Ditch by Beth Steel

Act One
    Scene One
    A remote farm, now a Security outpost in the Peak District. Plot of land. Early evening, the light is fading fast. The guttural croak of a raven overhead. Dogs bark.
    Turner ( Off stage. ) Woo-Hoo!
    Turner runs out followed by James .
    Turner ( Hollers out. ) You jammy cunt! He gonna be gloatin’ all night.
    James Where’s he takin’ her?
    Turner Putting her in that outbuildin’ over there. I been one ahead, now she makes us even.
    James You keep a score?
    Turner Aint as if it’s every day yer getting’ one. That’s the first Illegal we picked up in six weeks.
    James What a’ you doin’ the rest a’ the time?
    Turner Tuggin’ our dicks. Out lookin’ for the next ones s’what we doin’.
    Turner takes out his flask, belts back a drink.
    Most a’ the time me and Bug over there a’ out patrollin’ together. But I’ll have you with me for a few days, train you up and then you can go out with Burns.
    James Been given a letter for him.
    Turner Letter? How’d you get it?
    James Headquarters in Manchester.
    Turner You got it with yer now?
    James nods.
    Turner Let me have a look at it.
    James It sealed.
    Turner Aint gonna open it.
    James S’what you want it for?
    Turner Just give me the fuckin’ letter.
    James produces the letter. Turner snatches looks at the envelope.
    Turner Shit.
    James What?
    Turner Can’t tell what’s in it.
    Turner gives the envelope to James .
    Turner Burns’s boy, Brian, been deployed three year ago.
    James Thinkin’ he dead?
    Turner Probably says he comin’ back, now that we got the strong hold over there.
    Bug enters jauntily.
    Bug What’d you say to that then?
    Turner Yeah, alright. This here is big useless Greg.
    James and Bug shake hands.
    Bug Bug.
    James James.
    Bug A we glad to see you.
    James Glad to be here.
    Bug They gettin’ younger or we older?
    Turner Good to see ’em signin’ up.
    Bug They been sayin’ they gonna send us more men for two months.
    James Well I’m just the one.
    Bug It’s somethin’.
    Turner Things a’ lookin’ up.
    Bug What time you get here?
    Turner About an hour ago.
    Bug Alright, aint it?
    James Glad to be here.
    Bug Where you been posted before?
    James London.
    Bug ( Laughs. ) I bet yer fuckin’ are.
    Turner ( Laughs. ) What a shit hole eh?
    Turner and Bug are now quiet.
    Bug It the way they say?
    James I guess.
    Bug You ain’t sure?
    James Never knowed what it like before.
    Turner London’s finished.
    Bug No sign a’ Recovery there?
    Turner What’s it matter?
    Bug Bein’ London an’ all.
    Turner Manchester’s where it’s at now.
    Bug Yeah, I know.
    Turner Been improvements there.
    Bug Just askin’.
    Turner Where’d you pick her up?
    Bug About twenty mile from the Sheffield border.
    Turner She have a bag with her?
    Bug Nothin’.
    Turner You pick up a woman with no bag, means she up the spout.
    James You get many that way?
    Turner More than you’d think.
    Bug Them rods in ’em aint guaranteed.
    Turner Dint show up at a clinic or ripped ’em out.
    James Where’s she go from here?
    Bug Take her to the train station.
    Turner Same you got off earlier.
    Bug Burns back?
    Turner Nah, better be back here soon, I’m champin’ at the bit for tonight.
    Bug Now we got two things to celebrate.
    Turner You comparin’ seizin’ a knocked-up Illegal to seizin’ a pipeline?
    Bug sheepishly shakes his head.
    Turner Tonight’s about the man that had the bollocks to go over there, and had the bollocks to fight. ( Raises his flask. ) We celebratin’ the King’s bollocks.
    Turner and Bug belt one back.
    James Where we goin’?
    Bug When?
    James Tonight? To celebrate.
    Turner and Bug laugh.
    Turner Aint goin’ nowhere. This here. ( Stops laughing. ) This is your world. Entire. Sky.
    Bug Mountains.
    Turner Moors.
    Bug Bogs.
    Turner Mud.
    Bug