what good it’s going to do, but I respect you for trying. How is she?”
“Well,” I say, as I step into the foyer, “I wouldn’t be here if she was doing well.”
She gives me a sad smile. “I know, honey. That’s why I insisted that Jack meet with you. I love Caroline, and I hate that her and her dad are not on good terms.”
I just shrug my shoulders. What else is there to say?
“He’s in his office at the back of the house.” Carmen makes a gesture, indicating where I should go.
Of course the smug bastard has his door shut, forcing me to knock. I remind myself that I’m doing this for Charlie. I knock and wait for him to respond. He makes me wait, ten beats long, before he says, in a stern voice, “Come in.”
When I open the door, he’s sitting behind his desk and makes no effort to stand up or shake my hand. If this bastard thinks that he’s going to intimidate me, he’s got another thing coming. Every Sunday I face guys that could eat Jack Collins for breakfast.
I walk to the edge of his large wooden desk, and stick my hand across it. He looks at it, like it’s diseased. I leave my hand out and wait, looking him in the eye.
And wait.
He will shake my hand.
And wait.
Finally, he reluctantly sticks his hand out, and I shake it. I knew his manners would ultimately prevail. This is a small victory for me.
I take a seat in one of the wing-backed chairs before he can offer. I cross one leg over the other and lean back, trying to appear as non-intimidating as possible. We sit there in silence while I wait for him to acknowledge me. I’ve got all day.
“Okay, Colin. You’ve harassed my wife enough to set up this appointment. What do you want?” he asks, in his know-it-all and I’m-better-than-you voice. Bastard.
“I’m glad you asked, Jack.” I’m assuming that we’re on a first name basis, since he called me Colin. “Your daughter, Caroline,” I say, to remind him exactly who’s at stake here. “She was devastated that you didn’t call to wish her a happy thirtieth birthday. She was even more insulted that the best that you could do was email her a tacky, singing birthday card a day late. Although, I think that you’re a selfish bastard she, for some reason, would like a relationship with you.”
The look on Jack’s face is priceless. He’s probably never been spoken to like that in his life.
“Aren’t you a smug son-of-a-bitch?”
I cut him off and continue. “Her mom and I threw her a birthday party. All of her sisters were there, including Tiffany and Sarah. They drove up from College Station. Rachael flew into town to see her blow out her candles. My parents drove in for her birthday. It was awesome.” I pause for a moment, and then continue. “Her mom made Caroline her favorite cake. We ate dessert first. Do you know about that tradition, Jack?” I ask, as I uncross my legs and lean forward. Before he can reply, I keep talking. “Do you know who wasn’t there? You. You weren’t there, and I know that you got the invitation because I sent it FedEx. Thirty years ago you were present when the most incredible woman entered this world. Yet you can’t get over your ego enough to be there to watch her blow out her thirty birthday candles.”
I continue, “You see, Jack, I couldn’t really care less if I ever see you again. In fact, my fiancée—” I do emphasize the word fiancée “—would say that it’s on the I Don’t Give A Fuck list. However, I love Caroline Jane Collins, more than I love anything else in this world. When she’s sad, I’m devastated. When she doesn’t want to get out of bed in the morning because she’s so upset over her relationship with her father, I want to fix it. Because what you fail to realize, Jack, is that I’m not going away. I’ll never leave her. We’re together for the rest of our lives, and I pray that there’s an afterlife, so we can be together there, also.”
Doctor Jack Collins looks like he’s been hit by a
“Well,” I say, as I step into the foyer, “I wouldn’t be here if she was doing well.”
She gives me a sad smile. “I know, honey. That’s why I insisted that Jack meet with you. I love Caroline, and I hate that her and her dad are not on good terms.”
I just shrug my shoulders. What else is there to say?
“He’s in his office at the back of the house.” Carmen makes a gesture, indicating where I should go.
Of course the smug bastard has his door shut, forcing me to knock. I remind myself that I’m doing this for Charlie. I knock and wait for him to respond. He makes me wait, ten beats long, before he says, in a stern voice, “Come in.”
When I open the door, he’s sitting behind his desk and makes no effort to stand up or shake my hand. If this bastard thinks that he’s going to intimidate me, he’s got another thing coming. Every Sunday I face guys that could eat Jack Collins for breakfast.
I walk to the edge of his large wooden desk, and stick my hand across it. He looks at it, like it’s diseased. I leave my hand out and wait, looking him in the eye.
And wait.
He will shake my hand.
And wait.
Finally, he reluctantly sticks his hand out, and I shake it. I knew his manners would ultimately prevail. This is a small victory for me.
I take a seat in one of the wing-backed chairs before he can offer. I cross one leg over the other and lean back, trying to appear as non-intimidating as possible. We sit there in silence while I wait for him to acknowledge me. I’ve got all day.
“Okay, Colin. You’ve harassed my wife enough to set up this appointment. What do you want?” he asks, in his know-it-all and I’m-better-than-you voice. Bastard.
“I’m glad you asked, Jack.” I’m assuming that we’re on a first name basis, since he called me Colin. “Your daughter, Caroline,” I say, to remind him exactly who’s at stake here. “She was devastated that you didn’t call to wish her a happy thirtieth birthday. She was even more insulted that the best that you could do was email her a tacky, singing birthday card a day late. Although, I think that you’re a selfish bastard she, for some reason, would like a relationship with you.”
The look on Jack’s face is priceless. He’s probably never been spoken to like that in his life.
“Aren’t you a smug son-of-a-bitch?”
I cut him off and continue. “Her mom and I threw her a birthday party. All of her sisters were there, including Tiffany and Sarah. They drove up from College Station. Rachael flew into town to see her blow out her candles. My parents drove in for her birthday. It was awesome.” I pause for a moment, and then continue. “Her mom made Caroline her favorite cake. We ate dessert first. Do you know about that tradition, Jack?” I ask, as I uncross my legs and lean forward. Before he can reply, I keep talking. “Do you know who wasn’t there? You. You weren’t there, and I know that you got the invitation because I sent it FedEx. Thirty years ago you were present when the most incredible woman entered this world. Yet you can’t get over your ego enough to be there to watch her blow out her thirty birthday candles.”
I continue, “You see, Jack, I couldn’t really care less if I ever see you again. In fact, my fiancée—” I do emphasize the word fiancée “—would say that it’s on the I Don’t Give A Fuck list. However, I love Caroline Jane Collins, more than I love anything else in this world. When she’s sad, I’m devastated. When she doesn’t want to get out of bed in the morning because she’s so upset over her relationship with her father, I want to fix it. Because what you fail to realize, Jack, is that I’m not going away. I’ll never leave her. We’re together for the rest of our lives, and I pray that there’s an afterlife, so we can be together there, also.”
Doctor Jack Collins looks like he’s been hit by a
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