Don't Look Back: sequel to He Loves Me Not (Lily's Story, Book 2) by Christine Kersey

the teacher, I took Greta through her paces and she did well. I knew she would need another course when she got older, but she was getting the basics down. By the time class was over, I was exhausted. It had been my busiest day yet. I’d started my new job, then worked with Marcus to put in the dog door, and then come to class.
    As I said good-bye to Billi and her dog Chloe, and walked Greta to my car, I thought about Marcus and the way he’d made me feel when he’d helped me use the jigsaw. Heat raced through me as I recalled the sensation of having him so close. But how could I feel that way when it had only been a month since I’d left Trevor? Confused by my feelings, I shook my head as I helped Greta into my car and drove home.
    I hadn’t had a chance to check my email before going to class, but after having a snack, I booted up my laptop and went online, immediately opening my email. There was an email from Trevor. I opened it to see how he’d answered my questions about Amanda.
    Lily,
    I think you misunderstood what you saw. I’m not “with” Amanda. She just happened to stop by when you were there. She’s just a friend. It’s you I love! And honestly, I don’t know what you mean when you said Amanda said I told her to not let you leave. I didn’t tell her anything like that. The only thing I can figure is that I said I hoped you wouldn’t leave before I got back. She must have misunderstood me.
    Please Lily! Please know how much I love you and miss you. I want to be with you so much. You and our baby. Please reconsider what you’re doing. Please, just tell me where you are and I can come and get you and bring you home to be with me.
    Love always, your husband,
    Trevor
    Now I was more confused than ever. Did he really love me? Was he telling the truth about Amanda or did he just not know that I’d seen him kissing her? Did he really not tell Amanda to keep me there until he got back? Or was he just trying to trick me? And if he was trying to trick me, why would he? What did he want from me? Did he want revenge because I’d taken my money back? Did he really want to be a part of our baby’s life? I had no idea what his real agenda was. Half of me wanted to believe him, because then maybe there was a chance for us. But the other half wanted to forget I’d ever known him so I could move on with my life and not have all of the uncertainty that he was throwing at me.
    I felt like I was making a life for myself here and even though I felt lonely a lot of the time, at least I felt relatively safe. And most importantly I had my freedom. Trevor was out of his mind if he thought I would tell him where I was.
    Exhausted, and not wanting to deal with Trevor just then, I shut down my laptop and went to bed.
    As I lay in bed that night, I realized I was two different people. One of my personas was Lily, Trevor’s pregnant and estranged wife. A woman in hiding from her husband. A woman emailing her husband and fighting to figure out what he really wanted from her. A woman desperate to keep her baby safe and to keep her husband from finding her.
    Then there was Kate. As Kate, I played the grieving, pregnant widow. A woman who valiantly lived on her own. A woman who worked part-time, owned a dog, took self-defense classes, and had a devastatingly handsome neighbor who liked to come over and help the poor, helpless young widow.
    In the privacy of my room, I allowed the tears to come. Who did I want to be? Who was I hurting by playacting? What would happen when my baby was born? I couldn’t go on like this forever. Eventually the truth was bound to come out. But right now I really loved being Kate. I didn’t want to be Lily anymore. I wanted Lily to disappear. I wanted to pretend like Trevor had never happened.
    Right then I vowed to ignore Trevor’s emails. If I wanted to be Kate, then Trevor could not exist in my life. Feeling marginally better now that I’d decided on a solution, I was able to drift off to