Future Queens of England by Ryan Matthews Page B

the corridor with Tony in tow.  He stayed downwind of her so he could smell her perfume.  He allowed himself to close his eyes for a moment as he followed her trying to shut down his other senses and focus all of his effort on his sense of smell.  Louise stopped in front of the door and Tony bumped into the back of her and pressed her against the door.
    “Ow,” she wailed, pushing Tony back.  “What are you doing, you dimmock?”
    Obviously embarrassed Tony apologised profusely and muttered jumbled explanations at her.
    “Never mind!” she tutted as she unlocked and opened the cupboard door.  She pulled out a large box and placed it on the floor near Tony’s feet.  “Take a look in there,” she said.
    Tony bent down and started to rifle through the items of clothing in the box.
    “There,” Louise said pointing into the box, “they look like shorts.”
    “Where?” Tony asked as he stared into the box.
    Louise bent over and put her hand into the box moving items aside.  As she bent over her blouse hung loosely, Tony gazed wantonly at her perfect, full round breasts.  He knew he should look away but he was completely mesmerised by their beauty and was totally unable to blink never mind divert his gaze.
    “Here,” she said pulling out a pair of pink shorts and waving them in Tony’s face.  She suddenly realised what Tony was doing and stood up quickly, placing her hand on her chest as if to protect herself from Tony’s stare.
    “What!” Tony exclaimed taking the shorts from her, “I’m not wearing these!”  He held them up in front of him and inspected them more closely.  “Wait a second, these aren’t shorts!  They’re bloody hot pants,” he shrieked in disbelief.  With both hands extended in front of him he pulled at the waistband and stretched them to make the elastic vibrate.  He turned them around to view the back and rolled his eyes in disbelief, “No effing way,” he gasped as he read the word ‘BITCH’ embroidered across the rear.
    “Beggars can’t be choosers, Tony,” she said picking the box back up again and returning it to the cupboard.
    “Surely there must be something else…” he started but was cut off mid-sentence.
    “I shouldn’t even let you have them.  Now come on, I have work to do,” Louise said, locking the  door.  She walked away leaving Tony staring at the small, pink hot pants.
    “Oi Tony, nice choice!” shouted Marc from the stairs, “you’ve only been here a couple of days and you’re already turning.”
    “Am I bollocks!” shouted Tony defensively.  “Hell will freeze over before that day comes,” he added as he stuffed the hot pants into the pocket of his jeans.  He stormed back up the stairs past Marc and into the Larry Grayson boudoir.
    “Hurry up Tony, we have to go soon,” Hugh said hurriedly.
    “I know, I know,” Tony said as he took the hot pants from his pocket and placed them on top of his bedside cabinet.  “Quick Hugh,” Tony ordered, “give me a marker pen, now!”
    Hugh opened his drawer and searched for a pen.  He found a black marker pen and handed it to Tony, “Will this do?”
    Tony nodded silently, popped the top off the pen and started to write on the back of the hot pants.  Very carefully, above the word bitch, he wrote: ‘Nobodys’.
    Hugh watched Tony and pointed out, “There should be an apostrophe between the ‘y’ and the ‘s’ Tony.”
    Tony muttered something incomprehensible then quickly added the missing apostrophe.  Then whilst waiting for the ink to dry he removed his trainers and jeans. 
    “Hey!  Look the other way for a minute,” he ordered.
    As they turned their heads to offer Tony some privacy he snatched the hot pants from the bedside cabinet and stepped into them.  He had raised them as high as his kneecaps before they started to feel tight, then he strained visibly as he squeezed them over his thighs and onto his hips.  They heard the grunts and couldn’t resist watching Tony