Empathy by Sarah Schulman

because of your mother. You left me because you won’t stay in the relationship for the good and the bad.
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    To Doc, this was a litany of diversions. Why would this lady in leather project all of her imagined deficiencies onto a situation where all she really needed to do was be quiet? Apparently she preferred to be completely despised over simply paying attention. What was she afraid to hear? What was it?
    Â 
    Doc proposed another alternative for this scenario.
    Â 
    DOC
    I’m leaving you because you don’t listen.
    Â 
    THE WOMAN IN WHITE LEATHER
    (Silence.)
    Â 
    Silence is the constructive response when being told you don’t listen.
    Â 
    ( Silence .)
    Â 
    Then Doc would propose.

    WOMAN IN WHITE LEATHER
    I’m sorry I didn’t listen.
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    Then she would simply do it. She would let Doc say every word without being rushed. She would let him have a long time to say it. She would not be planning her rebuttal all along. She would ask clarifying questions, not trick ones. But she would only be able to do that if she really wanted to know. If she didn’t really want to know it wasn’t love. If it was, she would have listened and then she and Doc could stay together.

Chapter Fourteen
    â€œHappy Birthday,” he said to Anna O., but she didn’t look very happy.
    â€œI just came from my friend Jack’s memorial service,” she said.
    â€œHow was it?”
    â€œIt was okay. Actually, I really had to smile because Jack was such a control queen that he planned how we would memorialize him . In fact there was even a moment when we had to sit and listen to Jack’s favorite songs. He made us listen to Steely Dan.”
    â€œWhat food did he pick?”
    â€œCoffee and danish. When his mother stood up to speak I was really worried because that is everybody’s nightmare - to die and your mother has the last word. But actually, it turned out that she really knew him. Mostly at these services the parent never knew their child.”
    â€œWhat are you remembering about him right now?”
    â€œYou know, Jack really did not want to give up fucking. And when he decided to give it up he was very, very sad. He had let someone fuck him without a condom and they had talked about it later for an hour and a half. Each one saying that it was the other one’s responsibility. Jack said that because he was being fucked, he wanted to give over completely and leave the other guy in charge. The other guy said that because Jack was the one taking it, it was Jack’s responsibility to protect himself. After that Jack gave up fucking. I think the hardest sex act in the world to live without would be oral sex. Doing it, I mean. What about for you, Doc?”

    â€œKissing.”
    â€œWell, if kissing spread AIDS we would all jump off the cliff. What’s that, a bomb?”
    â€œNo, Anna, it’s your birthday present. Happy birthday.”
    It was wrapped and thoughtful. It made her happy. Doc could tell. Presents make people happy if they are given with caring. They require some forethought.
    â€œOh, Torah Personality Cards, my favorite.”
    â€œThey’re pictures of famous Torah scholars,” he explained. “Hasidic boys trade them like baseball cards … probably.”
    Then they headed down into the subway and had a seat. Well, it wasn’t quite as easy as all that. By the street entrance to the train there were seven people asking for money. There were people standing by the token line asking for money. There were people by turnstiles asking for money. Once through the turnstiles, there were people on the platform asleep or staring, urinating and stinking of rotting flesh. When the train came and Doc and Anna took their seats, it was the Motel A Train. The A had the longest route in the system and so the guests can take the longest naps.
    While they were sitting, a number of people came by selling Street News , but none of the