Childless: A Novel
mean, both have accomplished so much at such a young age. Why should they feel inadequate?”
    “Not should. Do. And I don’t mean just Kevin and Troy. I’m talking about all men.”
    Julia thought of the men she’d dated before meeting Troy. Most carried themselves with a swagger that hid any hint of uncertainty. She remembered rebuking herself for craving their admiration and affection. A successful and intelligent woman shouldn’t need the attention of some egocentric man . It’s what she had written in her column and shouted at the mirror after countless disheartening dates. But watching her sister’s romantic roller coasters and reading her readers’ posts had convinced Julia that every woman struggled with a nagging insecurity just like her own. It had never occurred to her that the same might be true of men. Some men, perhaps. But Troy? And Kevin?
    “Do you mean when things go wrong?” Julia asked.
    “I mean almost always,” Angie explained. “While brokering business deals and walking the halls of Congress my husband appears bold and self-assured.”
    Julia agreed. Kevin Tolbert came across as even more confident than Troy.
    “And he is,” Angie continued, “as long as he knows I respect him. But one look of disappointment or word of criticism from me and he becomes a different man. A smaller man.”
    “Smaller?”
    “Less than he is when he senses my admiration.”
    Julia felt a familiar sense of indignation. “So we’re supposed to stand on the sidelines wearing cheerleader outfits so they can win the big games. Is that it?”
    Angie smiled disarmingly. “Something like that. But I hope you wear something a bit racier than a cheerleader outfit now that you’re married.” She added a mischievous wink.
    Julia suppressed a reluctant grin while marveling at her friend’s unflappable confidence. Rather than take the bait Angie had redirected the potential quarrel like a seasoned mom distracting a child from a tantrum.
    “You know what I mean,” Julia snapped playfully.
    “If there’s anything I’ve learned about men during a decade of marriage it’s that they desperately need their woman’s admiration and respect. Why shouldn’t they? I mean, God made two halves of a whole. Doesn’t it make sense that men need us as much as we need them?”
    “I guess I don’t like thinking of it as a need,” Julia admitted. “I love Troy. I want him. But need him?”
    “That’s right,” Angie mocked. “I forgot. No man is an island. But a woman is different. She can go it alone.”
    Julia absorbed the rebuke. Probably even deserved it, she thought, after years of columns peddling an ideology that must have seemed shallow or silly to her newfound mentor. Angie would, of course, resent being called a mentor. The two had been high school friends reunited after a season of estrangement. Slowly drifting apart was the cowardly route Julia had chosen while falling in love with a world far removed from the kind of life Kevin and Angie Tolbert had built together. The kind of life, as Troy had hoped, she found it easy to admire.
    But it remained difficult to choose.
    “Point taken,” Julia said, raising a hand of surrender.
    Angie winked at her friend before lifting the mug back to her lips. “So,” she began over the brim, “how’s that discussion group with your pastor going?”
    Julia sighed before glancing at a clock on the wall. “A new record,” she said.
    “Record for what?”
    “For how soon you slipped into evangelist mode.” She paused to calculate backward from her and Troy’s arrival time. “Less than two hours.”
    In truth, Julia had hoped to avoid the subject. Yes, she had agreed to join Troy in the Exploring Christianity class. And yes, Pastor Alex had answered most of her toughest questions during the past few months. But Julia hated admitting to her hopeful friend that she hadn’t yet decided to go as far as her husband. He had become an official follower of Jesus a few

Similar Books

The Night Dance

Suzanne Weyn

Junkyard Dogs

Craig Johnson

Daniel's Desire

Sherryl Woods