to do. I needed to know how she felt about Tommy. But more importantly, I needed to know how she felt about me. Even though I wasn’t ready, I needed to know some answers. I reluctantly walked to the back of the house.
I opened the door to the guest room and walked in. Lena was lying on the bed with her back to the door.
“Hey!” I said out loud.
“Yes.” Lena still had her back to me.
“What's wrong with you?” I asked
“I don't know. What's wrong with you? Why did you talk to me like that?”
“Why do you think?”
“I didn’t do anything, Josiah.”
“I didn’t say you did.”
“He kissed me and that was it.”
“Is it?” I asked.
“Is what?”
“Is that all there is? Are there feelings between the two of you?”
Lena was quiet.
“Are you quiet because you have feelings for him, or are you quiet because I had the gall to ask that question?”
Lena whispered, “The first one.”
“What was that?”
Lena turned over and looked at me. “It’s the first one, Josiah.”
“You have developed feelings for Tommy?”
Lena nodded.
“How?”
“I don’t know how. We just started hanging out and getting along.”
“Getting along? I didn’t realize that getting along with someone constitute romantic feelings.”
“You make it sound like I was being malicious.”
“What happened to ‘forever and always’? What happened to ‘I love you’?”
“I haven’t stopped loving you. In many ways, I love you more.”
“You love me more? You developed feelings for my best friend and that caused you to love me more? How is that possible?”
“Because now I know what I need to do.”
“Which is?”
Lena sat up on the bed. She seemed really uncomfortable.
“What do you need to do, Lena?”
“I think I… or we, need time apart.”
“Oh, we do? Just like that. I don’t see you for a month and the second I come back we need time apart?”
“I need to figure things out.”
“Do you love him?”
“Not in the same way I love you.”
“So, you do love him?”
“I don't know what it is. Tommy took care of me. He comforted me when you weren't there.”
“I think I'm going to throw up.”
“Josiah, the love I have for you sometimes doesn’t even feel real, it’s like a fairytale where the weird Goth girl gets the cute popular boy in school.”
“Wow, I can't believe how you just reduced us to some cheesy teen movie. I think what has gone on between us is a lot more than that.”
“Is it?”
“What are you talking about? You don’t think so? Has everyone gone crazy?”
“Josiah, when I think about you, I don't really see you for you. I see you as this guy who is super human.”
“That is so unfair to me!”
“How can I not see you for that? You do things and behave in a way that is beyond my comprehension.”
“I didn’t ask for this! I didn’t ask for any of it. But I can’t change it now that it’s here. You were the one thing that kept me grounded. You are the one thing that has made all of this worth it. This isn’t fair.”
“Why do you keep saying that?”
“Because I see you for who you are. I see you for all that I believe you'll become. I love that about you, and I can't believe all you have felt for me these past few months is superficial bullshit.”
Lena stood up and walked over to me. “It's more than that, Josiah, because I do see you, too. I see this thing that you have become. You're not mine to have. The reason why you are the ‘Chosen One’ is not so you can love me. The reason why you have been handpicked to do great things is because of what's inside of you. And I don't want to interfere with that.”
What the hell? Did Goshi talk to her?
Then it dawned on me what was happening. She was breaking up with me. I felt all the air come out of me. I sat on the bed. “So what are you saying, Lena?”
“I'm saying that I love you. I love you so much, that I know I can't keep you for myself.”
I felt like I was going to
I opened the door to the guest room and walked in. Lena was lying on the bed with her back to the door.
“Hey!” I said out loud.
“Yes.” Lena still had her back to me.
“What's wrong with you?” I asked
“I don't know. What's wrong with you? Why did you talk to me like that?”
“Why do you think?”
“I didn’t do anything, Josiah.”
“I didn’t say you did.”
“He kissed me and that was it.”
“Is it?” I asked.
“Is what?”
“Is that all there is? Are there feelings between the two of you?”
Lena was quiet.
“Are you quiet because you have feelings for him, or are you quiet because I had the gall to ask that question?”
Lena whispered, “The first one.”
“What was that?”
Lena turned over and looked at me. “It’s the first one, Josiah.”
“You have developed feelings for Tommy?”
Lena nodded.
“How?”
“I don’t know how. We just started hanging out and getting along.”
“Getting along? I didn’t realize that getting along with someone constitute romantic feelings.”
“You make it sound like I was being malicious.”
“What happened to ‘forever and always’? What happened to ‘I love you’?”
“I haven’t stopped loving you. In many ways, I love you more.”
“You love me more? You developed feelings for my best friend and that caused you to love me more? How is that possible?”
“Because now I know what I need to do.”
“Which is?”
Lena sat up on the bed. She seemed really uncomfortable.
“What do you need to do, Lena?”
“I think I… or we, need time apart.”
“Oh, we do? Just like that. I don’t see you for a month and the second I come back we need time apart?”
“I need to figure things out.”
“Do you love him?”
“Not in the same way I love you.”
“So, you do love him?”
“I don't know what it is. Tommy took care of me. He comforted me when you weren't there.”
“I think I'm going to throw up.”
“Josiah, the love I have for you sometimes doesn’t even feel real, it’s like a fairytale where the weird Goth girl gets the cute popular boy in school.”
“Wow, I can't believe how you just reduced us to some cheesy teen movie. I think what has gone on between us is a lot more than that.”
“Is it?”
“What are you talking about? You don’t think so? Has everyone gone crazy?”
“Josiah, when I think about you, I don't really see you for you. I see you as this guy who is super human.”
“That is so unfair to me!”
“How can I not see you for that? You do things and behave in a way that is beyond my comprehension.”
“I didn’t ask for this! I didn’t ask for any of it. But I can’t change it now that it’s here. You were the one thing that kept me grounded. You are the one thing that has made all of this worth it. This isn’t fair.”
“Why do you keep saying that?”
“Because I see you for who you are. I see you for all that I believe you'll become. I love that about you, and I can't believe all you have felt for me these past few months is superficial bullshit.”
Lena stood up and walked over to me. “It's more than that, Josiah, because I do see you, too. I see this thing that you have become. You're not mine to have. The reason why you are the ‘Chosen One’ is not so you can love me. The reason why you have been handpicked to do great things is because of what's inside of you. And I don't want to interfere with that.”
What the hell? Did Goshi talk to her?
Then it dawned on me what was happening. She was breaking up with me. I felt all the air come out of me. I sat on the bed. “So what are you saying, Lena?”
“I'm saying that I love you. I love you so much, that I know I can't keep you for myself.”
I felt like I was going to
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