Fearless by Cheryl Douglas

question, so he remained silent. He wanted her there, but not as a pit stop on her way out of his life.
    She sighed. “Damn it, Josh, if you don’t want me at the party, just say the word. I’ll understand.”
    He grabbed the cordless phone and threw it across the room, shattering it against the door. “I don’t understand. I don’t understand any of this. Why the hell are you doing this?”
    She cringed, covering her ears and squeezing her eyes shut. “Stop it. Don’t do this,” she pleaded.
    He cursed himself for losing control. He never lost control, never yelled, threw things, or drank excessively. But the last couple of weeks, he had become someone he didn’t even recognize anymore. He couldn’t go on this way. He had to come to terms with her decision and let her go. Maybe it would be best if she went back to Arkansas. He could only hope that once she was out of sight, he would be able to put her out of his mind.
    “Look, I’m sorry about that.” He forced himself to rein in his temper. “I was out of line.” He crossed the studio to draw the blinds. “If you want to come to the party, you’re more than welcome.”
    She seemed to consider his words. “Would it be okay if I brought someone with me to the party?”
    He stared at her, unable to believe her audacity. Surely, she wasn’t asking permission to bring a date to his house. “Are you talking about that guy you were with tonight?”
    She nodded her head. “His name is Mark. He’s really a very nice guy.”
    He considered the ramifications of putting his fist through the nearest wall of mirrors. He knew he wouldn’t feel the pain; he was already numb. “Be my guest. Bring whoever the hell you want.” He held the front door open for her. “If you’ll excuse me, I really need to hit the shower.”
    “Josh, I...”
    He held his hand up to silence her. “We have nothing more to say to each other. I think you need to leave, now.”
    She hung her head. “I’m sorry I came. I thought...” She passed through the door and turned to face him.
    He hated that he still wanted her as much, if not more, than before. “I don’t want to hear it. I’m sick and tired of wasting my time with a woman who gets off on jerking me around.”
    Her eyes pleaded with him. “Please don’t say that. I don’t want you to hate me.”
    He glared at her. “I don’t hate you. I don’t feel anything for you anymore. Good night, Lexi. And if you change your mind about tomorrow night, have a safe trip home.” 
    He let the door close in her face and turned the lock. He hit the light switch and stalked to the back of the studio, determined to stand under the stream of hot water until he was too tired to think about her or feel the knife wedged in his back.
     
    Josh knew he had to hold it together today. His kids deserved a memorable sixteenth birthday party, and he would be damned if he’d let his preoccupation with Lexi rob them of that. She would be leaving tomorrow, out of town and out of his life.
    He hadn’t expected to feel so angry, so bitter. He had naïvely believed they would be able to maintain their friendship, but last night had quashed that hope. If she wasn’t willing to trust him, to take a chance on them, there was no way he would continue to torture himself with thoughts of what might have been.
    “Hey, Dad, everything looks great. Thanks for doing this for us.” Jay slapped him on the back.
    “My pleasure,” Josh said, stocking one of half a dozen coolers scattered around the pool.
    “You okay, Dad? You haven’t been yourself lately.”
    Josh considered brushing off his son’s concern, but he wasn’t a kid anymore. He deserved to know the truth. He sat down on the edge of a lounging chair. “Remember when I told you Lexi and I were just friends?”
    Jay laughed. “Yeah, but after that kiss at the cabin, we kind of figured things out for ourselves.”
    Josh grimaced. Making out in front of his sons had been in poor taste and not