try."
"Now?"
"What do you mean, now?"
Alice pointed at the phone and put on a big, bright smile.
"Now? I can’t call him at work and interrogate him about his best friend’s love life!"
"Sure you can. You’ve got my big bro wrapped around your little finger. Purr at him, and he will tell you anything."
Susan shrugged in defeat. "Okay. Desperate measures and all that. But get out of here in the meantime, okay? You don’t want to witness this."
Alice fidgeted for the next twenty minutes, visiting the water cooler and photocopier five times each, hoping to overhear Susan’s phone conversation. But the door was closed and she didn’t even hear a murmur. She was probably too busy purring.
Then finally Susan opened the door and beckoned her inside.
"Okay. I interrogated Michael."
"Cool. Name and measurements, please."
"The room is not for a girlfriend."
"Then who is it for?"
Susan shrugged. "I can’t say. Michael refused to spill that much."
"What? He knows, but he won’t tell you? Don’t you tell each other everything?"
"He said something about honor code." Susan sighed. "If he does know, he’s obviously bound to secrecy. Sorry. That’s all I could dig up. But that’s plenty, isn’t it? It’s what you wanted to know."
"So the room is definitely not for a girlfriend?"
"Nope."
"So he doesn’t have a girlfriend?"
"Not that we know of. Not that Michael knows off, and I can’t imagine Gabriel hiding that from him."
"Then why did he let me think this room was for a girlfriend?"
"Because he wanted to be rid of you?"
"He thinks he wants to be rid of me," Alice corrected. "But actually he wants me so bad he can’t think straight."
"Poor guy."
Alice sighed. "Poor me! Men! Can’t live with them, can’t deport them off the planet."
"How’s the Tomboy to Temptress plan going?"
"Okay – I think. I mean – if he had to make up a phony girlfriend he’s definitely on the run, right?"
"Of course, you do want him to run towards you, not away from you..."
"Details, details. I’ll have him running in a circle in no time. How’s that article going? Do you have another tip for me?"
Susan rummaged through her notes. "Yup.... here’s one..."
"Well?"
Susan looked up and grinned. "Simple: ‘Ask Him Out.’"
Ask Him Out.
Yeah, simple all right. Just what a 21st century woman should do. She hadn’t done that yet, had she? It would be an obvious step, but why did it have her squirming?
"Go for it!" Susan said enthusiastically. "It goes very well with my other tips, too."
"Dress Skimpy and Act Seductively," Alice muttered. "Got it."
***
Alice got Mr. F over with – and a disaster that was -- before going for Gabriel. She chose a Saturday to approach him, making sure as well as she could, through Susan and Michael, that he wouldn’t have an airtight excuse that weekend.
She’d only stayed away a week, but wow, did that house look better. A brand new doorbell beckoned, but she ignored it and tried the door.
After all, she still did have a key to this place and Gabriel hadn’t asked for it back yet...
The door was unlocked. The house looked empty, but a radio played somewhere out back. Alice paused in the kitchen, admiring the brand new cabinets and newly tiled floor. Everything looked great. She wouldn’t have believed it a few weeks ago, but someone was becoming the master of home improvement.
She finally located Gabriel in the back yard, looking scrumptious in a work shirt and extremely worn jeans, with a ridiculous yellow goggles pushed up on his forehead. His hair was covered in wooden splinters and sawdust as he bent over a pile of wooden planks and he was rubbing the back of his neck as if it itched.
He needed a shower. He needed someone to help him wash that dust off his back.
"Hi, Gabriel!" she called out. Better startle him now, rather than after he started that dangerous looking circular saw.
She thought she saw a flash of joy in his eyes when he first saw her, before he
"Now?"
"What do you mean, now?"
Alice pointed at the phone and put on a big, bright smile.
"Now? I can’t call him at work and interrogate him about his best friend’s love life!"
"Sure you can. You’ve got my big bro wrapped around your little finger. Purr at him, and he will tell you anything."
Susan shrugged in defeat. "Okay. Desperate measures and all that. But get out of here in the meantime, okay? You don’t want to witness this."
Alice fidgeted for the next twenty minutes, visiting the water cooler and photocopier five times each, hoping to overhear Susan’s phone conversation. But the door was closed and she didn’t even hear a murmur. She was probably too busy purring.
Then finally Susan opened the door and beckoned her inside.
"Okay. I interrogated Michael."
"Cool. Name and measurements, please."
"The room is not for a girlfriend."
"Then who is it for?"
Susan shrugged. "I can’t say. Michael refused to spill that much."
"What? He knows, but he won’t tell you? Don’t you tell each other everything?"
"He said something about honor code." Susan sighed. "If he does know, he’s obviously bound to secrecy. Sorry. That’s all I could dig up. But that’s plenty, isn’t it? It’s what you wanted to know."
"So the room is definitely not for a girlfriend?"
"Nope."
"So he doesn’t have a girlfriend?"
"Not that we know of. Not that Michael knows off, and I can’t imagine Gabriel hiding that from him."
"Then why did he let me think this room was for a girlfriend?"
"Because he wanted to be rid of you?"
"He thinks he wants to be rid of me," Alice corrected. "But actually he wants me so bad he can’t think straight."
"Poor guy."
Alice sighed. "Poor me! Men! Can’t live with them, can’t deport them off the planet."
"How’s the Tomboy to Temptress plan going?"
"Okay – I think. I mean – if he had to make up a phony girlfriend he’s definitely on the run, right?"
"Of course, you do want him to run towards you, not away from you..."
"Details, details. I’ll have him running in a circle in no time. How’s that article going? Do you have another tip for me?"
Susan rummaged through her notes. "Yup.... here’s one..."
"Well?"
Susan looked up and grinned. "Simple: ‘Ask Him Out.’"
Ask Him Out.
Yeah, simple all right. Just what a 21st century woman should do. She hadn’t done that yet, had she? It would be an obvious step, but why did it have her squirming?
"Go for it!" Susan said enthusiastically. "It goes very well with my other tips, too."
"Dress Skimpy and Act Seductively," Alice muttered. "Got it."
***
Alice got Mr. F over with – and a disaster that was -- before going for Gabriel. She chose a Saturday to approach him, making sure as well as she could, through Susan and Michael, that he wouldn’t have an airtight excuse that weekend.
She’d only stayed away a week, but wow, did that house look better. A brand new doorbell beckoned, but she ignored it and tried the door.
After all, she still did have a key to this place and Gabriel hadn’t asked for it back yet...
The door was unlocked. The house looked empty, but a radio played somewhere out back. Alice paused in the kitchen, admiring the brand new cabinets and newly tiled floor. Everything looked great. She wouldn’t have believed it a few weeks ago, but someone was becoming the master of home improvement.
She finally located Gabriel in the back yard, looking scrumptious in a work shirt and extremely worn jeans, with a ridiculous yellow goggles pushed up on his forehead. His hair was covered in wooden splinters and sawdust as he bent over a pile of wooden planks and he was rubbing the back of his neck as if it itched.
He needed a shower. He needed someone to help him wash that dust off his back.
"Hi, Gabriel!" she called out. Better startle him now, rather than after he started that dangerous looking circular saw.
She thought she saw a flash of joy in his eyes when he first saw her, before he
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