tucked her feet up under her legs. “This should be educational.”
“Okay, we’ll start at the bottom. Assholes, well that speaks for itself. The tricky thing with an Asshole, though, is that they can manage to convince you—sometimes well enough so you’ll marry them—that they’re not really an Asshole. They’re generally charming, intelligent, and magnetic, and it’s easy to mistake that magnetism for maturity, for authentic masculinity. They’re fun and dynamic, they’re exciting. But their true nature eventually reveals itself. These are the guys who walk slightly ahead of you, just a little bit faster so you have to hurry to keep up. They always forget how you take your coffee, they flirt with other women right in front of you, they drive like madmen and tell you—not very nicely—to lighten up when you remark that you’d rather not die in the passenger seat of their car.
“They commit all kinds of minor, seemingly forgivable trespasses against your self-esteem, they make you feel slightly off-kilter and convince you it’s your problem, not theirs. They are masters of manipulation, utterly narcissistic, and very, very seductive. At first. You will never feel so desired as when an Asshole has you in his sights. But as soon as the conquest is made, he’s off to greener pastures and you’re left feeling like a baby duckling who’s had a nuclear bomb dropped on her head.”
Ember laughed. “Duly noted. No Assholes. What about Betas? Isn’t that a fish?”
He chuckled, nodding. “Close. Betas are much more sensitive and nurturing and seem like ideal husband material compared to the Asshole. Again, at first. They won’t stray, they won’t lie, they’re usually solid as a rock. And twice as dull. They’re the mama’s boys, the wimps, the conformists who don’t have the spine to stand up for themselves, let alone anyone else. Ultimately, they bring out the worst in a woman because of their failure to take charge in the relationship, the way a man secure in himself and what he has to offer would take charge. Betas let you have your way in everything and you end up feeling overworked and underappreciated. You end up feeling like their mommy because they’re too scared to make the hard decisions for themselves. If the words, ‘Yes, dear,’ ever leave a man’s mouth, you know you’re dealing with a Beta. There are a lot of women who’ve had enough of Assholes and settle down with a stable, passive Beta, only to regret it for the rest of their lives.”
Okay, that was a lot to take in from a man with a face covered in green beauty cream.
“And the Alphas?”
Asher sighed. “Ah, the elusive Alpha. The cream of the crop, so to speak. He is masculine in the purest form of the word; confident, capable, fiercely protective of those he cares about, a good father to his children, and a good lover to his woman. He won’t always go along with what you want because he’s got his own ideas of how things should be done, but when it really matters, he’ll listen to your opinion. And your feelings. Though he doesn’t often talk about them, he’s not afraid of feelings—yours or his own—and he’s not afraid of commitment like an Asshole is.
“The flip side of that coin is that he’s not afraid of confrontation, either. He’ll call you out on your bullshit. He’ll stand his ground when you fight but forgive you as soon as the fight is over. He says what he means, he means what he says, and he’s someone you can lean on when times are tough. He’s assertive, self-determined, and everything a real man should be. You might not always agree with him, but you will always admire him, and feel cherished by him. That’s how you know you’re dealing with an Alpha male.”
There was a long silence after this speech, in which the two friends stared at one another and the only sound was the clock ticking on the wall.
“Forget about writing about sports, you should write a romance novel! How do you
“Okay, we’ll start at the bottom. Assholes, well that speaks for itself. The tricky thing with an Asshole, though, is that they can manage to convince you—sometimes well enough so you’ll marry them—that they’re not really an Asshole. They’re generally charming, intelligent, and magnetic, and it’s easy to mistake that magnetism for maturity, for authentic masculinity. They’re fun and dynamic, they’re exciting. But their true nature eventually reveals itself. These are the guys who walk slightly ahead of you, just a little bit faster so you have to hurry to keep up. They always forget how you take your coffee, they flirt with other women right in front of you, they drive like madmen and tell you—not very nicely—to lighten up when you remark that you’d rather not die in the passenger seat of their car.
“They commit all kinds of minor, seemingly forgivable trespasses against your self-esteem, they make you feel slightly off-kilter and convince you it’s your problem, not theirs. They are masters of manipulation, utterly narcissistic, and very, very seductive. At first. You will never feel so desired as when an Asshole has you in his sights. But as soon as the conquest is made, he’s off to greener pastures and you’re left feeling like a baby duckling who’s had a nuclear bomb dropped on her head.”
Ember laughed. “Duly noted. No Assholes. What about Betas? Isn’t that a fish?”
He chuckled, nodding. “Close. Betas are much more sensitive and nurturing and seem like ideal husband material compared to the Asshole. Again, at first. They won’t stray, they won’t lie, they’re usually solid as a rock. And twice as dull. They’re the mama’s boys, the wimps, the conformists who don’t have the spine to stand up for themselves, let alone anyone else. Ultimately, they bring out the worst in a woman because of their failure to take charge in the relationship, the way a man secure in himself and what he has to offer would take charge. Betas let you have your way in everything and you end up feeling overworked and underappreciated. You end up feeling like their mommy because they’re too scared to make the hard decisions for themselves. If the words, ‘Yes, dear,’ ever leave a man’s mouth, you know you’re dealing with a Beta. There are a lot of women who’ve had enough of Assholes and settle down with a stable, passive Beta, only to regret it for the rest of their lives.”
Okay, that was a lot to take in from a man with a face covered in green beauty cream.
“And the Alphas?”
Asher sighed. “Ah, the elusive Alpha. The cream of the crop, so to speak. He is masculine in the purest form of the word; confident, capable, fiercely protective of those he cares about, a good father to his children, and a good lover to his woman. He won’t always go along with what you want because he’s got his own ideas of how things should be done, but when it really matters, he’ll listen to your opinion. And your feelings. Though he doesn’t often talk about them, he’s not afraid of feelings—yours or his own—and he’s not afraid of commitment like an Asshole is.
“The flip side of that coin is that he’s not afraid of confrontation, either. He’ll call you out on your bullshit. He’ll stand his ground when you fight but forgive you as soon as the fight is over. He says what he means, he means what he says, and he’s someone you can lean on when times are tough. He’s assertive, self-determined, and everything a real man should be. You might not always agree with him, but you will always admire him, and feel cherished by him. That’s how you know you’re dealing with an Alpha male.”
There was a long silence after this speech, in which the two friends stared at one another and the only sound was the clock ticking on the wall.
“Forget about writing about sports, you should write a romance novel! How do you
Similar Books
