underworld. I must say, we
are all very impressed with this scheme of yours. So original. One
hundred percent shock value. I, myself, am merely a plotter. I
don’t do the violent crimes. I find it ruins your suits. Blood
stains on Dior? You can imagine the dry cleaning bill. But this?
Dane! This is perfect. Deliciously evil. You are to be
congratulated.” Doctor Charm mimed doffing his hat as he gave the
Dane an elaborate bow.
The Dane wrinkled his nose. “I don’t know what
you’re talking about.”
“Why, the murder of all those innocent children.
Quite ingenious. You’ll be the most wanted man for decades to
come.” Doctor Charm turned to a passing super-heroine in a
frighteningly short skirt. “I say, old chap, are all of these
delicacies for your enjoyment, or would you mind if I took
something home with me?”
Starlit Starlet, stunned by his boldness,
stopped to gape.
Doctor Charm lifted her hand to his lips.
“ Enchanté , madam. May I have the
pleasure of your company this evening? Do say yes.” Overhead light
winked off his watch.
“Y-yes,” she stammered.
“Charming, absolutely charming.” He tucked her
arm into his. “Have a fabulous evening, Dane. Remember, the Peerage
is only a call away if you ever need some advice.”
The Rainbow Dane stamped the floor, enraged.
Time was running out. The superheroes were
stunned now, but in a few moments they’d shake off the stupor and
attack. “A tip, gratis: the name will have to go. The LGBT
community has never fully embraced the villains of the world and
you don’t want a lawsuit from them over the use of the rainbow when
you start murdering children. Come to think of it, I suspect the
Danish will be highly incensed when you start portraying them as
wanton killers. All around, a name change will do you a service. If
nothing else, you need to let the public know that you’ve changed
sides.”
“I am a super hero!” the Rainbow Dane
screamed.
Doctor Charm laughed. “Naturally. Naturally. A
super hero who murders children. Isn’t he a gem?” he asked
Starlit.
The Rolling Shock pushed forward. “We aren’t
murdering innocent children.”
“No?” Doctor Charm smiled. “That’s not what I
heard.”
“We’re stopping the children of super villains,
and super villains themselves.”
He laughed. “The children of super
villains? Oh my. Do you know how many super villains have children?
Anyone?” He scanned the crowd for an answer. “Anyone at all? No,
and rightly so. Super villains don’t have children. It’s called a
condom. We keep things under wraps. Now, super heroes? You have children.”
There was a gasp from somewhere in the
crowd.
“All those adorable little tykes dressed up this
evening as they go begging door to door. I suspect there’s even one
or two dressed as Doctor Charm. They’ll make easy targets for the
Dane here, and you have no way of knowing who they belong to.”
“Super villains have children!” the Rainbow Dane
shouted.
“Really?” Doctor Charm caught the hand of
another passing heroine. “Stay with me, darling,” he whispered.
Zephyr Girl stepped closer. She’d added a small
blue mask to her costume, but otherwise looked unchanged. He tried
not to show how much it hurt to look at her.
“The Rainbow Dane is leading us on a noble
quest,” she said.
“Zephyr? Is that really you?” Doctor Charm
leaned forward. “Not so girlish anymore. A bit of weight gain? A
pregnancy or three perhaps? I hear you have a boisterous husband
back home, or was that a rumor?”
Tabitha’s back went stiff.
“She doesn’t have any family,” the Rainbow Dane
said. “She has—what in the blue blazes is that?” He pointed up to
the ceiling.
Doctor Charm cocked his head at the lights,
ignoring the floating purple glass. “Light bulbs. Invented by
Thomas Alva Edison in 1879. They turn electric energy into light
waves. Really quite an ingenious design, but not new. You’ve never
noticed them
are all very impressed with this scheme of yours. So original. One
hundred percent shock value. I, myself, am merely a plotter. I
don’t do the violent crimes. I find it ruins your suits. Blood
stains on Dior? You can imagine the dry cleaning bill. But this?
Dane! This is perfect. Deliciously evil. You are to be
congratulated.” Doctor Charm mimed doffing his hat as he gave the
Dane an elaborate bow.
The Dane wrinkled his nose. “I don’t know what
you’re talking about.”
“Why, the murder of all those innocent children.
Quite ingenious. You’ll be the most wanted man for decades to
come.” Doctor Charm turned to a passing super-heroine in a
frighteningly short skirt. “I say, old chap, are all of these
delicacies for your enjoyment, or would you mind if I took
something home with me?”
Starlit Starlet, stunned by his boldness,
stopped to gape.
Doctor Charm lifted her hand to his lips.
“ Enchanté , madam. May I have the
pleasure of your company this evening? Do say yes.” Overhead light
winked off his watch.
“Y-yes,” she stammered.
“Charming, absolutely charming.” He tucked her
arm into his. “Have a fabulous evening, Dane. Remember, the Peerage
is only a call away if you ever need some advice.”
The Rainbow Dane stamped the floor, enraged.
Time was running out. The superheroes were
stunned now, but in a few moments they’d shake off the stupor and
attack. “A tip, gratis: the name will have to go. The LGBT
community has never fully embraced the villains of the world and
you don’t want a lawsuit from them over the use of the rainbow when
you start murdering children. Come to think of it, I suspect the
Danish will be highly incensed when you start portraying them as
wanton killers. All around, a name change will do you a service. If
nothing else, you need to let the public know that you’ve changed
sides.”
“I am a super hero!” the Rainbow Dane
screamed.
Doctor Charm laughed. “Naturally. Naturally. A
super hero who murders children. Isn’t he a gem?” he asked
Starlit.
The Rolling Shock pushed forward. “We aren’t
murdering innocent children.”
“No?” Doctor Charm smiled. “That’s not what I
heard.”
“We’re stopping the children of super villains,
and super villains themselves.”
He laughed. “The children of super
villains? Oh my. Do you know how many super villains have children?
Anyone?” He scanned the crowd for an answer. “Anyone at all? No,
and rightly so. Super villains don’t have children. It’s called a
condom. We keep things under wraps. Now, super heroes? You have children.”
There was a gasp from somewhere in the
crowd.
“All those adorable little tykes dressed up this
evening as they go begging door to door. I suspect there’s even one
or two dressed as Doctor Charm. They’ll make easy targets for the
Dane here, and you have no way of knowing who they belong to.”
“Super villains have children!” the Rainbow Dane
shouted.
“Really?” Doctor Charm caught the hand of
another passing heroine. “Stay with me, darling,” he whispered.
Zephyr Girl stepped closer. She’d added a small
blue mask to her costume, but otherwise looked unchanged. He tried
not to show how much it hurt to look at her.
“The Rainbow Dane is leading us on a noble
quest,” she said.
“Zephyr? Is that really you?” Doctor Charm
leaned forward. “Not so girlish anymore. A bit of weight gain? A
pregnancy or three perhaps? I hear you have a boisterous husband
back home, or was that a rumor?”
Tabitha’s back went stiff.
“She doesn’t have any family,” the Rainbow Dane
said. “She has—what in the blue blazes is that?” He pointed up to
the ceiling.
Doctor Charm cocked his head at the lights,
ignoring the floating purple glass. “Light bulbs. Invented by
Thomas Alva Edison in 1879. They turn electric energy into light
waves. Really quite an ingenious design, but not new. You’ve never
noticed them
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