—”
“Let’s pause there a moment,” Melody said quickly, almost thankfully. “I don’t want to slide past this issue. It seems that having children is important to you, Eric.”
“It is.” He opened his hands and looked down at them, as if he were seeing a baby there.
K.D.’s heart
ka-thumped
at the image.
“He wants children to carry on the great Larkin name. To become little clones of him. So he can live on through them. It’s all about ego gratification.”
“It’s all about family.” He looked directly at her. “I don’t want kids in my image. I want a family in my family’s image, with the focus on being together, being good to each other, having some fun, and raising good human beings. That’s what matters. If having babies isn’t in the cards for us, I’d want to adopt. Maybe adopt
and
have babies ourselves.”
“Adopt
and
— How many kids do you want?” she asked him.
“Three, four at least.”
“Good Lord. You have it all planned out, don’t you?”
“You haven’t talked before about how many children Eric might want?” Melody’s voice brought K.D. up short. She’d forgotten about the other woman.
She recovered fast. “I don’t want any, so it hasn’t mattered how many he’d want.”
“Why don’t you want children?”
“Kids deserve more,” she blurted.
“More than what?”
But she was done blurting. “More than parents who don’t see eye-to-eye on a lot of things, right down to whether they should have been born.”
“She’s terrified she’ll become her mother.”
Eric’s words felt like a spear thrust into her ribs. She sucked in oxygen at the force of the blow.
Then she realized.
He didn’t know.
He hadn’t been aiming to hurt her. He was simply using accumulated information to further their goal of passing for an unhappy couple.
“Explain that, Eric,” Melody invited.
“She thinks she ruined her mother’s life by being born, that because of her, her mother married a man a decade ago that her mother doesn’t love.”
She hadn’t said
that
. Hadn’t thought it. At least not that succinctly.
“That’s—”
“Just a minute, K.D.,” Melody said firmly. “Let’s pursue this. Eric, you don’t agree with what you believe K.D. feels?”
“No. I don’t. Her mom would never regret having K.D. She’d say that having a daughter has made her life. As for her marriage, Theresa isn’t K.D. She married a man K.D. wouldn’t love. They have a marriage K.D. wouldn’t want.”
Melody was nodding.
K.D. drew a breath to dispute him, but the counselor held up a hand, forestalling her, then asked Eric, “What about K.D. fearing she will become her mother?”
“Isn’t it obvious? If she has a child, she thinks she’ll be as trapped as she thinks her mother was — either in single motherhood or—” He met K.D.’s eyes. She had to admit he was selling this really well. “—a marriage she has never been sure she wanted. I suppose the biggest surprise is that she ever said yes in the first place, considering her fears.”
“So, you were the one who steered your relationship toward marriage?”
“Pushed, not steered,” K.D. said, touching the rings on her left hand.
“Yeah, I pushed,” he agreed. “You could have said no.”
She opened her mouth, then closed it.
Melody turned to her. Sure,
now
the woman wanted her to talk.
“Why did you say yes, K.D.?”
The trouble in his eyes
.
No, no. Because of the opportunity. To advance her career. She’d said yes
despite
the trouble in his eyes. His trouble wasn’t her trouble.
“His eyes,” she said at last. Because she couldn’t say any of the rest of it.
Melody nodded and smiled at her. “I can tell from your tone that you’re remembering all the reasons you said yes in addition to his eyes. And I think that’s a good point to stop this session. I want you to split up now. One of you can go to the garden, one for a massage, or to the gym, or the hot tub. Then you can
“Let’s pause there a moment,” Melody said quickly, almost thankfully. “I don’t want to slide past this issue. It seems that having children is important to you, Eric.”
“It is.” He opened his hands and looked down at them, as if he were seeing a baby there.
K.D.’s heart
ka-thumped
at the image.
“He wants children to carry on the great Larkin name. To become little clones of him. So he can live on through them. It’s all about ego gratification.”
“It’s all about family.” He looked directly at her. “I don’t want kids in my image. I want a family in my family’s image, with the focus on being together, being good to each other, having some fun, and raising good human beings. That’s what matters. If having babies isn’t in the cards for us, I’d want to adopt. Maybe adopt
and
have babies ourselves.”
“Adopt
and
— How many kids do you want?” she asked him.
“Three, four at least.”
“Good Lord. You have it all planned out, don’t you?”
“You haven’t talked before about how many children Eric might want?” Melody’s voice brought K.D. up short. She’d forgotten about the other woman.
She recovered fast. “I don’t want any, so it hasn’t mattered how many he’d want.”
“Why don’t you want children?”
“Kids deserve more,” she blurted.
“More than what?”
But she was done blurting. “More than parents who don’t see eye-to-eye on a lot of things, right down to whether they should have been born.”
“She’s terrified she’ll become her mother.”
Eric’s words felt like a spear thrust into her ribs. She sucked in oxygen at the force of the blow.
Then she realized.
He didn’t know.
He hadn’t been aiming to hurt her. He was simply using accumulated information to further their goal of passing for an unhappy couple.
“Explain that, Eric,” Melody invited.
“She thinks she ruined her mother’s life by being born, that because of her, her mother married a man a decade ago that her mother doesn’t love.”
She hadn’t said
that
. Hadn’t thought it. At least not that succinctly.
“That’s—”
“Just a minute, K.D.,” Melody said firmly. “Let’s pursue this. Eric, you don’t agree with what you believe K.D. feels?”
“No. I don’t. Her mom would never regret having K.D. She’d say that having a daughter has made her life. As for her marriage, Theresa isn’t K.D. She married a man K.D. wouldn’t love. They have a marriage K.D. wouldn’t want.”
Melody was nodding.
K.D. drew a breath to dispute him, but the counselor held up a hand, forestalling her, then asked Eric, “What about K.D. fearing she will become her mother?”
“Isn’t it obvious? If she has a child, she thinks she’ll be as trapped as she thinks her mother was — either in single motherhood or—” He met K.D.’s eyes. She had to admit he was selling this really well. “—a marriage she has never been sure she wanted. I suppose the biggest surprise is that she ever said yes in the first place, considering her fears.”
“So, you were the one who steered your relationship toward marriage?”
“Pushed, not steered,” K.D. said, touching the rings on her left hand.
“Yeah, I pushed,” he agreed. “You could have said no.”
She opened her mouth, then closed it.
Melody turned to her. Sure,
now
the woman wanted her to talk.
“Why did you say yes, K.D.?”
The trouble in his eyes
.
No, no. Because of the opportunity. To advance her career. She’d said yes
despite
the trouble in his eyes. His trouble wasn’t her trouble.
“His eyes,” she said at last. Because she couldn’t say any of the rest of it.
Melody nodded and smiled at her. “I can tell from your tone that you’re remembering all the reasons you said yes in addition to his eyes. And I think that’s a good point to stop this session. I want you to split up now. One of you can go to the garden, one for a massage, or to the gym, or the hot tub. Then you can
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