lot of gaps in my story. They sense it, even if they aren’t sure what they are. When they look at Felix’s life, they won’t find any sign that he was obsessed or stalking me. They’ll see a normal kid, trying to figure out his life. The pieces don’t add up, and only Jesse and me know why.
“It’s okay,” he whispers into my hair. “It’s over.”
Maybe he can tell, somehow, that the demon didn’t get out of the host before Felix died. I can’t ask what that means for a demon. It makes me happy to imagine the thing trapped in his corpse, unable to muster enough power to move, now that the life force has gone. That’s the most fitting prison imaginable, except that it cost this boy his life. The only reason he’s dead is because the demons saw me talking to him. I feel horrible about it.
Once we deal with the preliminary questions, Jesse takes me to the same clinic. At this rate, they’ll think I’m a battered wife. After a few X-rays, the doctor determines I don’t have a concussion and I just need some rest and pain medicine. Afterward, Jesse drives me to his place; I don’t protest. I’m not up to facing Maria or explaining what the hell happened, especially since I’m not sure myself.
Inside his apartment, Jesse draws me gently into his arms. The thump of his heart is reassuring beneath my cheek. “I was so fucking scared, Shan. I know we’re brand new, I know it’s too soon, but I have to say it. I am crazy in love with you. Please don’t ever make me feel that way again.”
“I love you, too,” I whisper.
After that, he whispers not to worry—I’m safe. But I don’t know if I’ll ever feel safe. I can’t trust my eyes or my judgment. Since one demon failed, who’s to say they won’t send more? I can’t live in a bubble, though. I have work tomorrow, and I’ll be damned if I let them turn me into a cowering ball of fear.
“I want to learn how to defend myself,” I say then.
“I’ll find a class for you.”
“If that woman hadn’t been carrying a taser, I’d be dead. Or gone.”
He swallows hard. “I didn’t do enough. I should’ve put a protective detail on you after what happened at the shop. I knew it wasn’t random violence, but I thought I could keep you safe on my own. But I’m not with you all the time.”
“Bullshit. The PD has budgetary considerations. And based on the evidence, they wouldn’t have judged my danger to be acute.”
He sighs. “Goddammit. You’re probably right.”
“Sometimes there’s just nothing you can do, too many factors in play.” If I worked for Twila, this wouldn’t have happened. Felix would be alive, but others would be dead. I can guess and second-guess, but bottom line, this is where I am.
“I feel like I need to tell you something.” Jesse pulls back, serious as I’ve ever seen him.
“What?”
“I dreamed of her last night.”
“Who?”
“The redheaded woman.”
I freeze, unsure of what to ask. “What…?”
“We were in Kilmer…and you were there, too. And we were in this old, creepy house, and you had a bicycle—”
“Oh my God. And there was writing on the walls, letters scratched into the windowsill in the attic. The red-haired woman ran into the woods, and I woke up.” I’m able to finish his description, because last night, I had the same fucking dream.
“What does this mean?” he asks.
“Hell if I know. But I think she must be a real person.”
“Someone we’ve forgotten because of the spell?”
I shrug, my head aching too bad to think on this any further. I’m hurt. I’m scared. But I’m still here. I’ll get stronger and I’ll learn to fight. Whatever’s going on, Jesse and I will figure it out together.
“I don’t have the answers,” I whisper.
“Well, you’ve got me. If it helps any, I checked on the woman from the store. She’s non compos mentis but she’s alive. And I saw on Area 51 that her shop will reopen in a few weeks. Some relative’s taking
“It’s okay,” he whispers into my hair. “It’s over.”
Maybe he can tell, somehow, that the demon didn’t get out of the host before Felix died. I can’t ask what that means for a demon. It makes me happy to imagine the thing trapped in his corpse, unable to muster enough power to move, now that the life force has gone. That’s the most fitting prison imaginable, except that it cost this boy his life. The only reason he’s dead is because the demons saw me talking to him. I feel horrible about it.
Once we deal with the preliminary questions, Jesse takes me to the same clinic. At this rate, they’ll think I’m a battered wife. After a few X-rays, the doctor determines I don’t have a concussion and I just need some rest and pain medicine. Afterward, Jesse drives me to his place; I don’t protest. I’m not up to facing Maria or explaining what the hell happened, especially since I’m not sure myself.
Inside his apartment, Jesse draws me gently into his arms. The thump of his heart is reassuring beneath my cheek. “I was so fucking scared, Shan. I know we’re brand new, I know it’s too soon, but I have to say it. I am crazy in love with you. Please don’t ever make me feel that way again.”
“I love you, too,” I whisper.
After that, he whispers not to worry—I’m safe. But I don’t know if I’ll ever feel safe. I can’t trust my eyes or my judgment. Since one demon failed, who’s to say they won’t send more? I can’t live in a bubble, though. I have work tomorrow, and I’ll be damned if I let them turn me into a cowering ball of fear.
“I want to learn how to defend myself,” I say then.
“I’ll find a class for you.”
“If that woman hadn’t been carrying a taser, I’d be dead. Or gone.”
He swallows hard. “I didn’t do enough. I should’ve put a protective detail on you after what happened at the shop. I knew it wasn’t random violence, but I thought I could keep you safe on my own. But I’m not with you all the time.”
“Bullshit. The PD has budgetary considerations. And based on the evidence, they wouldn’t have judged my danger to be acute.”
He sighs. “Goddammit. You’re probably right.”
“Sometimes there’s just nothing you can do, too many factors in play.” If I worked for Twila, this wouldn’t have happened. Felix would be alive, but others would be dead. I can guess and second-guess, but bottom line, this is where I am.
“I feel like I need to tell you something.” Jesse pulls back, serious as I’ve ever seen him.
“What?”
“I dreamed of her last night.”
“Who?”
“The redheaded woman.”
I freeze, unsure of what to ask. “What…?”
“We were in Kilmer…and you were there, too. And we were in this old, creepy house, and you had a bicycle—”
“Oh my God. And there was writing on the walls, letters scratched into the windowsill in the attic. The red-haired woman ran into the woods, and I woke up.” I’m able to finish his description, because last night, I had the same fucking dream.
“What does this mean?” he asks.
“Hell if I know. But I think she must be a real person.”
“Someone we’ve forgotten because of the spell?”
I shrug, my head aching too bad to think on this any further. I’m hurt. I’m scared. But I’m still here. I’ll get stronger and I’ll learn to fight. Whatever’s going on, Jesse and I will figure it out together.
“I don’t have the answers,” I whisper.
“Well, you’ve got me. If it helps any, I checked on the woman from the store. She’s non compos mentis but she’s alive. And I saw on Area 51 that her shop will reopen in a few weeks. Some relative’s taking
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