Gentlewoman: Etiquette for a Lady, From a Gentleman by Enitan O. Bereola Page A

courtship and go straight to a big event like a ball or party. A lot of your sisters are following your example and have become messed up as a result. They spend all of their lives dreaming about a wedding, but never preparing for marriage. Don’t expend all your energy on finding the perfect dress when you don’t have an address. The colors of the flowers don’t matter if you haven’t been open about finances. And the reception should be cancelled if you and your future spouse haven’t been real with one another.
    All three of you come from broken homes or dysfunctional families, but you never seem to address in your book how that could influence your mindset. Take the good pieces from what’s already broken and build something good. A broken diamond will make many wonderful rings. A broken leg will often heal and become stronger than it initially was. But a broken vow, a broken promise and a broken heart can cause more harm than good if not properly dealt with. Make up in your mind that as you move forward, you won’t repeat dysfunctional patterns, habits and mindsets that you witnessed in childhood. The worst mistake in the world is the one you never learn from.
    In each story, there is no evidence that any of you ever worked again after you found love. Love is never unemployed. Love should make you want to work on your dreams, work on your passion and work on yourself. The sum of love is not a shopping spree and trips – but goals, unity, family and focus. The benefit of love is that you no longer work alone, but you now work alongside someone who wants to see you accomplish everything your heart desires.
    Now the bad news: there are no fairy godmothers. The good news is that there is a God! Establish an authentic relationship with Him, and you will find how to have one with yourself. A relationship with God will teach you sacrifice, devotion, commitment, faithfulness, discipline, forgiveness, understanding and expectation. When you see how God loves you, it will give you a manual on how you should love and be loved. If the person you have an interest in doesn’t love God, it will be impossible for them to be able to love you.
    As I close this letter, I want you to know I ripped out the last pages of your books because they said, “Happily ever after.” While I want all of you to be happy forever, I don’t want you to be taken by surprise when life happens – bills will come, sickness may arrive; disagreements will take place and children will add stress. But if you love each other, remember there will be more mountains than valleys.
    Always remember life isn’t a fairy tale; it’s a reality show!
    Love,
Dad
    Dr. Jamal-Harrison Bryant
Father of Four Daughters, Pastor of 8,000
     
    Dear Sisters,
    When did we forget we are queens? I see a lot of women being talked to, talked at and handled any kind of way, and it just pisses me off. Back in the day we were WOMEN! Our mere presence demanded respect and not a single word was even spoken! It was the way we carried ourselves, the way we dressed and the way we spoke to others. Our speech was soft, yet heard – gentle, yet firm. Now women are loud, sassy, dress however and allow men to treat them as objects to be tossed aside at their leisure. There’s no value in today’s woman, and we need to take our value back!
    With Love,
    Alesha Reneé
BET Host/Actress
    Your roses mean something. Each bloom is significant, but together, the three specifically symbolize the words: I love you.
    Decoding Roses:
    Always pleasant and always pretty, roses bring any home or office alive. Did you know that the amount of roses you receive bear significance? Allow me to explain:
1 Rose: Love at first sight on date one. Later in the relationship it says, ‘I still love you.’ We can spend $50 to $70 on a dozen roses for sheer spectacle, but the ultimate gesture of devotion is a single rose.
2 Roses: Mutual feelings. If the roses intertwine, it’s even more beautiful.
3 Roses: I