Exposed: A Novel by Ashley Weis Page B

insides from my cervix to my heart. No one loved me. No one ever would.
    I know what to do, I thought.
    I hurried to the dining room and pulled my cell phone from my purse. I searched for Gianna’s number and called.
    Two rings and she picked up.
    “Look who it is,” she said.
    “Hey, I need to talk to someone, can I come over?”
    “Why not? I just got off work. What time will you be here?”
    Ugh, work. The word tormented me.
    I wrote down directions to her $3,000 a month apartment in Canton and hung up the phone.
    Within ten minutes I headed south on I-95. If only I knew just how south I was really headed.
    Gianna welcomed me with a hug and immediately handed me a joint. I shook my head.
    She smirked and walked away. “Close the door, would ya?”
    I shut the door and followed her into the living room. Her apartment seemed so feminine and dainty, like a classy young businesswoman lived there. White couches, silk rose petals on the glass coffee table, no television, shelves of books—you would never guess a porn star lived there.
    “So, what’s going on? Need some tips or something?” She sat on the couch and pulled her knees to her chest.
    I sat across from her on the loveseat. “Um, actually I want to ask you a question.”
    She smiled. Or tried to.
    “Do you ever want to stop doing this stuff?” I said.
    She sunk into the couch, cross-legged, and inhaled more pot. “By this stuff, do you mean pot?”
    “Porn.”
    “Well, you know, I like to think of it as adult entertainment. I’m an actress, not a porn star. And no, I don’t ever want to stop. Sometimes I did in the beginning, but”—she held up the joint—“this gets me through it. And I need the money. Bad.”
    “Yeah.” I thought of Cola.
    “I’ve learned to think of it as destiny.”
    Destiny?
    “It’s art, you know.”
    I nodded without looking up, hoping for a tiny piece of encouragement somewhere under her words.
    “What?”
    I looked up, half-smiled.
    “Well, it may not be Forrest Gump or anything, but some of it can be very creative and fun. Very beautiful.”
    There’s no way she experienced the same thing I did—the ripping and bleeding, the laxatives and bruises. Beautiful was not in porn’s dictionary, at least not in mine.
    “Look, just think of it this way, you are helping tons of marriages and families.”
    “I am?”
    “Of course you are. Think of all the marriages that use adult entertainment to spice up their lives. That’s gotta count for something, right?” She swept her long hair behind her ear.
    I touched the sofa. “Is this silk?”
    “Oh yeah, everything I own is silk. Well, like, almost everything.”
    She stood and walked into the kitchen, strutting as if her living room turned into a runway when I blinked. I looked over my shoulder as she rummaged through a cabinet and snatched a bag of Cooler Ranch Doritos.
    She popped the top of the bag open and walked back into the living room. “Want some?” She held the bag toward me.
    “No, thanks.”
    “Munchies.” She laughed and handed me the last of the joint in her hand.
    Why not? Wash away the bad dreams and imagine a better life for a little while.
    Within an hour we were both high, hungry, and laughing about how wonderful the porn industry was and how we’d soon be stars together. Gianna and Sadie. The best of the best. They’d never find someone better. Ever.
    We lounged.
    We laughed.
    And we lied.
    We were so good at it.

Chapter 25 Ally
    Sean’s lips, inches from mine, assaulted my marriage. And I let them. Eyes closed, I waited for him to kiss me.
    “Ally?” A familiar voice said.
    I jerked away from Sean’s face and looked in front of me. Tim licked his lips. I knew he couldn’t wait to tell Verity what he saw. I looked back at Sean. He looked at me, then Tim.
    “Do you know this guy?” Sean said.
    I nodded and said to Tim, “It’s not what you think.”
    “Right,” he said, and walked away.
    Of all people, of all times.
    I stood and