Hell
wouldn’t have made any material difference.
    On the subject
of sentence, Nick Purnell is more confident, as
several leading members of the Bar have made it clear that they consider four
years to be not only harsh, but unjust. And the public seem to be universally
in agreement with the professionals. Reduction of sentence can make a great
difference, because any conviction of four years or more requires a decision by
the Parole Board before you can be set free. Any sentence of less than four
years, even by one day, means you are automatically released after serving half
your sentence, assuming you’ve been a model prisoner. You’re also eligible for
tagging, which knocks off another two months, when you are restricted to your
‘chosen place of residence’ between the hours of seven pm and seven am the
following morning. *
    We go on to
discuss whether this is the right time to issue a writ against Emma Nicholson
for hinting that the millions of pounds I helped raise for the Kurds didn’t
reach them, with the twisted implication that some of the money must therefore
have ended up in my pocket. Nick points out that Sir Nicholas Young, the Chief
Executive of the Red Cross, has come to my defence , and even the Evening Standard is saying I have no
case to answer. Alex tells me that several articles are now being written in
support of my position, including one by Trevor Kavanagh in the Sun . He also points out that the Daily Telegraph had a tilt at Max
Hastings.
    I tell Nick
that I want to issue a writ against Ted Francis to recover the £12,000 I loaned
him, and for claiming that over twenty years ago he’d seen a Nigerian
prostitute climbing out of my bedroom window.
    This is quite
an achievement as Francis and I stayed at different hotels and my room was on
the top floor. I do hope the poor girl was a member of the Lagos mountain
rescue team.
    My legal team understand my anger, but want to wait until the dust
has settled. I reluctantly agree, but remain unconvinced. I can’t help
remembering that when I complained to Nick about Mr Justice Potts’s prejudiced attitude during the pre-trial hearings and the trial
itself, he advised me against raising the matter with the judge in chambers,
saying it would only exacerbate the problem.
    On the hour I
leave them to return to their world, while I am escorted back to mine.
    12 noon I take one look at what they’re
offering at the hotplate for lunch, and return to my cell with an empty plastic
plate. I add a packet of crisps to my opened tin of Spam, before pouring myself
a mug of cranberry juice topped up with Highland Spring. My supplies are
already running low.
2.00 pm
    Mr Weedon comes to my cell to let
me know that I have a personal visit at three o’clock.
    ‘Who?’ I enquire.
    He checks his
list. ‘William and James Archer.’
    I am about to
suggest it might have been more considerate of someone to warn me yesterday
rather than tell me a few minutes before my sons are due to arrive. However, as Mr Highland has already threatened to place me on
report for such insolence, I decide to keep my counsel.
3.00 pm
    Over eighty
prisoners from all four blocks are streaming towards the visitors’ area. On the
long walk to the other side of the building, I come across some inmates from my
short stay on House Block Three. It’s rather like meeting up with old school
chums. ‘How are you?’ ‘What have you been up to?’ ‘Have you met up with…?’ When
we arrive in the waiting area, the search is far more rigorous than usual. Del
Boy had already warned me that this is the one time the staff are nervous about
the transfer of money, drugs, blades, knives, even guns, and anything else that
might be passed from a relation or family friend on to a prisoner. I am pleased
to discover that my own search is fairly cursory.
    After the
search, I am asked to place a yellow sash over my shoulder so I look like a
child about to go on a bike ride. This is to indicate that I’m a

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