wanted to jump out of the tub and race off to Del Mar, find him and do whatever was necessary to convince him he couldn’t live another day without her. However, a safer, more practical boring side of her had released the idea of it all long before she ever stepped foot in California; trusting he would be happy with Miss Whoever.
Why do you keep doing this to yourself ? Get over him . You know he’s over you . And besides , he’s probably married by now .
She stepped out of the tub, toweled off, and applied a liberal amount of her favorite body moisturizing lotion over her smooth skin before slipping into her most comfortable robe and slippers.
Entering the den, she heard a whimper and spotted Bill waiting for her to return. “I’m coming, little buddy.” When she slid the door back, he ran in, hovering around her legs, following her every step.
She made a hot cup of herbal tea, took the mail and curled-up on the sofa. Bill jumped up beside her. Flipping through the assorted bills, an envelope with a handwritten address caught her eye. Seeing the name “Martha Mitchell” in the upper left corner of the envelope made her smile.
CHAPTER 19
A letter from Martha always cheered her up, but more importantly, Martha was her lifeline to Ryan. Although he had not responded to the letter she’d sent him back in May, he must know by now she was living in California. She had specifically mentioned in the letter that his mother would have her address after she moved. It was hard to imagine why he had waited so long to contact her. Hopefully, Martha’s letter would answer some of her questions. Her heart raced as she tore open the envelope.
Perhaps he is on a multi - month deployment with the Navy . That would make sense why he hasn’t contacted me . Martha would know .
She pulled the folded note from the envelope.
December 23 , 1983
Dear Keri ,
I hope all is going well . I miss you . I wanted to write you as soon as I heard . Ryan is getting married …
She stopped. “Married? No!” Her throat tightened. Tears swelled in her eyes, burning, blurring her vision. She couldn’t hold it back. Consumed by the ache in her heart she burst out crying. The pain penetrated to the very center of her being, deep down to the most sensitive area of her life.
Why , God , why ?
Bill, close by her side, whimpered, releasing an occasional bark. The finality of the word “married” robbed her of all hope. Like a death, the possibility—the hope—of them ever being together was gone.
Several minutes passed before she could think clearly. Sniffling, she wiped the tears from her eyes and cheeks. Bill sat up and placed his paw on her leg. She patted him on the head. “I’ll be okay, little buddy. At least I’ve still got you.”
Although Ryan had mentioned in his letter that he and “this woman” had talked about marriage, she remained in a state of denial that it would happen this soon, if ever. Questions flooded her thoughts.
Where did he meet her ? What kind of girl is she ? Does he really love her ?
So many questions.
How could God let this happen ?
She wanted to talk to Ryan, to ask him why, before he made a huge mistake. Nobody could love him the way she did. She wanted to understand.
It’s just not fair .
She refocused on Martha’s letter.
I can only imagine how this news makes you feel . It was a surprise to me , too . I know how much you care for him …
Reading the words…
I know how much you care for him …
…ambushed her emotions, causing her to burst out again. A fresh stream of tears raced down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away, blinking to clear her eyes. She continued to read.
I know how much you care for him , but you must know that God must have someone better for you .
She thought, how could Martha say God has someone better for me? She knows how much I love Ryan. She knows we were meant to be together. She continued reading.
The girl he has asked to marry him lives in San Diego . I
Why do you keep doing this to yourself ? Get over him . You know he’s over you . And besides , he’s probably married by now .
She stepped out of the tub, toweled off, and applied a liberal amount of her favorite body moisturizing lotion over her smooth skin before slipping into her most comfortable robe and slippers.
Entering the den, she heard a whimper and spotted Bill waiting for her to return. “I’m coming, little buddy.” When she slid the door back, he ran in, hovering around her legs, following her every step.
She made a hot cup of herbal tea, took the mail and curled-up on the sofa. Bill jumped up beside her. Flipping through the assorted bills, an envelope with a handwritten address caught her eye. Seeing the name “Martha Mitchell” in the upper left corner of the envelope made her smile.
CHAPTER 19
A letter from Martha always cheered her up, but more importantly, Martha was her lifeline to Ryan. Although he had not responded to the letter she’d sent him back in May, he must know by now she was living in California. She had specifically mentioned in the letter that his mother would have her address after she moved. It was hard to imagine why he had waited so long to contact her. Hopefully, Martha’s letter would answer some of her questions. Her heart raced as she tore open the envelope.
Perhaps he is on a multi - month deployment with the Navy . That would make sense why he hasn’t contacted me . Martha would know .
She pulled the folded note from the envelope.
December 23 , 1983
Dear Keri ,
I hope all is going well . I miss you . I wanted to write you as soon as I heard . Ryan is getting married …
She stopped. “Married? No!” Her throat tightened. Tears swelled in her eyes, burning, blurring her vision. She couldn’t hold it back. Consumed by the ache in her heart she burst out crying. The pain penetrated to the very center of her being, deep down to the most sensitive area of her life.
Why , God , why ?
Bill, close by her side, whimpered, releasing an occasional bark. The finality of the word “married” robbed her of all hope. Like a death, the possibility—the hope—of them ever being together was gone.
Several minutes passed before she could think clearly. Sniffling, she wiped the tears from her eyes and cheeks. Bill sat up and placed his paw on her leg. She patted him on the head. “I’ll be okay, little buddy. At least I’ve still got you.”
Although Ryan had mentioned in his letter that he and “this woman” had talked about marriage, she remained in a state of denial that it would happen this soon, if ever. Questions flooded her thoughts.
Where did he meet her ? What kind of girl is she ? Does he really love her ?
So many questions.
How could God let this happen ?
She wanted to talk to Ryan, to ask him why, before he made a huge mistake. Nobody could love him the way she did. She wanted to understand.
It’s just not fair .
She refocused on Martha’s letter.
I can only imagine how this news makes you feel . It was a surprise to me , too . I know how much you care for him …
Reading the words…
I know how much you care for him …
…ambushed her emotions, causing her to burst out again. A fresh stream of tears raced down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away, blinking to clear her eyes. She continued to read.
I know how much you care for him , but you must know that God must have someone better for you .
She thought, how could Martha say God has someone better for me? She knows how much I love Ryan. She knows we were meant to be together. She continued reading.
The girl he has asked to marry him lives in San Diego . I
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