stands. Then, her eyes followed a carpet of pink rose petals to the altar; the place where Ryan and Emily would soon be exchanging their vows. She imagined a magnificent sunset as they kissed their first time as husband and wife. It made her want to vomit.
What am I doing here ?
Her attention was drawn to an elderly woman in the crowd, waving both arms in the air, calling her name. It was Martha Mitchell. Keri felt comforted by her welcoming smile, but embarrassed by the attention of heads turned in her direction.
She left the patio and made her way through the crowd to Martha.
“There you are,” Martha said. “I am so glad you came. It’s been too long. Come here and give me a hug.” Martha’s unrestrained excitement caused those standing near to stop and observe, perhaps wondering why the groom’s mother was making such a fuss over her.
After a big hug, Martha took her hand and led her away from the crowd. She turned and faced Keri, looking into her eyes. She knew Martha had an unobstructed view of her broken heart. In a concerned tone, Martha asked, “How is my baby doing?”
Keri forced a slight smile. “I’m okay.”
Martha tilted her head down and lifted her eyebrows. “Are you sure?”
“Really Martha, everything is great.” Silence followed. Martha just stared, as if she knew Keri was lying. “Okay, maybe it’s not great , but I’ll be okay, honest.”
“Have you talked with Ryan?” Martha asked.
Shivers ran up her neck at the thought of talking to him. “Today? Here?” She quickly glanced from side-to-side, checking to see if Ryan might be near. “No. Not yet…I mean no.”
“Dear, it’s all going to be okay. I know how you must feel, but like I’ve told you, God has everything under control. You must believe that.”
At the moment, she found Martha’s confidence in the promise of a brighter tomorrow hard to accept. If God had everything under control, why wasn’t she the one exchanging vows with Ryan tonight? She knew Martha loved her and only meant the best, so she let it go. In need of a diversion, she said, “I’ve missed you so much.”
“Oh, dear. You are so sweet.”
Keri hugged her again and then stepped back to get a full look at her. “You look great.”
“Thank you.”
“I should be the one asking how you are doing with all this?”
“Considering the circumstances…just fine.”
Without thinking, Keri peppered her with questions. “How is he doing? Do you think he’s going to be happy? Have you met this girl yet?” Realizing her anxious flurry of questions, she said, “Listen to me. I must sound like some pitiful wretch.”
Martha leaned close and whispered, “Remember, I feel the same way.”
While she chatted with Martha, her eyes constantly darted about the crowded lawn in hopes of spotting Ryan. She even wondered if she would recognize him after all the years.
I can’t walk up to him now . What would I say ?
The embarrassing thought hit her of him reading what she had written in her last two letters, telling him how much she loved him, and how she knew they were meant for each other.
God , I wish I hadn’t been so stupid !
Then she spotted him. Her heart fluttered. He was turned to the side talking to some guests.
She tried to remain calm. Her throat tightened, cutting off air while her heart pounded on her chest from the inside. She felt weak in the legs. Her body trembled.
Get a hold of yourself .
Martha said, “Oh, there’s Ryan. Would you like me to go get him?”
“Not now. He looks busy. I’ll talk to him later.”
“Darlin’, I understand.”
“Thank you.” She felt relieved. “He looks great. Tell me, Martha, is he happy?”
Martha hesitated. “To be honest, I really don’t know. From the little I’ve seen, Emily shows him a lot of attention, but she just doesn’t seem like his type to me.”
Keri breathed deep and slowly exhaled—her heart still racing. “What do you mean?”
“She’s definitely a
What am I doing here ?
Her attention was drawn to an elderly woman in the crowd, waving both arms in the air, calling her name. It was Martha Mitchell. Keri felt comforted by her welcoming smile, but embarrassed by the attention of heads turned in her direction.
She left the patio and made her way through the crowd to Martha.
“There you are,” Martha said. “I am so glad you came. It’s been too long. Come here and give me a hug.” Martha’s unrestrained excitement caused those standing near to stop and observe, perhaps wondering why the groom’s mother was making such a fuss over her.
After a big hug, Martha took her hand and led her away from the crowd. She turned and faced Keri, looking into her eyes. She knew Martha had an unobstructed view of her broken heart. In a concerned tone, Martha asked, “How is my baby doing?”
Keri forced a slight smile. “I’m okay.”
Martha tilted her head down and lifted her eyebrows. “Are you sure?”
“Really Martha, everything is great.” Silence followed. Martha just stared, as if she knew Keri was lying. “Okay, maybe it’s not great , but I’ll be okay, honest.”
“Have you talked with Ryan?” Martha asked.
Shivers ran up her neck at the thought of talking to him. “Today? Here?” She quickly glanced from side-to-side, checking to see if Ryan might be near. “No. Not yet…I mean no.”
“Dear, it’s all going to be okay. I know how you must feel, but like I’ve told you, God has everything under control. You must believe that.”
At the moment, she found Martha’s confidence in the promise of a brighter tomorrow hard to accept. If God had everything under control, why wasn’t she the one exchanging vows with Ryan tonight? She knew Martha loved her and only meant the best, so she let it go. In need of a diversion, she said, “I’ve missed you so much.”
“Oh, dear. You are so sweet.”
Keri hugged her again and then stepped back to get a full look at her. “You look great.”
“Thank you.”
“I should be the one asking how you are doing with all this?”
“Considering the circumstances…just fine.”
Without thinking, Keri peppered her with questions. “How is he doing? Do you think he’s going to be happy? Have you met this girl yet?” Realizing her anxious flurry of questions, she said, “Listen to me. I must sound like some pitiful wretch.”
Martha leaned close and whispered, “Remember, I feel the same way.”
While she chatted with Martha, her eyes constantly darted about the crowded lawn in hopes of spotting Ryan. She even wondered if she would recognize him after all the years.
I can’t walk up to him now . What would I say ?
The embarrassing thought hit her of him reading what she had written in her last two letters, telling him how much she loved him, and how she knew they were meant for each other.
God , I wish I hadn’t been so stupid !
Then she spotted him. Her heart fluttered. He was turned to the side talking to some guests.
She tried to remain calm. Her throat tightened, cutting off air while her heart pounded on her chest from the inside. She felt weak in the legs. Her body trembled.
Get a hold of yourself .
Martha said, “Oh, there’s Ryan. Would you like me to go get him?”
“Not now. He looks busy. I’ll talk to him later.”
“Darlin’, I understand.”
“Thank you.” She felt relieved. “He looks great. Tell me, Martha, is he happy?”
Martha hesitated. “To be honest, I really don’t know. From the little I’ve seen, Emily shows him a lot of attention, but she just doesn’t seem like his type to me.”
Keri breathed deep and slowly exhaled—her heart still racing. “What do you mean?”
“She’s definitely a
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