felt suspiciously like his teenaged self again.
After they finished the last job, Sam tried to slip into his truck unnoticed, but Yuri caught him.
âI need to talk to you, Sam.â
âLook, Iâm sorry about being late.â He shuffled on his feet.
âIâm not going to ask you where you were or why you were late, because I donât care.â
Ouch.
âOkay. Well, then I guess thereâs nothing else to say.â
âThereâs a lot more to say. You canât keep living like thereâs no future.â
âI donât know what youâre talking about.â
âYes, you do. Hey.â Yuri grabbed his arm before he could turn. âI know what itâs like to lose someone too. Youâre afraid to move on with your life, and itâs killing you.â
âIâm not afraid. And this isnât about Emma.â
âYou think Iâm talking about Emma? Iâm talking about your brother and your parents. Itâs the worst thing in the world. It hurts. Itâs horrible. I know. But that doesnât give you an excuse, not anymore. Itâs been years, Sam. Youâre so goddamn smart. You could be doing anything you want. You wanna tell me this life is really what you want? No wonder you drink yourself stupid every night.â
Samâs face burned. âIâm not wasting my life. I do things.â
Yuri scoffed. âYeah. Getting laid and talking about your blog, which you write in, never.â
âIâve been busy.â
âIt makes me mad, because it could be something great. You could have a job you actually liked, and you could make enough money to take care of Tim too.â
âItâs not that easy. Iâve triedââ
Yuri cut him off. âYou havenât tried. You really havenât tried.â
âYou have no idea what youâre talking about,â Sam gritted through his teeth.
Yuri didnât seem to care about arguing in the middle of a suburban street with half the neighbors watching, including their customers. His eyes flashed with anger.
âOh, cut the crap, Sam. You pretend you donât care, but inside youâre scared as hell. Youâre scared as hell.â He started backing away, and the dismissal stung as keenly as his words had. But Sam wasnât going to let go so easily, not with Yuri so clearly spoiling for a fight.
âDonât stop now. Tell me how you really feel.â Sam could barely control the quaver in his voice.
âSee? You always have to turn it around. Rachel told me about you and that Walker guy at the Star last night.â
âSo now you two are talking behind my back. Wonderful.â
âDo you think itâs a good idea to get involved with him?â Yuri asked, quieter now.
âI think youâre jealous. I think thatâs what this is about.â
Yuri frowned. âBelieve whatever you want. I donât care. But if I were you, Iâd seriously consider straightening out my own life first, before I started worrying about anyone elseâs.â
Â
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W HEN N ATHAN called again, Sam almost didnât pick up. Yuriâs words still echoed in his mind, circling around and around, little bits of truth breaking off and lodging like daggers in his brain. He hadnât touched a drop of booze in days, and it was starting to make him irritable.
âSam,â Nathan said when he answered. âIâm sorry about the other night. I shouldnât have left like that.â
âItâs all right.â
âNo, itâs not, and I think I owe you an explanation. Can you come over?â
It was like Nathanâs voice had a direct link to Samâs sympathetic nervous system. He started looking around the living room for his shoes. âWhatâs going on?â
âIâll talk to you when you get here.â
Nathan looked better than he had the last time Sam saw him. Heâd shaven,
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