could order it online. So I ordered it. The bra arrived a week later and I dropped it off ASAP.
Ma calls me and announces that in the last week she has noticed that she is one cup size smaller . I say why didnât you tell me before I ordered the bra. She says she didnât know I would get it right away.
⢠   Item: Night frigging shirts
Ma has had to simplify her wardrobe because of all the discomfort. She wears nothing but these nightshirts so she can lie on the sofa with her legs in the air no matter who is coming over, like she used to do when she sunbathed by our pool. (Colette: This habit of exhibitionism is something I know you accuse me of inheriting from Ma, and youâre probably right. When the twins were born and Davidâs teenage niece Caeli was visiting, I used to parade around wearing nothing on top but a back brace and a nursing bra with the flaps open. So I donât really have a right to criticize, but the Triple X Ointment Ma uses for the burning and itching gets all over the nightshirts, and she walks around with stains on the back.)
When I pointed this out to her, Ma was really unhappy about it. She said it was hard to clean the only two she has often enough, and I offered to buy a couple more. This meant ordering from Vermont Country Store online. I called her while online and asked what size she wears because I can order them right now. She checked and said large . I said are you sure itâs not medium since youâve lost the weight during treatment, and remember the bra. No, itâs large. I order the nightshirts. Ma calls the next day and says she thinks she should get medium . I say why didnât you say that when I was ordering them. Oh, she says.
⢠   Item: Cancer tea
This is some stuff Photiniâs husband recommended, an herbal cleansing tea he uses for his lymphatic cancer or something. They want to give him chemo, but heâs been taking this nasty swill for years and seems to be hanging in there. This is the one holistic cure elixir Maâs asked for. Iâve indulged her, even though I had to run around buying all this stainless steel paraphernalia to brew it and strain it. I have to store it in dark glass bottles only , which believe me are nowhere to be found except in a liquor store. I went and bought three bottles of some expensive god-awful vodka because it comes in dark blue, and poured ALL OF IT down the sink so I could use them. I sterilize all this crap every couple of weeks when I make a new batch, and then we have a huge witchâs cauldron-type pot bubbling all day on the stove and nobody wants to linger in the kitchen. I really hope it helps, but still . . .
⢠   Item: Regular olive oil
She uses regular olive oil to make Holy and rub on anything that hurts thatâs not in the radiation zone, and to put in her religious lamps. If I get Extra Virgin, I have to go back and get the right kind. We have been through this. She literally goes through a gallon or two a week. She has just recently asked me for another of the large cans, and Iâd better take care of it right away.
⢠   Item: Kleenex
She likes the small boxes because they are prett y, but not if the box is decorated with bright colors. Neutral, please. She uses Kleenex when she is out of toilet paper. I ransacked the store for neutral boxes the other day and delivered a ton of them in beige stripes.
⢠Item: Toilet paper
Ma goes through reams of toilet paper, and I have tried about three different brands; each one hurts. She wants the kind from Superfresh. While I was gearing up to find out what that brand is, she called to say Josie just came and dropped some off. Yippee! Four days later, Ma says she has no toilet paper. By then, I know what Iâm looking for. So I am going to Superfresh, on a special trip, because Ma sounds pretty desperate. It is a toilet paper emergency right this second.
â¢
Ma calls me and announces that in the last week she has noticed that she is one cup size smaller . I say why didnât you tell me before I ordered the bra. She says she didnât know I would get it right away.
⢠   Item: Night frigging shirts
Ma has had to simplify her wardrobe because of all the discomfort. She wears nothing but these nightshirts so she can lie on the sofa with her legs in the air no matter who is coming over, like she used to do when she sunbathed by our pool. (Colette: This habit of exhibitionism is something I know you accuse me of inheriting from Ma, and youâre probably right. When the twins were born and Davidâs teenage niece Caeli was visiting, I used to parade around wearing nothing on top but a back brace and a nursing bra with the flaps open. So I donât really have a right to criticize, but the Triple X Ointment Ma uses for the burning and itching gets all over the nightshirts, and she walks around with stains on the back.)
When I pointed this out to her, Ma was really unhappy about it. She said it was hard to clean the only two she has often enough, and I offered to buy a couple more. This meant ordering from Vermont Country Store online. I called her while online and asked what size she wears because I can order them right now. She checked and said large . I said are you sure itâs not medium since youâve lost the weight during treatment, and remember the bra. No, itâs large. I order the nightshirts. Ma calls the next day and says she thinks she should get medium . I say why didnât you say that when I was ordering them. Oh, she says.
⢠   Item: Cancer tea
This is some stuff Photiniâs husband recommended, an herbal cleansing tea he uses for his lymphatic cancer or something. They want to give him chemo, but heâs been taking this nasty swill for years and seems to be hanging in there. This is the one holistic cure elixir Maâs asked for. Iâve indulged her, even though I had to run around buying all this stainless steel paraphernalia to brew it and strain it. I have to store it in dark glass bottles only , which believe me are nowhere to be found except in a liquor store. I went and bought three bottles of some expensive god-awful vodka because it comes in dark blue, and poured ALL OF IT down the sink so I could use them. I sterilize all this crap every couple of weeks when I make a new batch, and then we have a huge witchâs cauldron-type pot bubbling all day on the stove and nobody wants to linger in the kitchen. I really hope it helps, but still . . .
⢠   Item: Regular olive oil
She uses regular olive oil to make Holy and rub on anything that hurts thatâs not in the radiation zone, and to put in her religious lamps. If I get Extra Virgin, I have to go back and get the right kind. We have been through this. She literally goes through a gallon or two a week. She has just recently asked me for another of the large cans, and Iâd better take care of it right away.
⢠   Item: Kleenex
She likes the small boxes because they are prett y, but not if the box is decorated with bright colors. Neutral, please. She uses Kleenex when she is out of toilet paper. I ransacked the store for neutral boxes the other day and delivered a ton of them in beige stripes.
⢠Item: Toilet paper
Ma goes through reams of toilet paper, and I have tried about three different brands; each one hurts. She wants the kind from Superfresh. While I was gearing up to find out what that brand is, she called to say Josie just came and dropped some off. Yippee! Four days later, Ma says she has no toilet paper. By then, I know what Iâm looking for. So I am going to Superfresh, on a special trip, because Ma sounds pretty desperate. It is a toilet paper emergency right this second.
â¢
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