that has always seemed to me to have an element of latent criminality. Iâd rather not say what the story isâitâs a common and famous one, which should be enough. I think it was the element of a helper character who seems to have an agenda of his own rather than a slavish devotion that particularly intrigued me.
It was a Saturday, and I had driven over to my brotherâs house. The house, I mean, that used to belong to my dad. He had left it lock, stock and barrel to my oldest brother, JoeâJoe, who had three other properties already and would no doubt have a couple more before the year was done. It needed a lot of work. By the time Dad died, it was a real shambles. Joe was the only one who could afford to fix it up. Still, it hardly seemed fair.
I pulled up and couldnât even park in the driveway because Bill, my second brother, was working on his car there. Dadâs car, that isâan old Lincoln that would be worth something restored. Right now, it didnât even run, which was what Bill was addressing, in a manner of speaking. Mostly, though, he was just plain swearing.
âFrankie!â Joe called when he saw me coming his way. A stranger might have taken it for a heartfelt welcome, but I had my reasons to be wary. I hadnât just made my way here on my ownâheâd summoned me. From long experience I should have known that it wasnât because he meant to help me, but, as always, Iâd come anyway.
âHowâs it hanginâ, little bro?â he asked, coming up and wrapping me in that big bear hug heâd perfected over the years. It wasnât just because it was meâthe born salesman, he used it sooner or later on everyone.
âWhatâs up?â I asked, extricating myself from his embrace, or wrestlerâs hold, whichever you like to call it.
âFinally got the permits, buddy! So itâs full speed ahead!â His eyes were brightâas if he was on something. Maybe he was, but I think it was the project itself that got him high. Freud had it about right when it came to fathers and sons. On the other hand, I was my dadâs son, too, and I felt nothing but sadness. I remembered again that he was gone, and what I was left with were these two. I felt myself tearing up, but hid itâIâd learned long ago that tears brought only blows and scorn.
âBilly! Come on over here!â Joe called over the sound of the engine that Bill was revving, trying to get the engine to turn over. No one called Bill âBillyâ except for Joe, not for a long time. Jesus, I thought. Why the hell had I come? âWe got a bit of a situation here, Frankie,â Joe said, now that the racket had stopped.
Pretty
good
situation, I thought, looking at my brothers. A house and a classic car. And for me?
âWhat situation?â I asked, because he expected me to ask it.
âGato,â Joe said. âNow that weâre in motion, he canât stay.â
* * *
My dad died in the hospital, struggling for breath, all those cigarette packs finally catching up with him. His timing was badâwe couldnât scrape up a woman between the four of us, and men are hopeless at this sort of scene on their own. My mom had died ten years before. Joeâs divorce was just through, and Bill had finally broken free of a bad relationshipâbad for the girl, that is. As for me, well, weâll get to that.
We stood around his bed, awkward as teenagers, not knowing what to say, wishing ourselves away. The others went outâfor a smoke, for a drinkâI donât remember. All I know is that I was left. I wasnât in the mood for either. I sighed, sat down by his side and took my fatherâs hand.
âFrankie,â he said, after awhile.
âIâm here, Dad,â I said. I squeezed his hand, because Iâd heard somewhere that that was what you were supposed to do in these situations.
âI know,â he said,
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