childlike trust that had grazed on texts. And their faces—as faces are wont to do under stress and panic—turned into shadows, into illusions, until it was impossible to tell what was more insane, unreal, chimeric—their faces, the unfathomable accusativs cum infinitivo, or the hellish trust of a deluded old man and what had been real slowly turned into a world of ideals, oh, let me dream now, let me!
The teacher, however, having given Bobkowski an F and having finally exhausted animis oblatis, dreamt up a new problem, namely, what will passivum futurum conditionalis be in the third person plural of the reflexive verb colleo, colleavi, colleatum, and now this new idea caught his fancy.
"An amazing thing!" he exclaimed rubbing his hands, "amazing and instructive too! Well, gentlemen! This is an issue replete with subtlety! Here is a fertile field for showing off your intellectual prowess! Because if ollandus sim derives from olleare then . . . yes, then, then . . . gentlemen . . ." but the gendemen had seemingly disappeared, terrified out of existence. "Right! Well? Well? Collan . . . collan ..."
No one said a word. The little old man, still brimming with hope, went on repeating his: "yes, yes" and "collan, collan," he beamed, he wooed them with his riddles, he encouraged and incited them, and— as best he knew how—he called for answers, for knowledge, for happiness and fulfillment. But suddenly he realized that no one wanted any of it, that he had been dancing while facing a blank wall. His lights dimmed, and in a hollow voice he said:
"Collandus sim! Collandus sim!" he repeated sadly, and, humiliated by the silence, he added: "How is it, gentlemen? Don't you appreciate any of it?! Can't you see that collandus sim develops intelligence, improves the mind, builds character, perfects us in everyway and bonds us with ancient thought? Because, mark you, if ollandus is from olleare, then clearly collandus is from colleare, because passivum futurum of the third conjugation ends in dus, dus, us, with the exception of the exceptions. Us, us, us— gentlemen! There is nothing more logical than a language in which everything that's illogical is an exception! Us, us, us, gentlemen," he ended despondently, "what a great factor in evolution!" At that moment Galkiewicz jumped to his feet and groaned: "Evolution, shmolution! How can it develop anything when it develops nothing? How can it perfect anything when it perfects nothing? How can it build something when it doesn't build anything? O God, O God-O God, O God!"
Teacher "What's this, Master Galkiewicz? The suffix us does not perfect you? You're telling me that this suffix does not perfect you? That the suffix passivi futuri of the third conjugation does not enrich you? Come, come, Galkiewicz!"
Galkiewicz "That little tail ending does not enrich me! That little tail does not perfect me! Not in the least! O God! O God!"
Teacher "What do you mean—doesn't enrich you? Master Galkiewicz, when I say it enriches you, it most certainly does! And I'm telling you it does enrich you! Trust me, Galkiewicz! Of course an ordinary mind cannot grasp these great benefits! In order to grasp them one has to, after years of extensive studies, first become an extraordinary mind oneself! For Christ's sake, in the course of the past year we've covered seventy-three poems from Caesar, and in these poems Caesar describes how he positioned his cohorts on a hillock. Those seventy-three poems, just the words themselves, haven't they mysteriously revealed to you, Galkiewicz, all the riches of antiquity? Haven't they taught you its style, its clarity of thought, its precision of expression, and its art of war?"
Galkiewicz "Nothing! Nothing! No art. I'm just scared of an F. That's all I'm scared of! Oh, I can't, I can't!"
Generalized inability was now threatening everyone. The teacher realized that it was threatening him too, and, worse still, if he did not redouble his trust to counter his own sudden
The teacher, however, having given Bobkowski an F and having finally exhausted animis oblatis, dreamt up a new problem, namely, what will passivum futurum conditionalis be in the third person plural of the reflexive verb colleo, colleavi, colleatum, and now this new idea caught his fancy.
"An amazing thing!" he exclaimed rubbing his hands, "amazing and instructive too! Well, gentlemen! This is an issue replete with subtlety! Here is a fertile field for showing off your intellectual prowess! Because if ollandus sim derives from olleare then . . . yes, then, then . . . gentlemen . . ." but the gendemen had seemingly disappeared, terrified out of existence. "Right! Well? Well? Collan . . . collan ..."
No one said a word. The little old man, still brimming with hope, went on repeating his: "yes, yes" and "collan, collan," he beamed, he wooed them with his riddles, he encouraged and incited them, and— as best he knew how—he called for answers, for knowledge, for happiness and fulfillment. But suddenly he realized that no one wanted any of it, that he had been dancing while facing a blank wall. His lights dimmed, and in a hollow voice he said:
"Collandus sim! Collandus sim!" he repeated sadly, and, humiliated by the silence, he added: "How is it, gentlemen? Don't you appreciate any of it?! Can't you see that collandus sim develops intelligence, improves the mind, builds character, perfects us in everyway and bonds us with ancient thought? Because, mark you, if ollandus is from olleare, then clearly collandus is from colleare, because passivum futurum of the third conjugation ends in dus, dus, us, with the exception of the exceptions. Us, us, us— gentlemen! There is nothing more logical than a language in which everything that's illogical is an exception! Us, us, us, gentlemen," he ended despondently, "what a great factor in evolution!" At that moment Galkiewicz jumped to his feet and groaned: "Evolution, shmolution! How can it develop anything when it develops nothing? How can it perfect anything when it perfects nothing? How can it build something when it doesn't build anything? O God, O God-O God, O God!"
Teacher "What's this, Master Galkiewicz? The suffix us does not perfect you? You're telling me that this suffix does not perfect you? That the suffix passivi futuri of the third conjugation does not enrich you? Come, come, Galkiewicz!"
Galkiewicz "That little tail ending does not enrich me! That little tail does not perfect me! Not in the least! O God! O God!"
Teacher "What do you mean—doesn't enrich you? Master Galkiewicz, when I say it enriches you, it most certainly does! And I'm telling you it does enrich you! Trust me, Galkiewicz! Of course an ordinary mind cannot grasp these great benefits! In order to grasp them one has to, after years of extensive studies, first become an extraordinary mind oneself! For Christ's sake, in the course of the past year we've covered seventy-three poems from Caesar, and in these poems Caesar describes how he positioned his cohorts on a hillock. Those seventy-three poems, just the words themselves, haven't they mysteriously revealed to you, Galkiewicz, all the riches of antiquity? Haven't they taught you its style, its clarity of thought, its precision of expression, and its art of war?"
Galkiewicz "Nothing! Nothing! No art. I'm just scared of an F. That's all I'm scared of! Oh, I can't, I can't!"
Generalized inability was now threatening everyone. The teacher realized that it was threatening him too, and, worse still, if he did not redouble his trust to counter his own sudden
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