Gentlewoman: Etiquette for a Lady, From a Gentleman by Enitan O. Bereola

for me to believe you’re comfortable in your own beauty.
    Society has skewed your perception. Each channel you flip and page you turn, you’re either witnessing an airbrushed woman or a made-up one. Don’t compare yourself to an edited image. We don’t need you Photoshopped–give us your flaws, and we’ll touch you up. Not in a filthy way. But in a loving way because those blemishes are beyond compare. Don’t be afraid of your natural self. Beauty is because beauty is. Beauty doesn’t try; it’s externally reflected from the internal. Beauty is uncontrollable and in its most natural state, beauty is you.
    The mirror isn’t merely for vanity. Self-reflection can free you from yourself. Take a deep look in the mirror–it’s the most honest companion you might ever have. Sooner or later you’ll have to come to terms with yourself. It’s painful to deal with pain, but your outer view needs an interview with your inner view. Excessively taking care of the exterior in an attempt to cover the pain on the interior is like painting over a filthy car. You’ve got to wash it clean. You’d like you more if you loved you more. Figure out who you are, fall in love with that person and don’t apologize for it. Confidence is simply freedom from doubt.
    Matthew 6:25 says, “The important things in life aren’t things…” Expensive bags, excessive makeup, nails done, hair done and everything done won’t make you beautiful. Somewhere along the way, you lost your attractive innocence. It’s tragic if your father gave you your first orgasm; mother may have neglected you, or your boyfriend might’ve beaten you. Abandonment and abuse may have made you believe the lie that you’re not whole; that you’re not amazing just the way you are. You can’t fill your voids with things or second-rate sex. Only love can fill your holes, but you must accept love. Trust your struggle. It’ll be used in a mighty way to touch lives in manners you can’t imagine. That’s beautiful. You’re so beautiful–no matter what they say and no matter what you’ve been through. You’re glowing. You don’t need permission to be yourself.
    Gentlemen, this is for you: I know some of you snuck off and read this and I don’t blame you, so listen up. Just because you go together doesn’t mean she knows you still think she’s beautiful. It’s not your job to create confidence, but your attention to, and awareness of her is essential. Reassurance is your relationship insurance–pay weekly. A woman has to battle daily thoughts of not being enough, no longer satisfying us, not being attractive enough and other women taking our attention. Secure her, no makeup, the pure her. Your woman is beautiful art – go to her art show and gaze; leave your praise in the comment box to remind her how perfect she is just the way she is.
    And ladies, please understand you don’t need a man to tell you you’re amazing. All you need is a mirror.
    Yours truly,

    Enitan Bereola, II
     
    Dear Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty,
    I am writing this letter to you as a man you may be unfamiliar with – a father. It seems the only men you have encountered are princes coming to save you, villains who want to kill you or dwarfs who are beneath you. A father’s job is to guide, mold, protect, inform, model, teach and impart. Since you might not have had an active father in your life, I’m going adopt you along with the wonderful daughters I already have.
    When your younger sisters read about your lives, they seemed to be summed up in twenty pages or less with more pictures than words. That’s a problem because boys often see more than they listen. It’s very important that you don’t just paint a picture for a man, but give room to hear his words. If he can’t articulate how he sees himself and you in the future, turn the page. If he has all emotion and no intellect, turn the page. If he can’t read, SHUT THE BOOK!
    Most of your lives seem to omit