Frozen Teardrop

Frozen Teardrop by Lucinda Ruh

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Authors: Lucinda Ruh
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secretary from the office presented me with a pet turtle in a glass jar. I was so thrilled and elated that this turtle was to be my friend during this trip. As we boarded and said our goodbyes, and as the train started to build with speed, we explored the whole train and especially our room. It was a moderate room, the biggest my father could get, with four beds, two on each side, one on top of the other and a table in the middle. I placed my turtle right in the middle and called my new friend, Xie Xie, meaning thank-you in Mandarin.
    My father had talked about how the train’s wheels on the tracks would make the repetitive sounds of “chuchu-chuchu, chuchu-chuchu,” and for months leading up to the trip that was what I would tell all my friends at school and what I was so excited about. My father always brought lightness to a situation and I loved not having to worry about anything with him. I wish my father had been more present as I was training on the ice so that he could have watered the fire burning inside my mother from all the responsibilities she had. My father also talked about how we could just look out the window to see the ever-changing landscapes as we went from China to Russia and that enticed me and I had high expectations.
    The train trip lasted for ten days and there was no shower, only a small bathroom where my mother washed me every morning and scrubbed me down. The food cart was as interesting as when we were in China. It was bustling and noisy and all kinds of ethnic Chinese food were served. As we entered Russia the food cart was more subdued and all we got to eat was borscht. We played cards, played chess together, looked out the window for hours together, and talked together, It was the beauty of this experience that you didn’t have to do anything to feel the love in the family and the inseparable devotion we had for each other. This time would be etched in my memory forever. It was the chosen glances and words we spoke with that made the trip the most memorable ever. As promised, I did my exercises diligently everyday as well as my ballet-bar work, and I worked on my flexibility with my mother helping me on the bed and on the floor in the hallway.
    There were a couple of interesting incidents during the trip. Often the train would unexpectedly come to a stop at any time of the day, but frequently in the middle of the night and police would raid the trains, coming into all the rooms, checking our passports on a search rampage. It was rather terrifying for me because I had no idea why police were on the train and what they were searching for. Later on my parents told me they were looking for drugs and illegal transport of goods. A lot of the people would stuff drugs into Russian nesting dolls (Babushka or Matryushka dolls). One interesting incident in particular that I will always remember happened during the middle of the trip. I was sleeping soundly and suddenly awakened by my father’s voice telling us to quickly get up and put some clothes on and get off the train. The train had come to a halt and it was about two in the morning.
    Not knowing what was going on, we got off. It was pouring with rain and it was pitch dark and we had no idea where we were. We didn’t really make friends with others on the train but we saw familiar faces also waiting outside, huddled under a broken roof under umbrellas. We stayed close to another family we had become acquainted with. We waited and waited while not being told what was going on. We must have waited at least two hours. It was getting cold but my sister and I kept each other company. My parents thought something had happened to the train or police had found something suspicious. But to our relief we suddenly saw that the train was lifted and that the train wheels were being changed. How captivating it was for me as a child to watch what was going on in the middle of nowhere with no light and in pouring rain.
    Once my father

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