Fat Girls and Fairy Cakes by Sue Watson

the role of producer. You couldn’t fail with such a great team. I think it would be useful for you and me to have a talk about the future of the show and other projects. Can you come to see me at midday.
MJ.
     
     “I wonder what she wants.” I said to Val. “The gardening show has nothing to do with her.”
    “I expect she’s trying to climb on the back of your success, Stel. Maybe she wants you back in her department. After the gardening show, having your name around will no doubt help her out.”
    “Mmm. You’re probably right. In her email she even takes the credit for putting me on the programme, like she thought it would be good for me.”
    “You know what she’s like” said Val.
    “Yeah...”
    “...a bitch!” we both said together and laughed.
    I refused to let it get to me and remained unperturbed by the prospect of my meeting with MJ throughout the morning. I was now safe from her clutches in the Gardening Department where my career was finally on the up. I’d heard that the second series had already been commissioned and I was delighted to be in the glow zone. I’d been out of it for so long I’d been feeling quite chilly.
    I turned up as requested at 12pm to see MJ. I was feeling unusually confident for this meeting, wearing a suit and heels (so unlike the wellingtons and waterproofs that I’d been used to wearing recently). Even the timing seemed much more geared to suit me, with no end-of-day child-collection worries. Maybe this was MJ’s attempt at a peace offering?
    I knocked on the door confidently and MJ’s assistant Cynthia came over.
     “Hi Stella, would you like to wait here for a few minutes? MJ has someone with her. They’re running a little late,” she said, gesturing to the chair outside the office.
    I didn’t mind at all. While I was waiting I had the chance to think about how I would turn MJ down. I suspected she was going to offer me a role back in Documentaries, so that she could take credit for my work. As much as I would enjoy saying no, I really didn’t want to make an even bigger enemy of her than I already had. I decided I would be polite, say I was flattered and perhaps even offer some ideas and even contacts for their latest doc, but no way could I ever work with her again.
    I must have waited and contemplated for about fifteen minutes before MJ’s door finally opened. I was rather surprised to see The Head Gardener shuffle out of the office, sheepishly shutting the door and keeping his head down. He looked a little flustered and though he saw me, he didn’t speak or make eye contact, just nodded in my direction. I began to get nervous, but assured myself it was nothing. Whatever he was up to, I was responsible for the success of the show and not even MJ could deny that.
     I knew there was nothing she could do to me, she wasn’t my boss anymore, so I distracted myself by thinking about what I’d make for pudding that night. I was just covering the sweet mixed berries in Delia’s summer pudding with thick clotted cream when MJ appeared in the doorway. “Come in, Stella,” she held a frozen smile and ushered me to a low, hard seat.
    She cleared her throat and sat down, tidying papers and pretending to be transfixed by one every now and then. Still using her old technique she made me feel that I was merely an irritating interruption as she had lots more important stuff to deal with. Yet it was she who had invited me to this meeting. My heart started palpitating. As I’m sure she knew it would.
    “I have some news for you about a big promotion,” she started. My heart leapt. “Everyone on a very senior level is in agreement with this.”
    Woohoo! I wished it wasn’t MJ giving me this news but I had been the one who turned Is God in a Garden? around and made it a hit. I had worked so hard after the initial show to ensure we focused on the comedy of the contributors and it had really paid off. Now it seemed that everyone who mattered was finally