Ghostbusters The Return by Sholly Fisch Page A

that the Offshore University of Manila has to offer," Venkman said with a smile The trainer had warned him that Mayor Lapinski's people would probably try to downplay Venkman's credentials by questioning the validity of an advanced degree in parapsychology, but he could preempt the strategy by making light of it himself. By lacing his discussions with just a touch of self-deprecating humor (although not too much - he didn't want to raise any doubts about his qualifications in the audience's mind), he could use his advanced education as a point in his favor while still sounding like an average joe.

    After pausing for a laugh from the audience, he added, "No, actually, I went to Columbia University."

    "Not too shabby," said the host. "Well, I know everyone's anxious to hear about the mayoral race, and we'll get to that in a minute. But first, there's something I've got to ask you."

    "What's that?"

    "Do you think you could exorcise the spirits of last night's audience from the studio? Now, those folks were scary..."

    While Venkman handled the entertainment circuit with his characteristic smooth charm, the media planners at party headquarters booked Winston into the more serious outlets that drew smaller audiences but focused more deeply on the issues. And so it was that Winston found himself sitting in a darkened studio, across the table from a talk show host who was far more somber and sincere than the one who was interviewing Venkman across town.

    "Mister Zeddemore," said the host, leaning forward in his chair.

    "Yes," Winston replied, leaning comfortably back with a look of concentration on his face. The media trainer had taught him to look relaxed and confident, but to be careful not to seem bored or disinterested.

    "Transit fares."

    "Yes."

    "As you know, the Metropolitan Transit Authority raised them this year."

    "Yes." Winston wished the host would get to the question already. He was beginning to become acutely aware of the quiet that came with the lack of a studio audience. In the midst of the darkened set, the host's slow, contemplative style was starting to make him sleepy. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself awake.

    The host made a tent with his fingers and touched them to his lips. He studied Winston for a long moment, and then finally asked, "Are the fares too high?"

    He sat up and leaned forward, toward the host. "I'm glad you asked me that." Or that you asked me any question, he thought.

    Winston launched into his pre-scripted response. It was made easier by the fact that this was one of the replies that weren't all that different from his own opinions. "Personally, I've never met a New Yorker who didn't think transit fares are too high. In this case, though, I think the issue is less about the fare hike itself than about the way in which it happened. The MA petitioned the government to raise the fares by arguing that they were facing a massive deficit, and that's what swayed the government in their favor. 

    Now, of course, we know that wasn't really the case. The MTA did have enough money. They just weren't managing it well "

    The host nodded sagely. "If you were in office when a similar situation transpired, how would you handle the dispute?"

    "I'd challenge the MTA to find better ways to handle their budgets. I'd remind them that their mission is to serve the public, not to turn a profit." Winston had to acknowledge that the campaign people had written him a good answer. It put him squarely on the side of the public, but didn't rule out the possibility of fare hikes, so that he could avoid completely offending the MTA.

    His eyes moved away from the host to look directly into the camera. "New Yorkers want to work. They want to live their lives. It's up to us to make that possible, and to make sure they can afford to do it."

    As stoic and professional as he appeared on the outside, Winston was grinning like an idiot on the inside.

    What a trip! he thought.

    "The time grows closer,