up at me. “Daddy, is this my fault? Did I do this to her?”
“No sweetheart, she did it to herself.” I hugged her tight. “In fact she has been working herself up to this for many years. Am I right, Doc?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so.” He looked down at Vanessa’s body. “I hope her soul has found some peace and happiness, wherever she is now.” He turned to Susie. “Susie, as bad as this seems, it might be a reprieve for your mother. Vanessa was a strong force, too strong, in your mother’s life. It’ll be a big adjustment for her, a shock. There is nothing you can do for your grandmother. Focus on your mother, help her deal with this.” He nodded toward the stairs. “Do you want me to break this to her?”
Susie looked up at me. I answered for her. “No. Susie and I will tell her.”
He nodded. “Let’s hope she sees this as a release, her chance for some normalcy in her life.”
Amy made no comment when we told her. She asked me to leave, but wanted Susie to stay with her for a while. Doc Andrews had left a couple of sedatives. Susie gave her one and soon Amy was sleeping soundly. In fact, she slept for most of the next couple of days as Susie and I made the funeral arrangements.
Amy’s indifferent reaction came as a relief to Susie and I, but left us wondering and worrying. She had shown a measure of grief when her father passed away. She had shed silent tears at his death and then again at his service. She had not shed a tear for her mother.
Vanessa Harrington’s service was a small, cold ceremony. She didn’t have any real friends. The minister spoke briefly in the mortuary chapel while Amy sat stiffly between Susie and me, staring blankly ahead. She had not asked to see her mother in the casket. The minister’s words elicited no demonstration of interest, let alone grief, from anyone present. At the conclusion of his words, folks filed out of the chapel to await the funeral procession.
I left Amy with Susie briefly to speak with my folks. After some comforting words, they left, saying they would see me at the gravesite. I reentered the chapel just in time to see Amy rise, turn and touch Susie’s shoulder to indicate she should remain seated.
Amy walked slowly to the casket as I slipped into the pew and reached for Susie’s hand. We sat not knowing what to do and watched quietly. Amy stood peering down at her dead mother’s face. Her profile revealed nothing of her inner thoughts.
How long she stood there, I have no idea. Looking back, it seemed forever and yet it also seemed to be a brief flash of time. There was a surreal dreamlike quality to everything, which was enhanced by the prisms of the stained glass windows reflecting around the room. As we watched, something happened that jolted Susie and I back to reality.
Amy leaned forward and spit on her mother’s face. She pivoted about, looking neither right, left or at us and walked briskly out of the chapel.
I came to my feet and glanced several times between Amy’s retreating back and the casket. I pulled a handkerchief from my pocket and looked to Susie.
She stayed my hand and met my eyes. “No. Let’s go to mother.” She nodded toward the casket. “What happened is between her and her mother. We’ll probably never understand it and we should never talk about it either.”
I nodded my agreement, took my daughter’s arm and quietly walked up the aisle and out in to the sunshine. Neither of us looked back.
*****
Shortly after the funeral, we went to see Doc Andrews about Susie’s pregnancy. Amy held Susie's hand while we talked, but she did not offering any frightening comments about the agony and pain of childbirth. She just held her daughter’s hand.
Jeff came over that same night. He and Susie informed us that they were going to get married as soon as possible. The three of us discussed the pros and cons
“No sweetheart, she did it to herself.” I hugged her tight. “In fact she has been working herself up to this for many years. Am I right, Doc?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so.” He looked down at Vanessa’s body. “I hope her soul has found some peace and happiness, wherever she is now.” He turned to Susie. “Susie, as bad as this seems, it might be a reprieve for your mother. Vanessa was a strong force, too strong, in your mother’s life. It’ll be a big adjustment for her, a shock. There is nothing you can do for your grandmother. Focus on your mother, help her deal with this.” He nodded toward the stairs. “Do you want me to break this to her?”
Susie looked up at me. I answered for her. “No. Susie and I will tell her.”
He nodded. “Let’s hope she sees this as a release, her chance for some normalcy in her life.”
Amy made no comment when we told her. She asked me to leave, but wanted Susie to stay with her for a while. Doc Andrews had left a couple of sedatives. Susie gave her one and soon Amy was sleeping soundly. In fact, she slept for most of the next couple of days as Susie and I made the funeral arrangements.
Amy’s indifferent reaction came as a relief to Susie and I, but left us wondering and worrying. She had shown a measure of grief when her father passed away. She had shed silent tears at his death and then again at his service. She had not shed a tear for her mother.
Vanessa Harrington’s service was a small, cold ceremony. She didn’t have any real friends. The minister spoke briefly in the mortuary chapel while Amy sat stiffly between Susie and me, staring blankly ahead. She had not asked to see her mother in the casket. The minister’s words elicited no demonstration of interest, let alone grief, from anyone present. At the conclusion of his words, folks filed out of the chapel to await the funeral procession.
I left Amy with Susie briefly to speak with my folks. After some comforting words, they left, saying they would see me at the gravesite. I reentered the chapel just in time to see Amy rise, turn and touch Susie’s shoulder to indicate she should remain seated.
Amy walked slowly to the casket as I slipped into the pew and reached for Susie’s hand. We sat not knowing what to do and watched quietly. Amy stood peering down at her dead mother’s face. Her profile revealed nothing of her inner thoughts.
How long she stood there, I have no idea. Looking back, it seemed forever and yet it also seemed to be a brief flash of time. There was a surreal dreamlike quality to everything, which was enhanced by the prisms of the stained glass windows reflecting around the room. As we watched, something happened that jolted Susie and I back to reality.
Amy leaned forward and spit on her mother’s face. She pivoted about, looking neither right, left or at us and walked briskly out of the chapel.
I came to my feet and glanced several times between Amy’s retreating back and the casket. I pulled a handkerchief from my pocket and looked to Susie.
She stayed my hand and met my eyes. “No. Let’s go to mother.” She nodded toward the casket. “What happened is between her and her mother. We’ll probably never understand it and we should never talk about it either.”
I nodded my agreement, took my daughter’s arm and quietly walked up the aisle and out in to the sunshine. Neither of us looked back.
*****
Shortly after the funeral, we went to see Doc Andrews about Susie’s pregnancy. Amy held Susie's hand while we talked, but she did not offering any frightening comments about the agony and pain of childbirth. She just held her daughter’s hand.
Jeff came over that same night. He and Susie informed us that they were going to get married as soon as possible. The three of us discussed the pros and cons
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