balcony under the stars... There were plenty of opportunities and yet you never even tried.”
Immediately I saw a flicker of something in Brandon’s eyes and he opened his mouth to speak.
I cut him off, deciding that beating him to the point might be less painful.
“Is it because I’m not pretty enough?” I asked him in a small voice, my chest tightening as I braced myself for an answer I might not like. “It is, isn’t it?”
“What on earth are you talking about?” Brandon asked. “This entire conversation is absurd. But for the record, I think you are absolutely gorgeous, inside and out. And I wanted to kiss you, believe me. I want to kiss you all the time. Every time I see you, I want to kiss you.”
“Then why don’t you?”
He pressed his lips together in an expression of discontent. “I didn’t want to be that guy who swoops in and takes advantage of someone who’s in a vulnerable position. I didn’t want to be your rebound,” he explained, lowering his head to avoid making eye contact with me. “And, well...”
“What? Say it.”
He finally met my gaze. “Are you through with Carl?” he asked. “Is it really over? Wait – before you say anything, just hear me out. Even if you don’t want to be with me...even if you decide you want something – or someone – completely different, just please tell me you’re not going to go back to that asshole.”
“I’m not,” I said, making my mind up once and for all right then and there.
Brandon lit up at my words. “You mean it?”
“I’m done with Carl,” I assured him, my voice firm and strong sounding. “I will call him right this minute to tell him I want my stuff, if that’s what it will take to get you to believe me. Give me a phone.”
“Hang on,” Brandon said, repositioning himself beneath our pillow fort so that he was right next to me. “There’s something I want to do first.”
And with that, he leaned in and kissed me. It was the sweetest, gentlest first kiss I’d ever had, full of promise and tenderness. When his lips grazed mine it not only confirmed my theory that Brandon was indeed a very good kisser – it also made me melt inside.
But a little voice in my head cautioned me that no matter how good it felt in that moment, what was blossoming between the two of us wouldn’t last. It couldn’t last. Pretty soon it was all going to fall apart, crashing and burning as quickly as it had taken off. Everything always did.
Chapter 10
Was it cynicism or intuition that made me think Brandon and I would never work out?
It barely mattered. All that mattered was the way I completely froze the following night when we found ourselves in a posh hotel room after the band’s show. Brandon had gotten me my own room, but had come over to watch a movie with me.
But pretty soon watching the movie had turned into cuddling on the bed. It felt nice to be held. It was what I’d been aching for. It was what I needed. The kissing felt nice too, and the more we did it, the more passionate it became.
Then Brandon’s hand slipped under my shirt.
I immediately leapt off the bed, reacting as though I had been burned.
Brandon stood up too. “Did I do something wrong?” he asked, clearly surprised by my reaction.
“No. Yes. No,” I told him, struggling to figure out a way to explain what had occurred. The truth was that I desperately wanted Brandon to touch me. I wanted to feel his hands all over me, caressing my body, sliding over my skin...
But then I thought about the disgusting mess I’d made of my body and was immediately sent into a panic. Carl had made no attempt to hide his negative opinion about the way I looked, whether it was with or without clothes on. In fact, he had at times been so cruel that I had come to dread sex, constantly fearing it would be yet another exercise in humiliation and degradation.
And let’s face it – Brandon
Immediately I saw a flicker of something in Brandon’s eyes and he opened his mouth to speak.
I cut him off, deciding that beating him to the point might be less painful.
“Is it because I’m not pretty enough?” I asked him in a small voice, my chest tightening as I braced myself for an answer I might not like. “It is, isn’t it?”
“What on earth are you talking about?” Brandon asked. “This entire conversation is absurd. But for the record, I think you are absolutely gorgeous, inside and out. And I wanted to kiss you, believe me. I want to kiss you all the time. Every time I see you, I want to kiss you.”
“Then why don’t you?”
He pressed his lips together in an expression of discontent. “I didn’t want to be that guy who swoops in and takes advantage of someone who’s in a vulnerable position. I didn’t want to be your rebound,” he explained, lowering his head to avoid making eye contact with me. “And, well...”
“What? Say it.”
He finally met my gaze. “Are you through with Carl?” he asked. “Is it really over? Wait – before you say anything, just hear me out. Even if you don’t want to be with me...even if you decide you want something – or someone – completely different, just please tell me you’re not going to go back to that asshole.”
“I’m not,” I said, making my mind up once and for all right then and there.
Brandon lit up at my words. “You mean it?”
“I’m done with Carl,” I assured him, my voice firm and strong sounding. “I will call him right this minute to tell him I want my stuff, if that’s what it will take to get you to believe me. Give me a phone.”
“Hang on,” Brandon said, repositioning himself beneath our pillow fort so that he was right next to me. “There’s something I want to do first.”
And with that, he leaned in and kissed me. It was the sweetest, gentlest first kiss I’d ever had, full of promise and tenderness. When his lips grazed mine it not only confirmed my theory that Brandon was indeed a very good kisser – it also made me melt inside.
But a little voice in my head cautioned me that no matter how good it felt in that moment, what was blossoming between the two of us wouldn’t last. It couldn’t last. Pretty soon it was all going to fall apart, crashing and burning as quickly as it had taken off. Everything always did.
Chapter 10
Was it cynicism or intuition that made me think Brandon and I would never work out?
It barely mattered. All that mattered was the way I completely froze the following night when we found ourselves in a posh hotel room after the band’s show. Brandon had gotten me my own room, but had come over to watch a movie with me.
But pretty soon watching the movie had turned into cuddling on the bed. It felt nice to be held. It was what I’d been aching for. It was what I needed. The kissing felt nice too, and the more we did it, the more passionate it became.
Then Brandon’s hand slipped under my shirt.
I immediately leapt off the bed, reacting as though I had been burned.
Brandon stood up too. “Did I do something wrong?” he asked, clearly surprised by my reaction.
“No. Yes. No,” I told him, struggling to figure out a way to explain what had occurred. The truth was that I desperately wanted Brandon to touch me. I wanted to feel his hands all over me, caressing my body, sliding over my skin...
But then I thought about the disgusting mess I’d made of my body and was immediately sent into a panic. Carl had made no attempt to hide his negative opinion about the way I looked, whether it was with or without clothes on. In fact, he had at times been so cruel that I had come to dread sex, constantly fearing it would be yet another exercise in humiliation and degradation.
And let’s face it – Brandon
Similar Books
