Future Queens of England by Ryan Matthews

way down the stairs.
    “Are you going to the hockey try-outs tonight Uwe?” asked Hugh.
    “Of course, though it’s insulting that I have to prove myself,” Uwe said snootily.
    “Who else is going?”
    “I reckon I’ll give it a go, Hugh,” said Keenan, “and I think Tony should give it a go too.”
    “Yeah, it might help him to burn off a bit of that testosterone,” Gareth added.
    “Talking of Tony, did anyone invite him along to eat?” asked Hugh.
    They all shook their heads.
    “Oh, well, someone had better go back up and ask him,” Hugh suggested.  “We don’t want him to feel left out now do we?”
    Uwe groaned, “I’ll go.  Wait here I won’t be a moment.”  Uwe trudged up the stairs back to their room whilst the others waited on the staircase chatting.  He walked to the double doors of their boudoir, opened them and walked in.  He stood there shocked and unable to speak at the sight before his eyes.  Tony was stood over his bed with the fashion magazines laid out in front of him masturbating furiously.  Uwe turned and left the room quietly; he walked quickly along the corridor and down the stairs and rejoined the group.
    “Well is he coming?” asked Hugh.
    “Yes, I believe he is,” replied Uwe solemnly.
    Hugh looked up the stairs but couldn’t see any sign of Tony, “Is he coming right now?”
    “There is no absolutely no doubt in my mind,” Uwe confirmed quietly.
    Hugh realising that something was wrong probed Uwe, “What did you see up there?”
    “I caught Tony masticating,” he replied, “I feel quite disturbed.”
    “Why were you disturbed?  What on earth was he eating?” asked Bruce.
    Keenan laughed, “Oh I think I know what Uwe means.  I think old Tony was milking his miserly moo cow.  I think we’d best leave him to it , eh?”
    “Yes, I agree,” Gareth said.  “At least he will be in a calmer mood for the rest of the day.”
    “Perhaps we should bring him back a sandwich, he was really working up an appetite,” Uwe added thoughtfully.
    Keenan slapped Uwe on the back, “Come on son, let’s eat.”
    “I don’t seem to be hungry anymore Keenan,” Uwe revealed.  “In fact I feel a little sick.  It was like the Black Forest; I don’t think he’s ever even considered trimming.”
    “I am inclined to agree, Uwe, but all in good time eh?” comforted Keenan, “all in good time.”
     
     
    After dinner they returned to their room.  Keenan stopped them all before they entered, knocked on the door and shouted, “We’re coming in Tony!”
    “What are you doing?” asked Hugh.
    “Sshhh,” hushed Keenan listening for a reply.
    “So what?” came the reply from inside the boudoir.
    “I think we’re okay,” said Keenan as he pushed the door open and wandered into the room.  “Are you alright Tony?” he asked.
    “Top of the world,” Tony replied with a wayward look in his eye.  “But I ain’t half hungry.”  He rubbed his stomach in rapid circular motion, “I could eat a bloody horse.”
    Gareth chucked a sandwich at Tony, “Here you go Tony, enjoy!”
    “Wow thanks, Gareth,” said Tony as he caught the sandwich with both hands, “just what the doctor ordered.”  He hastily unwrapped the sandwich and sank his teeth into it.
    “You’re in an unusually good mood Tony,” observed Bruce with a wink.
    Tony nodded and muttered something unintelligible with a mouthful of food.  He swallowed and then spoke, “Hey Gareth, I’ve finished with your magazines.  Thanks, they were just what I needed.”  He kicked the magazines to the bottom of the bed and Gareth walked over and picked one of them up by a corner with his thumb and forefinger and regarded it with utter disgust.
    “Hmm, it looks like a snail has crawled all over it.”  He dropped the magazine back onto the bed.  ”I’ll tell you what Tony, you can keep these.  Consider it my gift to you.”  Then he turned and walked to the bathroom to wash his hands