looked fabulous. So far she had narrowed her choice of main courses down to four.
‘If you don’t like what’s on the menu,’ said Irene, reaching a talon-nailed finger over the top of Ven’s menu and pointing to the lefthand side, ‘there’s always chicken, steak and salmon available.’
‘That’s me then, a sirloin,’ said Roz, snapping her menu shut.
‘You always have steak when we go for a meal!’ said Ven.
‘That’s because I like it,’ explained Roz with strained patience. ‘Soup, steak and a coffee, that’ll do me just fine. I’m a plain eater, as you know. At the end of the day, it’s only fuel.’
‘You never used to think like that,’ said Frankie. ‘You used to love your food.’
‘People change,’ replied Roz, trying to bat away the images attacking her brain of sitting at the Carnevales’ dinner-table and stuffing herself daft on pasta.
‘Well, I’m being adventurous,’ Olive decided. ‘I’ve never had John Dory so I’m trying that.’
‘If you don’t like it, they’ll bring you something else, you know,’ Royston jumped in. ‘You can afford to experiment on a ship, that’s what I always say.’
‘That sounds far too good to be true,’ said Frankie. ‘In that case then, I’ll have John Dory too.’
Roz bit back the snide comment about to rise in her throat that John Dory was a fish, not a man – was Frankie aware of that?
‘Going to the show this evening?’ asked Eric. ‘First one is usually a very jolly affair. Lovely theatre on this ship, but I advise you to get there by half past eight for a good seat.’
‘They’ve got a theatre on the ship?’ gasped Olive.
‘They’ve got two, actually. Broadway and Flamenco – which admittedly is half-nightclub, half-theatre. And there will be some sort of a show at each one every night,’ said Eric. ‘Didn’t you see the Mermaidia Today brochure in the post-slot outside your cabin door? It’ll tell you everything that’s happening on the ship tonight, and you’ll get another one before you go to bed about what’s going on tomorrow. Oh, and in case you didn’t know, the dress code for dinner is always formal on the second night. So if you ladies want to get your hair done, you’d better book up early because they’ll be busy in the salon.’
Two theatres! Olive was open-mouthed with astonishment for the three-hundredth time since she came aboard. Three-hundredth-and-one, when Ven clicked her fingers as she announced to her friends, ‘Ah well, I might as well tell you, we’re all booked in at the spa tomorrow. Massage and then a hairdo and make-up.’ She tagged on a whisper for the other three alone. ‘Part of the package,’ and tapped the side of her nose.
‘You should get some highlights, Olive. Go platinum like me.’
But instead Frankie said, ‘Thirtieth? That’s amazing. This is our first. We’ve been planning it since we were at school together.’
Roz was gobsmacked. Boy, Francesca Carnevale had changed!
‘Evening, everyone,’ came the chirpy voice of a beautiful Filipino woman with cascading black hair tied back in a pony-tail, very much like Frankie’s used to be. ‘I’m Angel, your wine steward for this cruise. Would you like to order some drinks or something from the wine list?’
‘Blimey,’ said Olive. ‘We’ve got Jesus cleaning the room and an Angel bringing us drinks.’
‘I’m just waiting to see Saint Peter on port security,’ giggled Roz.
It turned out that it was Royston and Stella’s first cruise on the Mermaidia , so Eric looked pleased that he was the leading authority on the ship.
Ven took some almond and pistachio bread from the basket and buttered it liberally. The menu looked fabulous. So far she had narrowed her choice of main courses down to four.
‘If you don’t like what’s on the menu,’ said Irene, reaching a talon-nailed finger over the top of Ven’s menu and pointing to the lefthand side, ‘there’s always chicken, steak and salmon available.’
‘That’s me then, a sirloin,’ said Roz, snapping her menu shut.
‘You always have steak when we go for a meal!’ said Ven.
‘That’s because I like it,’ explained Roz with strained patience. ‘Soup, steak and a coffee, that’ll do me just fine. I’m a plain eater, as you know. At the end of the day, it’s only fuel.’
‘You never used to think like that,’ said Frankie. ‘You used to love your food.’
‘People change,’ replied Roz, trying to bat away the images attacking her brain of sitting at the Carnevales’ dinner-table and stuffing herself daft on pasta.
‘Well, I’m being adventurous,’ Olive decided. ‘I’ve never had John Dory so I’m trying that.’
‘If you don’t like it, they’ll bring you something else, you know,’ Royston jumped in. ‘You can afford to experiment on a ship, that’s what I always say.’
‘That sounds far too good to be true,’ said Frankie. ‘In that case then, I’ll have John Dory too.’
Roz bit back the snide comment about to rise in her throat that John Dory was a fish, not a man – was Frankie aware of that?
‘Going to the show this evening?’ asked Eric. ‘First one is usually a very jolly affair. Lovely theatre on this ship, but I advise you to get there by half past eight for a good seat.’
‘They’ve got a theatre on the ship?’ gasped Olive.
‘They’ve got two, actually. Broadway and Flamenco – which admittedly is half-nightclub, half-theatre. And there will be some sort of a show at each one every night,’ said Eric. ‘Didn’t you see the Mermaidia Today brochure in the post-slot outside your cabin door? It’ll tell you everything that’s happening on the ship tonight, and you’ll get another one before you go to bed about what’s going on tomorrow. Oh, and in case you didn’t know, the dress code for dinner is always formal on the second night. So if you ladies want to get your hair done, you’d better book up early because they’ll be busy in the salon.’
Two theatres! Olive was open-mouthed with astonishment for the three-hundredth time since she came aboard. Three-hundredth-and-one, when Ven clicked her fingers as she announced to her friends, ‘Ah well, I might as well tell you, we’re all booked in at the spa tomorrow. Massage and then a hairdo and make-up.’ She tagged on a whisper for the other three alone. ‘Part of the package,’ and tapped the side of her nose.
‘You should get some highlights, Olive. Go platinum like me.’
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