Del. “This has nothing to do with Del.”
“It doesn’t?”
The bathroom door opened, and Candy swung around, slamming her hand on the door.
“What the hell?” came a startled voice from the other side.
“This bathroom is in use,” Candy shot back. “Go find another.” Facing me, she tossed her hair over her shoulder. “How do you think Del would feel if he knew his girlfriend was making screw-me eyes at another dude?”
“I was not.” I took a step forward, feeling my cheeks flame. “Carson and I are just friends.”
“Since when? I get that you don’t remember anything, but you and Carson are from two different worlds. He hated you. And the feeling was mutual.”
Those three words hit me in the chest harder than they should have. “He hated me?”
She smiled at me like I was a small child who’d just tried to stick my finger in an electric socket. “Do you like him?”
“What?” I shouldered my bag and stalked over to the mirror above the sink, pretending to be engrossed in applying new lip gloss. “I already told you I like him as a friend.”
Her face appeared over my shoulder, her eyes catlike. “That’s reassuring, because it would be really awkward if you did.”
“Why?” I snapped the lip gloss shut, fighting the urge to throw it in her face. “Because he’s not rich?”
She scrunched up her nose. “No. Because he totally got with Cassie last summer at a party, and he did the same with Lauren. Carson’s a player.”
Later that night, I had a boy on my bed. Mrs. Messer insisted that I do normal things every day, things that could trigger my memories. And considering my lack of virginity, having Del in my bedroom had to be something familiar.
Mom and Dad were at some kind of silent auction in Philly, and I had no idea where Scott was. He could be anywhere in the massive house, and I’d have no idea.
“Why didn’t you go shopping with the girls?” Del asked, stretching out beside me.
I gave a lopsided shrug and turned my head toward him. His eyes were like warm chocolate, but I had a feeling they could be colder, harder. “I wanted to spend time with you.”
Del appeared to be happy with that, and it was the truth. Spending alone time with him could only help. Apparently we were things fairy tales were made of, and I wanted to remember it—to feel it. Right now, I felt nothing. My breath didn’t catch, there wasn’t a flutter in my chest or the sweeping heat that—I wouldn’t think of him , especially after what I’d learned about him .
He had slept with Lauren.
And he’d slept with Cassie.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I strung together an atrocity of curse words. I wasn’t going to think about Carson. Seriously. Not when I was with Del. That was wrong on so many levels, and I didn’t need my memories to know that.
I reached out, running the tips of my fingers over the curve of his jaw. His was smooth. I wondered how many times I’d done this in the past.
The simple brush of fingers hadn’t triggered anything in me, but it must have been a sign for Del. His lashes lowered as he rose up on his elbow, hovering over me, not touching, but there, so close.
I swallowed, pulling my hand back to my chest. My breath did catch then, but not out of excitement. Fear and anxiety rode me hard. A questioning look appeared in his eyes, as if he wasn’t sure he should be doing this.
But I wanted him to be doing this. It could help me remember. I needed to remember. Then maybe I’d remember what happened to Cassie.
I nodded and forced my lips into a smile, but I felt my lips tremble.
Del lowered his mouth to my neck, nuzzling the skin there. My fingers curled into the comforter as I pressed my lips together, holding back the word I wanted to scream. Stop .
How many times had we done this? Freaking a lot, I imagined. Why wouldn’t I be kissing and doing all kinds of naughty things with someone who looked like him? And what he was doing was nothing in comparison to how far we’d already gone.
“It doesn’t?”
The bathroom door opened, and Candy swung around, slamming her hand on the door.
“What the hell?” came a startled voice from the other side.
“This bathroom is in use,” Candy shot back. “Go find another.” Facing me, she tossed her hair over her shoulder. “How do you think Del would feel if he knew his girlfriend was making screw-me eyes at another dude?”
“I was not.” I took a step forward, feeling my cheeks flame. “Carson and I are just friends.”
“Since when? I get that you don’t remember anything, but you and Carson are from two different worlds. He hated you. And the feeling was mutual.”
Those three words hit me in the chest harder than they should have. “He hated me?”
She smiled at me like I was a small child who’d just tried to stick my finger in an electric socket. “Do you like him?”
“What?” I shouldered my bag and stalked over to the mirror above the sink, pretending to be engrossed in applying new lip gloss. “I already told you I like him as a friend.”
Her face appeared over my shoulder, her eyes catlike. “That’s reassuring, because it would be really awkward if you did.”
“Why?” I snapped the lip gloss shut, fighting the urge to throw it in her face. “Because he’s not rich?”
She scrunched up her nose. “No. Because he totally got with Cassie last summer at a party, and he did the same with Lauren. Carson’s a player.”
Later that night, I had a boy on my bed. Mrs. Messer insisted that I do normal things every day, things that could trigger my memories. And considering my lack of virginity, having Del in my bedroom had to be something familiar.
Mom and Dad were at some kind of silent auction in Philly, and I had no idea where Scott was. He could be anywhere in the massive house, and I’d have no idea.
“Why didn’t you go shopping with the girls?” Del asked, stretching out beside me.
I gave a lopsided shrug and turned my head toward him. His eyes were like warm chocolate, but I had a feeling they could be colder, harder. “I wanted to spend time with you.”
Del appeared to be happy with that, and it was the truth. Spending alone time with him could only help. Apparently we were things fairy tales were made of, and I wanted to remember it—to feel it. Right now, I felt nothing. My breath didn’t catch, there wasn’t a flutter in my chest or the sweeping heat that—I wouldn’t think of him , especially after what I’d learned about him .
He had slept with Lauren.
And he’d slept with Cassie.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I strung together an atrocity of curse words. I wasn’t going to think about Carson. Seriously. Not when I was with Del. That was wrong on so many levels, and I didn’t need my memories to know that.
I reached out, running the tips of my fingers over the curve of his jaw. His was smooth. I wondered how many times I’d done this in the past.
The simple brush of fingers hadn’t triggered anything in me, but it must have been a sign for Del. His lashes lowered as he rose up on his elbow, hovering over me, not touching, but there, so close.
I swallowed, pulling my hand back to my chest. My breath did catch then, but not out of excitement. Fear and anxiety rode me hard. A questioning look appeared in his eyes, as if he wasn’t sure he should be doing this.
But I wanted him to be doing this. It could help me remember. I needed to remember. Then maybe I’d remember what happened to Cassie.
I nodded and forced my lips into a smile, but I felt my lips tremble.
Del lowered his mouth to my neck, nuzzling the skin there. My fingers curled into the comforter as I pressed my lips together, holding back the word I wanted to scream. Stop .
How many times had we done this? Freaking a lot, I imagined. Why wouldn’t I be kissing and doing all kinds of naughty things with someone who looked like him? And what he was doing was nothing in comparison to how far we’d already gone.
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