“A.”
“Stupid
people, yeah.”
“I guess it’s
good I’m not stupid, huh?”
Jake smiles
and kisses my head. “How old are you?”
“I don’t
know,” I mumble, stuck on the small “M”
“I’d guess at
least eighteen. Maybe twenty.”
“I don’t
know,” I say again and look at him. “I never had birthday parties and I forgot
how old I was after my brain got broken. I think I was thirteen, but I don’t
remember how many years have passed. Ten maybe.”
“I doubt
ten.”
“Maybe not,”
I say. “How old are you?”
“Hell, if I
know. I told people I was eighteen when I showed up in the city. Got fake
papers saying I was eighteen, so I’d be thirty now. I never went to school
either. My mom taught me a little reading and math,” Jake says, running his
fingers down my back. “Do you know your birthday?”
“Rodent said
I could have the same birthday as America, so I’d have the fireworks.”
“Shit,” he
whispers, “I wish I could kill him again.”
“I would hold
him down while you do it.”
Jake grins.
“Yeah, you’re pretty tough, aren’t you?”
When I flex
my arm, Jake’s smile widens. When he flexes his arm, I forget how to spell my
name.
“You’re so
easily distracted,” he teases as I caress his hard muscles. “I want to be
inside you.”
“Okay.”
“Soon.”
“Okay.”
“You need a
new birthday.”
“When is your
birthday?”
“August
sixteenth. It’s the day I killed the asshole and walked away from the swamp. My
rebirth.”
Cuddling
closer to him, I smile. “What was the day you saved me from Rodent?”
Jake frowns as
he does the math in his head. “May second. I guess you have a new birthday.”
Grinning, I
look at my new name and try to memorize my new birthday. “Will you help me
remember?”
“You don’t
have to ask, Mia.”
“Because I’m
yours.”
“Because I’m
never letting you go.”
Jake’s voice
is hard and demanding. If I didn’t know him, I’d think he was angry. I do know
him, so I realize he’s desperate to be alone. He wants to touch me. He wants me
to touch him too. Soon, we’ll be alone. For Jake, it’s not soon enough.
24 Spent Shells
Mia
Jake is
restless like an animal caged for too long. Even in the pool after he does his
laps, he can barely stay still. At first, I think to leave him alone. What can
I do to help him? Barely able to soothe myself, I rely on Jake to make me
happy. No doubt I’d fail such a powerful man.
I need to try
to help him though. Jake is mine and I love him. Love isn’t like I saw growing
up. It isn’t using people. It’s not lies and manipulation. Love with Jake is
strong and fair. He gives to me and I must find a way to give back.
“Come,” I say
with authority like he does with me.
Jake is
glancing around the pool area like he wants to hurt someone. He ignores my
command and glares at men walking by the door. They are dressed in suits and
look ready for a meeting. Jake hates them because he needs to hate someone. The
city is making him crazy.
“Jake,” I say
stronger and he glances at me in a weird way. He knows I’m challenging him.
“Come here.”
Sitting on
the steps of the pool, I relax with the water up to my waist. When Jake walks
to me, he seems bigger. I know he wants to intimidate me. He’s in that kind of
mood. Everyone is the enemy and no one is safe.
Despite what
Jake feels, I’m safe.
“I won’t
bite,” I say, holding out my arms.
Jake stares
at me like I’m trash. He’s so angry and I want to run away. I know he says he
will never hit me, but I think maybe he’ll forget and hurt me anyway. His eyes
are filled with hate and I’m still weak. Even afraid, I don’t give up.
“I love you,”
I whisper, “but you’re being an asshole.”
Jake’s eyes
narrow and I know he’s ready to say something mean. He’ll hurt me then feel
guilty later.
“Am I still
yours?” I ask before he can lash out. “Do you not want me
“Stupid
people, yeah.”
“I guess it’s
good I’m not stupid, huh?”
Jake smiles
and kisses my head. “How old are you?”
“I don’t
know,” I mumble, stuck on the small “M”
“I’d guess at
least eighteen. Maybe twenty.”
“I don’t
know,” I say again and look at him. “I never had birthday parties and I forgot
how old I was after my brain got broken. I think I was thirteen, but I don’t
remember how many years have passed. Ten maybe.”
“I doubt
ten.”
“Maybe not,”
I say. “How old are you?”
“Hell, if I
know. I told people I was eighteen when I showed up in the city. Got fake
papers saying I was eighteen, so I’d be thirty now. I never went to school
either. My mom taught me a little reading and math,” Jake says, running his
fingers down my back. “Do you know your birthday?”
“Rodent said
I could have the same birthday as America, so I’d have the fireworks.”
“Shit,” he
whispers, “I wish I could kill him again.”
“I would hold
him down while you do it.”
Jake grins.
“Yeah, you’re pretty tough, aren’t you?”
When I flex
my arm, Jake’s smile widens. When he flexes his arm, I forget how to spell my
name.
“You’re so
easily distracted,” he teases as I caress his hard muscles. “I want to be
inside you.”
“Okay.”
“Soon.”
“Okay.”
“You need a
new birthday.”
“When is your
birthday?”
“August
sixteenth. It’s the day I killed the asshole and walked away from the swamp. My
rebirth.”
Cuddling
closer to him, I smile. “What was the day you saved me from Rodent?”
Jake frowns as
he does the math in his head. “May second. I guess you have a new birthday.”
Grinning, I
look at my new name and try to memorize my new birthday. “Will you help me
remember?”
“You don’t
have to ask, Mia.”
“Because I’m
yours.”
“Because I’m
never letting you go.”
Jake’s voice
is hard and demanding. If I didn’t know him, I’d think he was angry. I do know
him, so I realize he’s desperate to be alone. He wants to touch me. He wants me
to touch him too. Soon, we’ll be alone. For Jake, it’s not soon enough.
24 Spent Shells
Mia
Jake is
restless like an animal caged for too long. Even in the pool after he does his
laps, he can barely stay still. At first, I think to leave him alone. What can
I do to help him? Barely able to soothe myself, I rely on Jake to make me
happy. No doubt I’d fail such a powerful man.
I need to try
to help him though. Jake is mine and I love him. Love isn’t like I saw growing
up. It isn’t using people. It’s not lies and manipulation. Love with Jake is
strong and fair. He gives to me and I must find a way to give back.
“Come,” I say
with authority like he does with me.
Jake is
glancing around the pool area like he wants to hurt someone. He ignores my
command and glares at men walking by the door. They are dressed in suits and
look ready for a meeting. Jake hates them because he needs to hate someone. The
city is making him crazy.
“Jake,” I say
stronger and he glances at me in a weird way. He knows I’m challenging him.
“Come here.”
Sitting on
the steps of the pool, I relax with the water up to my waist. When Jake walks
to me, he seems bigger. I know he wants to intimidate me. He’s in that kind of
mood. Everyone is the enemy and no one is safe.
Despite what
Jake feels, I’m safe.
“I won’t
bite,” I say, holding out my arms.
Jake stares
at me like I’m trash. He’s so angry and I want to run away. I know he says he
will never hit me, but I think maybe he’ll forget and hurt me anyway. His eyes
are filled with hate and I’m still weak. Even afraid, I don’t give up.
“I love you,”
I whisper, “but you’re being an asshole.”
Jake’s eyes
narrow and I know he’s ready to say something mean. He’ll hurt me then feel
guilty later.
“Am I still
yours?” I ask before he can lash out. “Do you not want me
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