like her, anyway.
That’s what I tell myself for three days. Dakota keeps me company, the both of us pretty much outcasts. We go to the library and read together or play games on our phones, or we go out on the lawn when it’s sunny. We talk about nothing. And everything. College, family, dreams. She’s from Georgia, but I always tease her that she’s from North Dakota. She wants to go to Alaska and research wolves. Her mother’s addicted to oxycodone. Her father divorced her when Dakota was ten. Her stutter’s been with her ever since. She’s been teased relentlessly all her life for it. Hearing about her past makes me remember other people have it shittier than I do.
It’s nice to spend time with a human, with someone who knows what a hot pocket is and the anguish of getting something less than an A+ on a test.
And then, on the fourth day, when Dakota has a make up test to do at lunch, I go back to the dorm to take a nap. When I walk in, Raine is at the mirror over her desk, applying make-up over the brightest, darkest bruise I’ve ever seen.
It’s above her cheek, just below her eye. The bloodstreaked purple color turns to green on the edges, and swallows nearly half her delicate, fox-like face. Her blue eyes widen, and she slaps her hand on her cheek and smiles.
“Vic, you – crap, I mean – Victoria. What are you doing here so early?”
“Where did you get that from?”
“Get what?” She laughs, breathlessly. “I’m just touching up my makeup for drama rehearsal –”
“Don’t lie to me,” I snap. “I saw it. Who gave you that?”
“I tripped,” She says smoothly. “There’s so much stuff lying around the stage, you wouldn’t believe it –”
“So you tripped and landed right on your cheek, and only on your cheek? I find that a little hard to believe.”
“It happens all the time to other people.”
“Yeah, but you aren’t ‘other people’. You’re a Gutter. I’ve seen you guys in action. You don’t trip.”
Raine’s blue eyes darken to steel. “Ah yes. You’ve seen a lot of us, haven’t you? The patra . My informants told me all about that.”
“Informants?”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” She smiles wider. “I meant ‘friends’. That’s what I call them out loud.”
“But in your head, it’s ‘informants’.”
“Yes. Shallow of me, isn’t it? Using false friendships for information. But that’s how the Illuminator sotho have always conducted themselves. Information first. Everything else in life second. That’s what father taught me.”
“Is he the one who gave you that bruise?”
Raine’s eyes grow instantly cold and then she lightens them, forces them to grow warm again to appear normal. She trills a little laugh.
“Of course not. My father is miles away on the reservation!”
She lifts her hand and quickly begins applying foundation to cover it. She doesn’t wince outwardly, but I can see her shoulders tremble every time she presses on the bruised flesh. I’ve seen Alisa do the same thing in the hospital. She’s used to pain. She wears it well, and that tells me all I need to know – this isn’t the first time it’s happened. And it’s not the last. In an obvious attempt to get me to stop asking questions about it, she sighs prettily.
“Did you know sotho are forbidden to engage in patra with other sotho ?”
“Oh yeah? Then why did Shadus and Taj –”
“The only time it is permitted,” She smiles at me with all her teeth. “Is when two sotho seek the same mate.”
My stomach sinks faster than the Titanic. Shadus’ words that night to Taj echo in my head. ‘She’s not Raine. You’re confusing all of them’ .
“But – But that’s impossible. Y-You –”
“Shadus’ father and my own have arranged our mating since we were hatchlings, though it’s not set in stone. Taj’s mother, of course, wants him to mate me, not Shadus. Taj’s brothers and Shadus’ cousins have declared patra many times to fight over sotho
That’s what I tell myself for three days. Dakota keeps me company, the both of us pretty much outcasts. We go to the library and read together or play games on our phones, or we go out on the lawn when it’s sunny. We talk about nothing. And everything. College, family, dreams. She’s from Georgia, but I always tease her that she’s from North Dakota. She wants to go to Alaska and research wolves. Her mother’s addicted to oxycodone. Her father divorced her when Dakota was ten. Her stutter’s been with her ever since. She’s been teased relentlessly all her life for it. Hearing about her past makes me remember other people have it shittier than I do.
It’s nice to spend time with a human, with someone who knows what a hot pocket is and the anguish of getting something less than an A+ on a test.
And then, on the fourth day, when Dakota has a make up test to do at lunch, I go back to the dorm to take a nap. When I walk in, Raine is at the mirror over her desk, applying make-up over the brightest, darkest bruise I’ve ever seen.
It’s above her cheek, just below her eye. The bloodstreaked purple color turns to green on the edges, and swallows nearly half her delicate, fox-like face. Her blue eyes widen, and she slaps her hand on her cheek and smiles.
“Vic, you – crap, I mean – Victoria. What are you doing here so early?”
“Where did you get that from?”
“Get what?” She laughs, breathlessly. “I’m just touching up my makeup for drama rehearsal –”
“Don’t lie to me,” I snap. “I saw it. Who gave you that?”
“I tripped,” She says smoothly. “There’s so much stuff lying around the stage, you wouldn’t believe it –”
“So you tripped and landed right on your cheek, and only on your cheek? I find that a little hard to believe.”
“It happens all the time to other people.”
“Yeah, but you aren’t ‘other people’. You’re a Gutter. I’ve seen you guys in action. You don’t trip.”
Raine’s blue eyes darken to steel. “Ah yes. You’ve seen a lot of us, haven’t you? The patra . My informants told me all about that.”
“Informants?”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” She smiles wider. “I meant ‘friends’. That’s what I call them out loud.”
“But in your head, it’s ‘informants’.”
“Yes. Shallow of me, isn’t it? Using false friendships for information. But that’s how the Illuminator sotho have always conducted themselves. Information first. Everything else in life second. That’s what father taught me.”
“Is he the one who gave you that bruise?”
Raine’s eyes grow instantly cold and then she lightens them, forces them to grow warm again to appear normal. She trills a little laugh.
“Of course not. My father is miles away on the reservation!”
She lifts her hand and quickly begins applying foundation to cover it. She doesn’t wince outwardly, but I can see her shoulders tremble every time she presses on the bruised flesh. I’ve seen Alisa do the same thing in the hospital. She’s used to pain. She wears it well, and that tells me all I need to know – this isn’t the first time it’s happened. And it’s not the last. In an obvious attempt to get me to stop asking questions about it, she sighs prettily.
“Did you know sotho are forbidden to engage in patra with other sotho ?”
“Oh yeah? Then why did Shadus and Taj –”
“The only time it is permitted,” She smiles at me with all her teeth. “Is when two sotho seek the same mate.”
My stomach sinks faster than the Titanic. Shadus’ words that night to Taj echo in my head. ‘She’s not Raine. You’re confusing all of them’ .
“But – But that’s impossible. Y-You –”
“Shadus’ father and my own have arranged our mating since we were hatchlings, though it’s not set in stone. Taj’s mother, of course, wants him to mate me, not Shadus. Taj’s brothers and Shadus’ cousins have declared patra many times to fight over sotho
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