Held by Edeet Ravel Page B

Yuck!”
    “I think they avoid people,” he said.
    “Oh no, no, no, you’re wrong! Very wrong. You aren’t up on your cockroach information at all. My granddad lived in Cyprus when he was young, and he said the cockroaches traveled all over his face at night.”
    “That must have been quite an infestation.”
    I stood up, yawned again, and leaned slightly against his arm. Not in any serious way—more the way you’d lean on someone at a party, just for fun. He was much taller than me—I only reached the top of his shoulder blades.
    He put down the dish he was washing, dried his hands, and moved away from me.
    He carried the washed dishes to the table and stacked them on a towel. Then he turned to me. “Once and for all, this has to end.”
    “You’re so serious about everything. Can’t you relax a little?”
    “This isn’t an easy situation for you or for me. It would be strange if I felt relaxed about it.”
    “Whatever,” I sulked.
    “You aren’t yourself. People want to feel safe and in control, so they identify with the aggressor in their lives—I’m sure you can see that. You’re acting out of loneliness and denial.”
    “Denial? Denial about what? You think I can actually forget that I’m cooped up in here all day like a caged animal!”
    “Denial about my role in your life. It’s true that I’m doing what I can to make things easier for you, but I’m the one who’s locked you up here in the first place.”
    “You’re so patronizing,” I repeated.
    “I’m only trying to explain.”
    “It’s the appearance of exploitation that worries you?” I asked.
    “Not the appearance, the reality.”
    “It would look like you were taking advantage of me?”
    “It would look that way and it would be that way,” he said.
    It was the second time he was admitting that he was attracted to me. He just didn’t think it was right to act on those feelings.
    “Not if I’m the one deciding,” I pointed out.
    He said, “There must be equality in a partnership. We aren’t equals now. You’re angry with me, but anger is hard to sustain, so you transform it into something else. Think about it logically. You don’t know anything about me, only that I’ve taken away your freedom.”
    “Okay, okay. I get the point.”
    “You have to force yourself to be logical.”
    “You sound like Spock. Do you know Star Trek ?”
    “Yes.”
    I stared at him. I was partly embarrassed by the whole situation, partly glad that we were really talking. I said, “Logically, I feel what I feel. And what I feel is that I love you.”
    I had no idea I was going to say those words, and they shocked me as much as they shocked him. I could tell he was upset, though he tried not show it.
    I turned away from him in confusion. I didn’t know why I’d spoken out that way, or whether I regretted it. But I did know that the words I’d said were true. I loved him.
    He stood up. “If you continue on this track I won’t stay here. I’ll bring you the things you need and go.”
    “Fine!” I snapped again. I was hurt, and also angry. He was taking even the little control I had away from me. “You make all the decisions here, excuse me for forgetting that! Do whatever you want. I don’t care if you stay or not. I don’t care if I never see you again!”
    “Do you want to go out for some fresh air before I leave?”
    “Yes,” I said crossly. “Yes, of course I want to go outside. Sorry I have to bother you with my presence.”
    He scrounged around in one of the bags and handed me a large white shawl, oversized sunglasses, and a black hat with a floppy rim—probably the one they’d made me wear when I was abducted. “Pull the hat down low, please,” he instructed, “and wrap yourself in the shawl. And you must promise not to give me a hard time.”
    “So I’m not allowed to shout help at the top of my lungs?”
    “I’m glad you haven’t lost your sense of humor.”
    We stepped out of the warehouse, taking the two