to know each other. Like friends."
A twinge heats my spine. Nerves. They tingle as they travel through my body, and I recognize my own fear surging to life.
"What game?" I ask, throat dry. After the fight with Asher, I'm not so sure if games are a great idea anymore.
"It’s really simple," Maddy urges, cutting the deck and delivering half of the cards into my sweating palm. "Basically, we each flip a card over. Whoever has the higher card gets to ask a question, and the loser has to tell the truth. If it's just numbers, the questions have to be yes or no. But if you win with a face card, then the loser has to actually explain. And we can play for however long we want, I mean, it almost never lasts until the cards run out, cause someone used to get upset and run away."
Maddy laughs suddenly, leaning in closer, whispering to me. "We used to get so mad, as kids I mean. Because you would lose to a face card, and then there was always one girl who would make you confess which boy you wanted to kiss or, you know, some other nonsense and the loser would start crying. I think the adults wanted to ban it for a while."
As Maddy shakes her head at the memory, I try to envision such a scene, of girls hanging out together, plotting to unveil each other's secrets. Torturing each other in a way only those with feelings could really be tormented. My childhood, emotionless as it was, doesn't seem so bad.
But I watch Maddy, noting how her eyes crinkle and glitter with enjoyment, how they sparkle against her dark skin. None of my memories incur such a reaction, none since the earthquake anyway.
My hands itch to begin, and at the same time, we both flip a card.
I win, my seven beating her three.
"Are you happy?" I ask. I'm not sure why, it is just the first thing that pops out.
"Yes," Maddy says without hesitation.
We flip. I win again—ten over eight. A smile spreads my lips as I get an odd pleasure at the sight.
"Do you believe in the resistance?"
"Yes." Again, not a drop of insecurity.
This time I present a queen, overruling her four. Luck, it seems, is finally on my side. "What do you do for the resistance?"
"Right now, I'm a little too young to really do much. I go to the surface to look for supplies. I scout sometimes. But I'm training to become a doctor, like a healer if you don't remember what that is."
"Why?" I ask, curious. All my life, I've been a fighter. I've never once thought about keeping another person alive.
But Maddy shakes her head, sly. "You have to win another card first."
We draw. I lose, but not to a face card.
"Do you remember your life, before the earthquake I mean?"
I pause. Parts of it used to filter into my mind, hazy, distorted. But the longer I remain with the rebels, the clearer my memories have become. My mother's face floats before my eyes, more exact than I've seen it before, and I sort of remember her—the way being around her made life better, the way it used to feel like home. "Yes."
I lose again. This time to a jack.
Maddy pauses, biting her lip, and I can tell she does not want to waste her opportunity to glimpse past my façade, to open me up. "Have you ever been in love?"
I know what she means. With a boy, with a man. In truth, I've never even kissed one. I've never wanted to. But that is not the only sort of love there is. "I think once a long time ago, I loved my mother and she loved me. That's probably not what you mean, but it's the only memory I have. Sometimes, when I think of her, I feel it still, a little spark that pulls me toward her."
I blink, recoiling and shutting my mouth. Those words have never passed my lips, have never been said out loud. But Maddy looks on encouragingly, and I force myself not to turn away, to continue on this path no matter how scary.
We flip again.
"Have you ever been in love?" I ask, turning her own question against her.
"Yes." A secret tugs her lips upward.
Urgent, I flip. I win again.
"With a boy?"
"Yes."
"Are you still in love?" I
A twinge heats my spine. Nerves. They tingle as they travel through my body, and I recognize my own fear surging to life.
"What game?" I ask, throat dry. After the fight with Asher, I'm not so sure if games are a great idea anymore.
"It’s really simple," Maddy urges, cutting the deck and delivering half of the cards into my sweating palm. "Basically, we each flip a card over. Whoever has the higher card gets to ask a question, and the loser has to tell the truth. If it's just numbers, the questions have to be yes or no. But if you win with a face card, then the loser has to actually explain. And we can play for however long we want, I mean, it almost never lasts until the cards run out, cause someone used to get upset and run away."
Maddy laughs suddenly, leaning in closer, whispering to me. "We used to get so mad, as kids I mean. Because you would lose to a face card, and then there was always one girl who would make you confess which boy you wanted to kiss or, you know, some other nonsense and the loser would start crying. I think the adults wanted to ban it for a while."
As Maddy shakes her head at the memory, I try to envision such a scene, of girls hanging out together, plotting to unveil each other's secrets. Torturing each other in a way only those with feelings could really be tormented. My childhood, emotionless as it was, doesn't seem so bad.
But I watch Maddy, noting how her eyes crinkle and glitter with enjoyment, how they sparkle against her dark skin. None of my memories incur such a reaction, none since the earthquake anyway.
My hands itch to begin, and at the same time, we both flip a card.
I win, my seven beating her three.
"Are you happy?" I ask. I'm not sure why, it is just the first thing that pops out.
"Yes," Maddy says without hesitation.
We flip. I win again—ten over eight. A smile spreads my lips as I get an odd pleasure at the sight.
"Do you believe in the resistance?"
"Yes." Again, not a drop of insecurity.
This time I present a queen, overruling her four. Luck, it seems, is finally on my side. "What do you do for the resistance?"
"Right now, I'm a little too young to really do much. I go to the surface to look for supplies. I scout sometimes. But I'm training to become a doctor, like a healer if you don't remember what that is."
"Why?" I ask, curious. All my life, I've been a fighter. I've never once thought about keeping another person alive.
But Maddy shakes her head, sly. "You have to win another card first."
We draw. I lose, but not to a face card.
"Do you remember your life, before the earthquake I mean?"
I pause. Parts of it used to filter into my mind, hazy, distorted. But the longer I remain with the rebels, the clearer my memories have become. My mother's face floats before my eyes, more exact than I've seen it before, and I sort of remember her—the way being around her made life better, the way it used to feel like home. "Yes."
I lose again. This time to a jack.
Maddy pauses, biting her lip, and I can tell she does not want to waste her opportunity to glimpse past my façade, to open me up. "Have you ever been in love?"
I know what she means. With a boy, with a man. In truth, I've never even kissed one. I've never wanted to. But that is not the only sort of love there is. "I think once a long time ago, I loved my mother and she loved me. That's probably not what you mean, but it's the only memory I have. Sometimes, when I think of her, I feel it still, a little spark that pulls me toward her."
I blink, recoiling and shutting my mouth. Those words have never passed my lips, have never been said out loud. But Maddy looks on encouragingly, and I force myself not to turn away, to continue on this path no matter how scary.
We flip again.
"Have you ever been in love?" I ask, turning her own question against her.
"Yes." A secret tugs her lips upward.
Urgent, I flip. I win again.
"With a boy?"
"Yes."
"Are you still in love?" I
Similar Books
