Ghostbusters The Return by Sholly Fisch

willing to join the two Ghostbusters in the middle of a city block that was engulfed in a supernatural blaze. Half a dozen of his colleagues were huddled near a pair of fire engines that idled a block away. They weren't nicknamed "New York's Bravest" for nothing - these were men who would charge into a raging inferno without thinking twice. But this was something completely outside their realm of experience. "My boys tried everything, but nothing worked. Foam, water everything just passed through without doin' nothing."

    "That's because it wasn't holy water," said Ray.

    "Huh?"

    "The thing that puzzles me," said Egon, "is that this one breaks the pattern."

    "Into a million pieces," said Ray. "It's different than the incidents we've been dealing with recently. For one thing, it's the first time there hasn't been any damage. We've got plenty of fire all over the place, but it isn't actually burning anything."

    Egon nodded. "Moreover, it's just a fire, albeit a spectral one. There's nothing about it that would cause it to qualify as an urban legend."

    Ray leaned back, so that the ethereal flames engulfed the top of his head, along with the ghost spider. With a sizzle and a tiny scream, the spider was gone. "Yep, it's a puzzle, all right," he said with a yawn. "If I had time to get more than three hours of sleep one of these nights, I might have enough brain cells left to solve it."

    "Yeah, yeah," said the fireman. "But can you put it out?" His questions were getting more insistent - and, all things considered, Ray couldn't blame him.

    He looked up as a chup chup chup sound grew louder above them. "Actually, it looks like your people want to give it one more try."

    A trio of pale, white helicopters approached overhead.

    "Those aren't our birds," said the fireman.

    "Then whose are they?"

    "You got me. News choppers?"

    Egon raised a hand to his forehead, to shield his eyes against the sun as he watched. "What's that beneath them?"

    Ray squinted at the aircraft. "Oh, it's an old fire fighter technique for fighting forest fires. They hang a giant tarp under the helicopter, dip it in a lake or body of water to pick up several hundred gallons of water, and then they release it over the fire."

    "Not in a populated area!" The fireman was getting agitated and nervous. "The weight of that much water falling from that height could kill somebody! We've gotta get out of here!"

    "It's worse than that," Ray said, as he pulled out his nutrona wand and hit the power. "It is an urban legend! Get ready, Egon."

    Egon followed Ray's lead. "For what? What is it?"

    "A skeet shoot," said Ray.

    That's when the spectral helicopters released their loads of water.

    And that's when scuba divers started falling from the sky.

    The music flared as Venkman strolled quickly across the stage. The band launched into a few bars of a familiar, bass-heavy melody. When the band leader called out, "Who ya gonna call?" the cheering audience screamed, "Ghostbusters!" The applause went on until Venkman and the host greeted each other with a warm handshake, and Peter took a seat in a comfortably padded chair beside the host's desk. He flashed the band leader a little thumbs-up and silently mouthed the words "Hi, Paul."

    "Welcome back," said the host. "Now, you've been here before, right? What is it, about four years ago?"

    "More like five, I think," said Venhnan.

    "Is it really? Well, I'm sorry it's taken so long to have you back. Now, Doctor Venkman... It is 'Doctor,' right?"

    "Right, Dave." Ordinarily, Venkman's gut impulse would have been to tell the host to call him by his first name. But the media trainer had taught him to use the title. It established a subliminal air of authority in the eyes of the audience, especially if he kept using the host's first name.

    "And what are you a doctor of, again?"

    "A couple of things. I've got Ph.D.'s in both psychology and parapsychology." 

    "Really That's very impressive. Two degrees?"

    "The very best