and grab potatoes then we can do this right.” He releases me to clean up the pieces of cut material and pushes them into a pile in the closet. “We’ll leave these for the girls… they love a project.” He claps his hands together. Grabbing the cut hair, he tosses them into the trashcan by my side table.
I sit here silent, staring at missed strings and strands that still decorate the floor.
“You okay?” He crouches down next to me.
My dad’s words loop in my head.
“I lost everything I never really had,” I whisper. “Who does that?” I give a breathy laugh while still focused on the floor. “How is one person so incapable of being loved?”
“You are incapable of the wrong kind of love, Mea. Someday, you will learn the difference, then this won’t matter.” He slides his fingers through my hair again. “I promise, it won’t always be like this. Someday you will realize what love really feels like.”
I look up at Josh. “Someday.” I whisper.
Planting a firm kiss on the top of my head, he stands up and with a quick pull, stands me up in front of him.
“Come now, Ms. Andrews, we have reservations, and if we’re late the food won’t get cooked.”
His hand slides to its spot on my back, and I truly believe it will all be alright.
When everything is done cooking, we spend the rest of the night eating and lying on the couch watching movies. Neither one of us daring to bring up the events of the evening. My head resting on Josh’s arm, I drift in and out of consciousness. The last thing I feel is him pulling the throw from the back of the couch over us and tucking me into his chest.
My heart begins to beat with a feeling I remember from when I was small, and I pray to God this time I get to hold onto this feeling for the rest of my life.
“Time has been transformed, and we have changed; it has advanced and set us in motion; it has unveiled its face, inspiring us with bewilderment and exhilaration.”
~ Kahlil Gibran
The next few weeks fly by as we prepare for finals and winter break. I haven’t heard anything from my family since I last saw my father which leads me to believe it’s all done.
“My last final is Tuesday at two… the plane leaves at five. I want to make it home before Mom and Dad get there.” Molly once again is going over Christmas plans as Morgan and I roll our eyes at her from across the breakfast table.
“I feel very rude about barging in on your family Christmas… Are you sure your parents won’t mind?” I wrinkle my nose at them.
With a huff Molly starts the same speech she has given me since we had made the plans for me to go home with them.
“Are you kidding me? They are so excited! My sister and her friend Jacob will be there for a couple days. Her roommate is going home for Christmas, but you will get to meet her too before that. They are amazing makeup artists!” She can’t help but gush over her sister whenever she is brought up.
“She isn’t a makeup artist yet,” Morgan begins. “She is still in school… however, she is amazing. She and Lex are at the top of their class.” Morgan gets swept into the excitement that is Sidney.
“How do you know that?” Molly gives her a questioning look.
“I like to keep track of her, she tends to get herself into trouble,” Morgan leans toward me to mumble.
I nod my understanding.
“Film, right? That is what she wants to do… like work on movies and stuff?” I ask, taking a long sip of my coffee.
The back door swings open letting a rush of freezing cold air in with the boys when they enter, empty coffee cups in hand. Grabbing plates from the stack, they fill them with breakfast and come to sit with us.
Josh rests a hand on my shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze as he puts his plate down next to me.
“Would you like more… anything, while I am up?” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Yes, but what if I become dependent on you and I forget how to do things for myself,” I
I sit here silent, staring at missed strings and strands that still decorate the floor.
“You okay?” He crouches down next to me.
My dad’s words loop in my head.
“I lost everything I never really had,” I whisper. “Who does that?” I give a breathy laugh while still focused on the floor. “How is one person so incapable of being loved?”
“You are incapable of the wrong kind of love, Mea. Someday, you will learn the difference, then this won’t matter.” He slides his fingers through my hair again. “I promise, it won’t always be like this. Someday you will realize what love really feels like.”
I look up at Josh. “Someday.” I whisper.
Planting a firm kiss on the top of my head, he stands up and with a quick pull, stands me up in front of him.
“Come now, Ms. Andrews, we have reservations, and if we’re late the food won’t get cooked.”
His hand slides to its spot on my back, and I truly believe it will all be alright.
When everything is done cooking, we spend the rest of the night eating and lying on the couch watching movies. Neither one of us daring to bring up the events of the evening. My head resting on Josh’s arm, I drift in and out of consciousness. The last thing I feel is him pulling the throw from the back of the couch over us and tucking me into his chest.
My heart begins to beat with a feeling I remember from when I was small, and I pray to God this time I get to hold onto this feeling for the rest of my life.
“Time has been transformed, and we have changed; it has advanced and set us in motion; it has unveiled its face, inspiring us with bewilderment and exhilaration.”
~ Kahlil Gibran
The next few weeks fly by as we prepare for finals and winter break. I haven’t heard anything from my family since I last saw my father which leads me to believe it’s all done.
“My last final is Tuesday at two… the plane leaves at five. I want to make it home before Mom and Dad get there.” Molly once again is going over Christmas plans as Morgan and I roll our eyes at her from across the breakfast table.
“I feel very rude about barging in on your family Christmas… Are you sure your parents won’t mind?” I wrinkle my nose at them.
With a huff Molly starts the same speech she has given me since we had made the plans for me to go home with them.
“Are you kidding me? They are so excited! My sister and her friend Jacob will be there for a couple days. Her roommate is going home for Christmas, but you will get to meet her too before that. They are amazing makeup artists!” She can’t help but gush over her sister whenever she is brought up.
“She isn’t a makeup artist yet,” Morgan begins. “She is still in school… however, she is amazing. She and Lex are at the top of their class.” Morgan gets swept into the excitement that is Sidney.
“How do you know that?” Molly gives her a questioning look.
“I like to keep track of her, she tends to get herself into trouble,” Morgan leans toward me to mumble.
I nod my understanding.
“Film, right? That is what she wants to do… like work on movies and stuff?” I ask, taking a long sip of my coffee.
The back door swings open letting a rush of freezing cold air in with the boys when they enter, empty coffee cups in hand. Grabbing plates from the stack, they fill them with breakfast and come to sit with us.
Josh rests a hand on my shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze as he puts his plate down next to me.
“Would you like more… anything, while I am up?” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Yes, but what if I become dependent on you and I forget how to do things for myself,” I
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