was named by researchers Beverly Whipple and John Perry, 30
years after Grafenberg’s original article was published.
What it is: It’s your prostate… sorta. For every part that a man has, a woman has an equivalent part, or
“homologue.” It’s all the same stuff, just organized in a different way. The penis is the homologue of the clitoris, the scrotum is the homologue of the outer labia, The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms 17
and so on. Make sense so far? Well, the prostate is the homologue of the urethral sponge, a spongy body of tissue that wraps around the urethra inside a woman’s body.
The prostate in men is known to have two functions: It swells up around the man’s urethra when he’s aroused, preventing him from urinating while he’s turned on.
It also produces seminal fluid, the whitish liquid in which sperm travel.
The urethral sponge, we therefore assume, has the equivalent functions in women. It does, in fact, swell with arousal, closing off the urethra. Ever tried to pee immediately after orgasm? You need to take a few deep breaths and relax in order to dissipate the sexual tension that keeps the urethral sponge swollen. Whether or not the urethral sponge also produces some kind of fluid is less certain. There are some who suggest that this is the source of female ejaculation, a relatively rare but normal and healthy phenomenon where a woman ejaculates a large amount of fluid that is definitely not urine but also definitely not vaginal secretions. It looks for all the world like it’s coming from the urethra, but it’s not. (More about female ejaculation in the
“Advanced” section at the end.)
18
The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms How to find it: The urethral sponge is sandwiched between the urethra and the vagina. It’s easiest to find when you’re already aroused. Because the tissue swells with arousal, the g-spot becomes more sensitive and more pronounced with arousal. So get yourself warmed up with whatever clitoral or other non-penetrative stimulation gets you warm and wet. Then insert a finger about two joints, and feel along the anterior (front – the side closer to your belly button) wall of the vagina. You’ll feel either a little nubby or an area where the texture is different from where it is everywhere else.
g-spot
The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms 19
The vagina does not go straight up and down. For most women, it is angled toward the abdomen. Pay attention to that angle as you’re feeling for the g-spot. It will be a crucial factor in generating effective stimulation later.
If you put pressure there, you might feel like you have to pee. That’s because you’re essentially pressing against the urethra, and your brain is interpreting that sensation as a need to pee. If you pee beforehand, you can relax knowing that your bladder is empty. Also, remember the g-spot swells with arousal, making it impossible to pee even when you want to. It’s really not likely that you’ll pee.
It might also be that pressure against the g-spot just hurts. If that’s true for you, there are a couple things that might be causing the pain. The first is the g-spot itself. You might be one of the women not wired for pleasurable g-spot stimulation. Don’t worry—there are plenty of other ways for you to have an orgasm.
It might also be that the pain is related not the to g-spot but to penetration itself. Were you lubricated sufficiently that your finger slid easily into your vagina? Friction burns and can cause irritation. Or you might have long fingernails poking into your vaginal 20
The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms wall. Cut your nails down below your fingertip and file them smooth. Very important.
A last source of pain might be inflammation or infection of the vagina. Yeast infections, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and other imbalances of the vaginal flora can cause burning, itching, and irritation. If your ladyship is not in tip-top condition,
years after Grafenberg’s original article was published.
What it is: It’s your prostate… sorta. For every part that a man has, a woman has an equivalent part, or
“homologue.” It’s all the same stuff, just organized in a different way. The penis is the homologue of the clitoris, the scrotum is the homologue of the outer labia, The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms 17
and so on. Make sense so far? Well, the prostate is the homologue of the urethral sponge, a spongy body of tissue that wraps around the urethra inside a woman’s body.
The prostate in men is known to have two functions: It swells up around the man’s urethra when he’s aroused, preventing him from urinating while he’s turned on.
It also produces seminal fluid, the whitish liquid in which sperm travel.
The urethral sponge, we therefore assume, has the equivalent functions in women. It does, in fact, swell with arousal, closing off the urethra. Ever tried to pee immediately after orgasm? You need to take a few deep breaths and relax in order to dissipate the sexual tension that keeps the urethral sponge swollen. Whether or not the urethral sponge also produces some kind of fluid is less certain. There are some who suggest that this is the source of female ejaculation, a relatively rare but normal and healthy phenomenon where a woman ejaculates a large amount of fluid that is definitely not urine but also definitely not vaginal secretions. It looks for all the world like it’s coming from the urethra, but it’s not. (More about female ejaculation in the
“Advanced” section at the end.)
18
The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms How to find it: The urethral sponge is sandwiched between the urethra and the vagina. It’s easiest to find when you’re already aroused. Because the tissue swells with arousal, the g-spot becomes more sensitive and more pronounced with arousal. So get yourself warmed up with whatever clitoral or other non-penetrative stimulation gets you warm and wet. Then insert a finger about two joints, and feel along the anterior (front – the side closer to your belly button) wall of the vagina. You’ll feel either a little nubby or an area where the texture is different from where it is everywhere else.
g-spot
The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms 19
The vagina does not go straight up and down. For most women, it is angled toward the abdomen. Pay attention to that angle as you’re feeling for the g-spot. It will be a crucial factor in generating effective stimulation later.
If you put pressure there, you might feel like you have to pee. That’s because you’re essentially pressing against the urethra, and your brain is interpreting that sensation as a need to pee. If you pee beforehand, you can relax knowing that your bladder is empty. Also, remember the g-spot swells with arousal, making it impossible to pee even when you want to. It’s really not likely that you’ll pee.
It might also be that pressure against the g-spot just hurts. If that’s true for you, there are a couple things that might be causing the pain. The first is the g-spot itself. You might be one of the women not wired for pleasurable g-spot stimulation. Don’t worry—there are plenty of other ways for you to have an orgasm.
It might also be that the pain is related not the to g-spot but to penetration itself. Were you lubricated sufficiently that your finger slid easily into your vagina? Friction burns and can cause irritation. Or you might have long fingernails poking into your vaginal 20
The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms wall. Cut your nails down below your fingertip and file them smooth. Very important.
A last source of pain might be inflammation or infection of the vagina. Yeast infections, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and other imbalances of the vaginal flora can cause burning, itching, and irritation. If your ladyship is not in tip-top condition,
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