Forbidden Pleasures (NSC Industries Book 11) by D. H. Sidebottom

all the way down to his fingers. “Jay!”
    “You thought this was for women, that I hurt women,” he said
with a strangled whisper. “You wouldn’t have believed me if I had just argued
your thoughts.” His narrow eyes were watching me closely. “You need to see,
Bea.”
    “Well I don’t want to see,” I snapped as I scrambled to
reach the cuffs around his wrists, attempting to snap them back open. But I was
too small, my tiny height once again hindering me. “Jay!” I pleaded as I started
to weep. “I don’t want to see. I don’t want to.”
    “But you need to Bea. I not only like to do this to
women… I like them to do it to me. You need to see the monster inside me. You
need to witness it and accept that it’s there.”
    “No!” I sobbed as I moved around the front of him and
grasped his face. The devastation and shame on his face fractured my soul.
Shaking my head at him, the anger mixing with the sadness, I coughed as I
choked on my tears. “Jay, please.”
    “The bullwhip is my particular choice,” he whispered,
ignoring my protests as I still tried to free him. “Although it usually depends
on how hard I need to take the punishment.”
    “Punishment?” I spluttered when my sobs became
uncontrollable and his own hatred started to drown me.
    “Punishment,” he repeated mechanically as his gaze
remained on the stark stone floor. He was slipping away, the haze over his eyes
alerting me to his inner shield, the protection he slipped into when he needed
to cope with whatever hell his mind was tormenting him with.
    “What the hell do you need punishing for?” He didn’t
answer me. “Jay!”
    His head dropped and his body sagged. His knees bent, the
action causing him to hang from the three chains motionless and lifeless, his
body swinging with his dead weight.
    “Jay!” I slapped his face but it only caused him to sway
harder, the collar around his neck pulling tightly. “JAY!”
    I scanned the area quickly. There must be some emergency
release button but my gaze found none. Taking a deep breath, I pressed my hands
onto his shoulders and jumped, hoisting my body up his until I was climbing his
body. Hooking my legs around his waist I fumbled with the collar, wincing when
the tight pull made it difficult to release the prong from its hole. The cuffs
around his hands were the only things stopping him from strangling himself so I
knew I had to release the collar before the cuffs but it was too hard, the
weight of his comatose body and mine straining the buckle.
    Finally after screaming with effort, I managed to release
it. The cuffs were easier, held my a simple clasp that had a release button for
quick access.
    We both dropped to the floor and I sobbed hard as I
pulled his unconscious body onto my lap and held him tightly. “Jay,” I begged
as I lifted his face towards mine. “Jay, please. Come on.”
    But he didn’t wake. His breathing was regular and he
looked peaceful wherever his mind had taken him to but my heart was breaking,
the overwhelming sadness possessing me pouring out of me in huge waves.
    We lay there for what seemed like hours. It could have
been, yet it could have been mere minutes as I clung to him and he lingered
wherever his unconscious had taken him.
    Eventually, I felt him stir in my arms. His eyes opened
and a deep misery looked back at me. He frowned and reached up to touch my
face, his fingertips stroking the tracks of my tears. “You didn’t punish me.”
    I stared in confusion, his words aching my heart and
angering my gut. “What? Of course I didn’t!”
    “You should have.”
    “No!” I hissed, shoving him away when his need disgusted
me. “No, Jay. I will never punish you.”
    “But why? I need you to.”
    Vomit curled in my belly and I clenched my fists in
anger. “Is that what she does?” I spat out. I’d had it so very wrong.
What I thought was Jay whipping Belinda for his own sexual needs was completely
and utterly wrong. I knew he did need to